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  1. #1
    Junior Member Redbud's Avatar
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    Default Questions for INTP Women

    I am looking for examples of how an INTP woman behaves (ultimately to see what I can identify with...) I know there is a range but I wanted to throw some stuff out there and see what was regarded as typical-or not. I have read various threads but these questions keep coming back to haunt me:

    1. Do you attempt to smile and look animated when you talk to others even if it feels fake (because you are trying to look like them or for any other reason)?

    2. Reading material/movies: Sci fi, Fantasy, Action/Adventure, Romance, Mystery/thriller, Horror, Non-fiction?

    3. Justice meter-does injustice set you off? Are you able to act in a manner that you know is unjust?

    4. Computers and Math-were these always your favorite subjects or did you develop competence because it was expected?

    5. Significant other-what were you/are you looking for in a mate and what was the biggest issue or stumbling block (related to your type)?

    6. Children-if you have children do you find that you are an atypical mother? If so-what sets you apart (related to type)?
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  2. #2
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    1. Do you attempt to smile and look animated when you talk to others even if it feels fake (because you are trying to look like them or for any other reason)?
    No. I am naturally animated in speech more often than not. And I smile and laugh talking to friends + acquaintances. What I don't do is walk around with a smile for no reason.
    2. Reading material/movies: Sci fi, Fantasy, Action/Adventure, Romance, Mystery/thriller, Horror, Non-fiction?
    Movies - Action adventure movies are a guilty pleasure of mine. Mystery/thriller movies pretty often. Not huge on sci fi (with few exceptions such as star trek), but I do appreciate stuff that has a sci fi element that doesn't dominate the whole.
    Most common genres according to my netflix account:
    "Critically acclaimed steamy independent"
    "Mind-bending foreign dramas"
    "Dark psychological thrillers"

    Reading: I tend to prefer non-fiction (history/phil/language/economics), but I'm a literature buff so I'll read quality fiction/drama/poetry.

    3. Justice meter-does injustice set you off? Are you able to act in a manner that you know is unjust?
    "Justice" is a knotty concept. I am fair to a fault and unfairness does set me off, yes, even if it is unfairness for a supposed sort of empathy. In the Justice/Mercy toss up, Justice wins.

    4. Computers and Math-were these always your favorite subjects or did you develop competence because it was expected?
    I did/do like math but had no particular interest in comp sci. That said, while i do not consider myself at all a comp tech person, I am usually the most knowledgeable among my also tech-shy friends + family - by a good clip.

    5. Significant other-what were you/are you looking for in a mate and what was the biggest issue or stumbling block (related to your type)?
    ugh . . . may revisit.
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    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
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  3. #3
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    1. Do you attempt to smile and look animated when you talk to others even if it feels fake (because you are trying to look like them or for any other reason)?

    Yes, although it's not really "fake" to me... it's just that I normally don't emote that much emotion by nature. (i.e., the emotions are sincere, the emoting is what is forced.) While I come across as kind and pleasant regardless, what I am doing is unnaturally emoting naturally internalized responses (i.e., juicing it up) so that others can better "see" me, which helps relationally.

    I have one guy friend who last week told me I had a sexy voice sometimes but other times sounded flat and more monotone. That sounds about right... my natural voice arc is flatter, but I usually make myself emote more, just to connect better, and so I present myself inconsistently. Writing is much easier than face-to-face for me, it's less drain.

    I was sick this week and so I had no energy, and I realized how badly "being on" all the time was draining me, I am thoroughly worn out and part of it is the relational emoting I was doing all the time. (Worse, I had people contacting me because I wasn't connecting with them, asking me if they had offended me. Gaaaa....no, it's just me being pooped!)

    2. Reading material/movies: Sci fi, Fantasy, Action/Adventure, Romance, Mystery/thriller, Horror, Non-fiction?
    When i was younger, I read more fiction and watched more fantastic movies. Nowadays I read more non-fiction and watch more dramas. I like just about anything, though. I used to collect comics and have read numerous graphic novels as well. I love psychological/existential horror.

