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  1. #1
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    Default ENTPs and debating with SOs

    Do you guys think it's healthy to seek out a SO with whom one constantly debates? Or is argumentation and one-upmanship better left for friends, with relationships being -fests?

    I obviously want someone who loves my mind like I do, but it seems odd that someone could respect me intellectually and not want to debate. Like, "Awesome sword, but no, I don't want to fence." But then the types that ENTPs work best with tend to be very anti-conflict. So it's a bit of a catch-22.

    What thinks you?

  2. #2

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    Moderation is the key. I think mature ENTPs will learn to value a time for harmony, support, and even *gasp* compromise.

    A mature INFJ will be less threatened by having their ideas challenged, will not panic that discord will dissolve into relationship failure, and thus compromise as well.

    As for other match-ups with ENTPs, I'm sure it's something along similar lines.
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  3. #3
    morose bourgeoisie
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmandahalf View Post
    Do you guys think it's healthy to seek out a SO with whom one constantly debates? Or is argumentation and one-upmanship better left for friends, with relationships being -fests?

    I obviously want someone who loves my mind like I do, but it seems odd that someone could respect me intellectually and not want to debate. Like, "Awesome sword, but no, I don't want to fence." But then the types that ENTPs work best with tend to be very anti-conflict. So it's a bit of a catch-22.

    What thinks you?
    I think your penchant for debate could have dire consequences on a romantic relationship. There are exceptions, but I would try to limit that tendency until you're sure it will work...

  4. #4
    Senior Thread Terminator Aerithria's Avatar
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    If both people in the relationship enjoy debating, then unless it turns serious or becomes all the relationship is based on, I don't see why it'd be unhealthy. That type of intellectual banter is what tends to make me pay attention to a particular person in the first place. As long as there's genuine caring underlying it, I think it's a fun and interesting way to relate to your SO. Of course, so long as your SO understands that you're not attacking them or breeding conflict just for the hell of it.

    For an example of what I'm talking about, consider the Dr. Cox/Jordan relationship from Scrubs.
    [insert funny quote/saying/etc.]

  5. #5
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmandahalf View Post
    Do you guys think it's healthy to seek out a SO with whom one constantly debates? Or is argumentation and one-upmanship better left for friends, with relationships being -fests?

    I obviously want someone who loves my mind like I do, but it seems odd that someone could respect me intellectually and not want to debate. Like, "Awesome sword, but no, I don't want to fence." But then the types that ENTPs work best with tend to be very anti-conflict. So it's a bit of a catch-22.

    What thinks you?
    I am also like this. I simply don't see the point in pure harmony.
    My favorite/natural style of communication is a debate so I have been accused plenty of times that I turn everything into conflict.

    I trully don't see why "debating" relationship would not be a healthy relationship.


    Bacause of this I think that ENTPs are probably my best bet when it comes to romance.

  6. #6
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    it is...thats like the only thing that motivates me for long term relationships...a smarty pants

    but you do need to know when to stop...no, the word, i think, is concur

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    Bacause of this I think that ENTPs are probably my best bet when it comes to romance.
    Well, natch, we're the best...

    In my experience, though, INTJ/ENTP can be in danger of being too cold and analytical. In my case, it almost turned into us interacting with the idea of "our relationship" rather than actually having one. Which is why my new pet theory is that there needs to be an F in there somewhere.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by marmandahalf View Post
    Well, natch, we're the best...

    In my experience, though, INTJ/ENTP can be in danger of being too cold and analytical. In my case, it almost turned into us interacting with the idea of "our relationship" rather than actually having one. Which is why my new pet theory is that there needs to be an F in there somewhere.
    I've seen this echoed by INTJs and ENTPs on the forum that have tried this pairing out.
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  9. #9
    Member Cady's Avatar
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    I think I'd want a SO who I could discuss with rather than debate. Debate for me usually happens when someone has already chosen a side, they're definitely fun but they lead to a lot more butting of heads and people getting too worked up about their side can strangle exploration of the thesis.
    Sleep late for a better tomorrow.

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  10. #10
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmandahalf View Post
    Well, natch, we're the best...

    In my experience, though, INTJ/ENTP can be in danger of being too cold and analytical. In my case, it almost turned into us interacting with the idea of "our relationship" rather than actually having one. Which is why my new pet theory is that there needs to be an F in there somewhere.

    Well, dont overlook the fact that "too cold" is something very relative.
    But I am am aware that this could a problem if you have a two NTs.
    So ENTP that is showing some ENFP traits is on what I was aiming on in my claim. Since it would be desirable that someone in that relationship actually feels something.
    But you will still have E/I P/J difference to make things more interesting.

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