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  1. #1
    Member Cady's Avatar
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    Default Socializing. Is this all there is?

    Why do the majority of social gatherings consist of a competition to see who can drink more alcohol, and make the biggest ass of themselves?

    I was invited to a ESFx friend's cabin this weekend for his 21st birthday and the entire distraction and entire focus of all conversation and activities the entire weekend was alcohol, alcohol, and getting drunk.

    Luckily the conversation was so enthralling. The subjects basically ranged from "how drunk are you?" to <insert stupid thing you did while drunk once> and cycle to ad nauseum. Imagine the following stuck on playback:

    "Are you drunk?"
    "Oh man I'm so drunk."
    "I'm going to drink so much more!"
    "We're getting wasted tonight!"
    "Dude, we were so wasted last night!"
    "Yea I puked but just kept going"
    "Yea that was the shit!"
    "Let's go shotgun a beer!"

    If I have to plaster on one more fake smile while some drunk tells me their awesome drinking story while simultaneously managing to spill their drink all over my shoes I'm just going to give up. Is this really it? It seems like "partying" (read: drinking) has become the be all end all thing to do socially for my age group. Conversation, if it exists at all, consists of monosyllables and a continuous parade of singular bland observations ("This song is so cool.", "You're so drunk!", "It's so dark out").



    At this point I'm wondering why I even try? If this is what it takes to have friends or be social I can't do it. The problem is that isolating myself doesn't work either. Without social interaction I feel lethargic, depressed, and lonely, but I simply can not relate to the vast majority of people in my social group.

    It's complicated further when every time I attempt to meet new people they either turn out the same, secretly wish they could be the same (what the hell is with worshiping these guys like they're some social gods??), or are so far in the opposite direction from me in their value's and personality-wise that meshing is just as bad.

    Where are the confident, intelligent, and still fun young people that value discussion, trying new things, and actually use their brain once and a while? Even my more intuitive and intelligent friends are susceptible to dumbing themselves down in social situations. I feel like shaking them! Wake up! Stop turning into mindless pop culture huffing zombies every time we go out!

    Why is drinking until you throw up and become an obnoxious prick considered so acceptable? If you're home by yourself reading a book you're considered boring and a homebody, but if you're out drinking with friends every night and suddenly you're a social success?

    I'm sorry for the vent but I had to get that off my chest, not to mention any help or insight about this would be greatly appreciated. Do other NT's feel like this?? How do you cope?

    If I have to keep dumbing myself down to be successful with people I might as well just get a lobotomy.
    Sleep late for a better tomorrow.

    Extraverted - 58%
    INtuitive - 73%
    Thinking - 71%
    Perceiving - 66%

  2. #2
    Senior Member avolkiteshvara's Avatar
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    Default

    Sounds like you needed to drink more.

  3. #3
    Member Cady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by avolkiteshvara View Post
    Sounds like you needed to drink more.
    I do drink, but to the point of not being able to form sentences and passing out in your own vomit? Excessive drinking seems to have a strangle hold on it's position as the dominant social activity...
    Sleep late for a better tomorrow.

    Extraverted - 58%
    INtuitive - 73%
    Thinking - 71%
    Perceiving - 66%

  4. #4
    no clinkz 'til brooklyn Nocapszy's Avatar
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    the fact of the matter is, people actually hate other people.
    they drink because they can't stand to remember the stupid shit their friends did last night.

    becoming an ass is simply a side effect, which causes your friends to drink.

    a vicious cycle.
    we fukin won boys

  5. #5
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    I absolutely agree with you, "Cady". I've had similar thoughts throughout my life. However, as an introvert, the isolation has not been nearly as difficult for me.

  6. #6
    no clinkz 'til brooklyn Nocapszy's Avatar
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    as an extrovert who likes taking advantage of stupid people, i have no problem with the idiotry.

    also, i absolutely do not agree with you. that's not socializing. that's self destruction. the fact that you do it together simply makes it analogous to russian roulette. it's still not socializing.

    most people don't socialize throughout their lives.
    we fukin won boys

  7. #7
    Member Cady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little_Ancient_One View Post
    I absolutely agree with you, "Cady". I've had similar thoughts throughout my life. However, as an introvert, the isolation has not been nearly as difficult for me.
    I would be the happiest INTP alive if I could just get my E to turn into an I
    Sleep late for a better tomorrow.

    Extraverted - 58%
    INtuitive - 73%
    Thinking - 71%
    Perceiving - 66%

  8. #8
    Senior Member avolkiteshvara's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cady View Post
    I would be the happiest INTP alive if I could just get my E to turn into an I
    INTP tend to drink alot.

  9. #9
    Member Cady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by avolkiteshvara View Post
    INTP tend to drink alot.
    Alone or in a group? And if it is in a group is it because of social awkwardness or do they genuinely really enjoy getting really drunk with other people?

    As backwards as it sounds I have much more respect for drinking in excess as a solo activity. At least alone it seems like excessive drinking is more of a method to cope rather than being painted as the be all end all group social activity.
    Sleep late for a better tomorrow.

    Extraverted - 58%
    INtuitive - 73%
    Thinking - 71%
    Perceiving - 66%

  10. #10
    Member Cady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nocap View Post
    as an extrovert who likes taking advantage of stupid people, i have no problem with the idiotry.

    also, i absolutely do not agree with you. that's not socializing. that's self destruction. the fact that you do it together simply makes it analogous to russian roulette. it's still not socializing.

    most people don't socialize throughout their lives.
    At a glance I thought it was self-destructive behavior as well, but these people seem to be genuinely happy, exuberant, and entertained when they drink. It's their activity of choice they fall back to if not night after night, than every weekend.

    I thought I understood drinking as a social facilitator but for many in my circle of friends it's become the only thing worth doing. They view any social scenario where they didn't get absolutely wasted as a failure.
    Sleep late for a better tomorrow.

    Extraverted - 58%
    INtuitive - 73%
    Thinking - 71%
    Perceiving - 66%

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