    3. Justice meter-does injustice set you off? Are you able to act in a manner that you know is unjust?

    Yeah, I hate it when people are not fair -- that pisses me off more than when they're not particularly kind, although I don't like mean people much either. I can't act in an unjust way either; if I feel I've been unjust, I have to apologize and make it right somehow, or it will eat at me neurotically. Sometimes I even say things that I know others won't take well, because I feel I need to be fair; and I treat people I don't much like the same as I treat people I do like even if i wish I could be more partial. (But, ultimately, I guess I don't wish that... because I'm fair.)

    End result: regardless of my feelings, it all has to balance.

    4. Computers and Math-were these always your favorite subjects or did you develop competence because it was expected?

    I always had an affinity with computers since I was young, I love them. I feel like we have a bond.

    I was a math major for two years at college; I was always good at it, but realized it was too "cool" a topic to hold my interest long, I like a bit warmer complexity (i.e., the study of human behavior).

    5. Significant other-what were you/are you looking for in a mate and what was the biggest issue or stumbling block (related to your type)?

    Earlier in life the biggest stumbling block were differences in type (NTP vs SFJ) and immaturity on both our parts. I was messed up in many ways and tended to put down emotions and didn't express my commitments well or even know how I felt about people and things, which left them feeling very neglected and unloved.

    I'm much different now, at least in the sense of being able to maintain a relationship... I just want someone who still can handle relational stuff a little better than me so that I don't have it all dumped on my shoulders... I can't carry all the responsibility for emoting, connecting, and whatever else because of my normal detachment.

    6. Children-if you have children do you find that you are an atypical mother? If so-what sets you apart (related to type)?
    I am an atypical mom in a few big ways, I suppose (ha!)... but while I am compassionate/caring, I don't like smothering my children, I'm the sort who will carefully but irresistibly push them out of the nest rather than trying to over-protect, and I will leave them to their own devices sometimes just to see what they will do, as long as overall I don't see any permanent harm coming.

    I also know that teens will act out and it's not always good to control everything or try to always make them be nice/polite in every situation -- I'm always thinking long-term, not short-term.

    I connect less by emoting emotion and more by articulating to them my understanding of them and who they are. My nurturing instincts are also geared towards the abstract qualities (mind and spirit) and less geared towards the physical (body).
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #4
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    1. Do you attempt to smile and look animated when you talk to others even if it feels fake (because you are trying to look like them or for any other reason)?
    In the case that I do smile and look animated when I talk to others, it will not be fake.

    2. Reading material/movies: Sci fi, Fantasy, Action/Adventure, Romance, Mystery/thriller, Horror, Non-fiction?
    I read mostly non-fiction these days, but when I do read fiction, I'm open to any genre, really. As far as movies, I tend to prefer indie films and documentaries. And David Lynch films.

    3. Justice meter-does injustice set you off? Are you able to act in a manner that you know is unjust?
    No, I am generally unable to act unjust on purpose. And it does tend to set me off when I and others are treated unjustly.

    4. Computers and Math-were these always your favorite subjects or did you develop competence because it was expected?
    Computers were a pretty big favorite with me. I went into undergrad intending to study compsci, but I changed to a humanities field. I kind of hated math.

    5. Significant other-what were you/are you looking for in a mate and what was the biggest issue or stumbling block (related to your type)?
    I don't know what I'm looking for. But I do know that showing affection is the biggest roadblock, for me, anyway.

    6. Children-if you have children do you find that you are an atypical mother? If so-what sets you apart (related to type)?
    Keine Kinder!
    Last edited by Orangey; 06-12-2009 at 01:39 AM. Reason: Ridiculous grammatical error.
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  5. #5
    Widdles in your cream.
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    1. Do you attempt to smile and look animated when you talk to others even if it feels fake (because you are trying to look like them or for any other reason)?
    I do this automatically, if I'm around unfamiliar people. I feel this is merely due to being self-conscious and therefore instinctively showing submissive behaviour in order to appear as least threatening as possible. I don't like smiling insincerely at people, but it's an unwritten rule that I have learnt to adapt to.

    2. Reading material/movies: Sci fi, Fantasy, Action/Adventure, Romance, Mystery/thriller, Horror, Non-fiction?
    I prefer non-fiction, such as natural history and other things that interest me. I don't have a genre preference; I bond with authors, like Neil Gaiman (I think thats his name?). I consistently go with fantasy, though. It depends on what I'm in the mood for, really.

    3. Justice meter-does injustice set you off? Are you able to act in a manner that you know is unjust?
    My instinct tells me to raise my voice in situations like this. If the situation is controlled by a figure of authority, I quietly rebel or flat-out refuse to take action. I usually hope this passive-aggressive behaviour will trigger a confrontation, whereby I am obligued to voice my disagreement.

    4. Computers and Math-were these always your favorite subjects or did you develop competence because it was expected?
    I was never good at Math and I didn't particularly enjoy ICT. I excelled in the more theoretical subjects like English Literature and Linguistics.

    5. Significant other-what were you/are you looking for in a mate and what was the biggest issue or stumbling block (related to your type)?
    I don't have a conscious criteria for a partner. I do however, value a sharp wit and a good sense of humour. I'm currently with an ISFJ, and my last few partners have been either SFP or SJ types, so I suppose I subconsciously go for those. When it comes to looking for a mate, I judge them holistically, relishing the good points and accepting the not-so appealing traits as adorable quirks. I think I have a tendency to idealise.

    Bleh. Brain dead from two exams today.
    Um, yeah.

  6. #6
    Senior Member bluebell's Avatar
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    1. Do you attempt to smile and look animated when you talk to others even if it feels fake (because you are trying to look like them or for any other reason)?

    I used to be fairly flat/unaminated but I conciously taught myself how to change tone of voice a few years back. It was stupidly awkward to start with but now it feels somewhat natural. I have to conciously remember to do that though. As soon as I'm distracted or thinking hard, I'm back to unanimated monotone. And if I'm super-excited about something and prattling on, I strongly suspect I'm talking at a 100 miles an hour with no inflection or physical animation.

    2. Reading material/movies: Sci fi, Fantasy, Action/Adventure, Romance, Mystery/thriller, Horror, Non-fiction?

    I don't read much these days due to lack of concentration. In the past, I'd devour any books that were lying around but my preference was always for sci-fi/fantasy, with the occasional murder mystery, humorous comic book, and random drama. When I was reading I'd usually have a non-fiction book on the current obsession going in between the gazillion novels.

    3. Justice meter-does injustice set you off? Are you able to act in a manner that you know is unjust?

    I've inadvertently acted injustly on occasion, but generally try to rectify it as soon as it's brought to my attention. If injustice is directed at me, then I'll probably bite back if it's something that I care about.

    4. Computers and Math-were these always your favorite subjects or did you develop competence because it was expected?

    Never been particularly into computers, but I was a maths nerd from a young age. I did a minor in it at college (nearly enough to get a major). The physical sciences were more my thing.

    5. Significant other-what were you/are you looking for in a mate and what was the biggest issue or stumbling block (related to your type)?

    Er, ask me in a year or two. I don't have clarity yet.

    6. Children-if you have children do you find that you are an atypical mother? If so-what sets you apart (related to type)?

    n/a
    ...so much smoke pouring out of each chromosome.

  7. #7
    Junior Member Redbud's Avatar
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    Thanks for the great responses. I snuck off to the mountains for a few days so I am only just finishing them but there was some interesting stuff in there. I asked those questions because I think that personally those subjects tend to set me apart from other women. I seem to be an INXP and am trying to figure out which is the stronger. Right now it is a little like trying to figure out if a zebra is white with black stripes or black with white stripes.

    I tend to have less expression than other women ("you look sad" is something I get a lot even though I'm really just thinking/daydreaming/bored whatever) and am seen as difficult to read and get to know even when I think I am conveying a lot of emotion. I do attempt to smile in social situations and bump up my vocal inflections. It feels ridiculous to me but it seems to make others feel better. I always wonder if I end up looking like a deer in headlights.

    My reading material is basically anything that gets in front of me. It is all the subjects listed above including drama and romance, humor, mystery, fantasy, westerns, action/thrillers, history, etc. My first loves were sci-fi and mysteries. I read Heinlein's Junior series alongside Nancy Drew. I really don't have patience for most of the classics or for poetry though. I need the writing style to be clear and relevant and hate flowery language. For instance, I enjoyed Treasure Island and Jack London when I was younger but despised Shakespeare. When it came to poetry I enjoyed The Highwayman and Kipling but not much else. I do tend to keep a lot of what I call 'reference' books around for whatever my current project/obsession is.
    Needless to say I own a lot of Myers-Briggs personality books and they are sitting in a stack beside me right now. Movies-anything except horror for it's own sake. I don't get it. But sci/fi horror with a decent suspense/mystery that keeps me wondering what happens next and WHY...that I get.

    Justice meter-it was pointed out to me recently that I have a way of keeping score internally and that I won't violate the balance...example-playing a game with my son and husband I let my son get some extra points to help him out and also smack my husband down a little for being obnoxious (he's an ENTJ-this happens a lot). A little later in the game I had a choice between taking my son's character out or deliberately letting him win. My husband started started laughing (maniacally) because he knew that my son was toast. Unfortunately he was right. I just couldn't violate the balance I had created in my mind despite my son's anger and pleading. Not sure if this is an INTP characteristic or not but it seems to be a core element of my personality.

    Computers and math-I found programming boring back in the day (I had an Apple II-LOL!) and steered away from computers until the software was more sophisticated and user-friendly. Now I often train groups in software use but I still have little interest in the mechanics. Math was fun until Geometry-I ran into a wall, decided I was incompetent in the subject and just stopped trying. Never did really catch up again in regards to higher math. Accounting is often fun though-especially budget/planning/forecasting and analysis/finding problems.

    Significant other-I'm very very choosy. I don't mean this arrogantly-but it takes a combination of power and intelligence to get my attention. I don't care about a physical type or a perfect age-although I suppose that is probably the background of any potential attraction-but I do care about strength of personality. ENFJ's, ENTJ's, ISTJ's and INTJ's seem to be more interesting in that sense to me. Friendship is a whole different subject though-I find most of the types to be interesting there.

    Ok-that's enough about me. Does any of this ring a bell with anyone?
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  8. #8
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Just saying in terms of some things, socialization/life changes occur. I was much more extreme as a teenager, in terms of the justice thing. I was very harsh inside and very concerned about reflecting the "reality" of the situation rather than fudging it just out of social convention or niceties.

    For example:
    Quote Originally Posted by Redbud View Post
    Justice meter-it was pointed out to me recently that I have a way of keeping score internally and that I won't violate the balance...example-playing a game with my son and husband I let my son get some extra points to help him out and also smack my husband down a little for being obnoxious (he's an ENTJ-this happens a lot). A little later in the game I had a choice between taking my son's character out or deliberately letting him win. My husband started started laughing (maniacally) because he knew that my son was toast. Unfortunately he was right. I just couldn't violate the balance I had created in my mind despite my son's anger and pleading. Not sure if this is an INTP characteristic or not but it seems to be a core element of my personality.
    For many years I could not let my child(ren) win games just to make them feel good. To me, it was lying -- it made them look better than they were (to my mind) and me look worse than I was. I wanted them to earn it and feel proud of earning it. I'm not sure exactly why I changed; I guess I just shifted my thinking to viewing the game as a way to nurture/encourage my children and viewing it in terms of what would best help them get better and be motivated to continue... rather than as it having to be a an accurate "reflection of reality" the way I had been.

    I know what you mean about balance. If I upend things at one place, I tend to try to balance them out later. It's pretty disconcerting to allow the system to spiral into instability or tilt too far to one side.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  9. #9
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    What Ina said. (I should just go ahead and make that my sig).

    'cept I'm a (disinterested) techie. Not an action movie fan. Big fan of mercy tho.

    Quote Originally Posted by Redbud View Post
    I seem to be an INXP and am trying to figure out which is the stronger.

    I tend to have less expression than other women ("you look sad" is something I get a lot even though I'm really just thinking/daydreaming/bored whatever) and am seen as difficult to read and get to know even when I think I am conveying a lot of emotion. I do attempt to smile in social situations and bump up my vocal inflections. It feels ridiculous to me but it seems to make others feel better.
    I can't maintain that sort of self-conscious agreeableness for long and don't really believe in faking my body language. It is what it is and usually reflects how I feel. Although my default expression is pretty much abstracted/misery, I'm told my face is very expressive when I'm engaged. I'm not easy to get to know either. Mostly because I rarely talk to anyone.

    ...despised Shakespeare.
    ...
    When it came to poetry I enjoyed The Highwayman and Kipling but not much else.

    Justice meter-it was pointed out to me recently that I have a way of keeping score internally and that I won't violate the balance...example-playing a game with my son and husband I let my son get some extra points to help him out and also smack my husband down a little for being obnoxious (he's an ENTJ-this happens a lot). A little later in the game I had a choice between taking my son's character out or deliberately letting him win. My husband started started laughing (maniacally) because he knew that my son was toast. Unfortunately he was right. I just couldn't violate the balance I had created in my mind despite my son's anger and pleading. Not sure if this is an INTP characteristic or not but it seems to be a core element of my personality.
    Sounds more IxTJish.

    I'm all for evening scores, but only in matters that count.

    Accounting is often fun


    Does any of this ring a bell with anyone?
    ...not so much.

    There's a group. Also a site where you might gain more insight either way.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  10. #10
    Self sustaining supernova Zoom's Avatar
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    1. Do you attempt to smile and look animated when you talk to others even if it feels fake (because you are trying to look like them or for any other reason)?

    It doesn't feel fake, and yes, I do have to remind myself to do so. Primarily if I am in a thoughtful, introspective mood. When I do feel something (which is often enough), I am supposedly extremely expressive with my face, and convey a lot of complicated things through expression in the eyes, mouth, everything.

    2. Reading material/movies: Sci fi, Fantasy, Action/Adventure, Romance, Mystery/thriller, Horror, Non-fiction?

    Reading: fantasy, sci-fi a bit, action and adventure when it involves a spunky heroine, romance only in the fact that it is part of another genre (like a fantasy-action novel that has a romance in it).

    Movies: All over the map, except that I don't like bad horror movies and stupid females onscreen (which means the majority of romance movies are out...). I can be moved by or enjoy whatever clicks with me.

    3. Justice meter-does injustice set you off? Are you able to act in a manner that you know is unjust?

    Yes, it does, but the only time I act is if I think I would help the situation. Or if someone is being targeted who cannot properly defend themselves or is not being properly represented. I can act in a way that is unjust if it is in self-defense and is absolutely necessary, but only then.

    4. Computers and Math-were these always your favorite subjects or did you develop competence because it was expected?

    I love utilizing computers and learning about them, but do not wish to work with them for a job (i.e., computer engineer). I am good at math and hate it once you get into Calculus.

    5. Significant other-what were you/are you looking for in a mate and what was the biggest issue or stumbling block (related to your type)?

    I am not answering this only because it is a very sensitive subject right now and I don't want to think about it. Apologies.

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