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[INTP] Question for INTP females..

Eiddy

Pronounced eye-ee-dee
Joined
Apr 20, 2009
Messages
757
MBTI Type
DEAD
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1w2
I was just thinking that.. It's more of a flaw to get emotional about things (clothes, books etc) which really shouldn't have control over another's actions/reactions.

Bedroom doors are a wonderous things.. LOL

BTW.. in a soft sweet tone.. "Will she ever outgrow it?"

I have to tell you though, she can cook and bake like nobody's business. (Donuts, pancakes, rice, casseroles and she seems to like it. etc.) I on the other hand won't go near a kitchen.. I would rather walk down the block to buy something precooked. LOL
 

groovejet02

New member
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Jan 9, 2009
Messages
199
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INTP
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5
BTW.. in a soft sweet tone.. "Will she ever outgrow it?"

She'll most probably learn to organize her stuff better - this would depend on maturity level and how strict you are with her (the key is to be assertive but not patronizing. People love to patronize me about my mess and try to make it a personal attack -- this just makes me more stubborn about not wanting to tidy up). But will she completely outgrow it? No! Look at the bright side of the P function -- it gives her wit and spontaneity, and a less inclination to be judgmental :)
 

Eiddy

Pronounced eye-ee-dee
Joined
Apr 20, 2009
Messages
757
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DEAD
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1w2
Look at the bright side of the P function -- it gives her wit and spontaneity, and a less inclination to be judgmental :)

So true, I am too impatient to wait for anyone or anything. She is usually ready to go in 5 seconds flat..

I can definitely identify with that pushing things, pushing usually begets resistance, which reminds me resistance is futile. So I work into her good graces with you do this and I'll do this.. It seems to work out pretty well. Give and take relationships seem to be much more healthy anyhow. :yes:

I enjoy talking to INTP's, which makes me wonder... Do you find it easier to communicate with others on here (or the internet in general) rather than communicating face to face??
 

Popsicle

New member
Joined
Dec 19, 2008
Messages
176
MBTI Type
INFJ
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9w1
I enjoy talking to INTP's, which makes me wonder... Do you find it easier to communicate with others on here (or the internet in general) rather than communicating face to face??

Everyone enjoys talking to INTPs. :D

Seriously, for me it really depends on the person. In general, it is probably easier for me to communicate online in some ways, especially about things of a personal nature.

However, there are a few people with whom I find I feel totally comfortable and with them, I prefer communicating face to face. Strangely enough, it is not always with the types I'd expect. Two of my closest girlfriends are ESFJ and we can talk about anything. I also have male friends who are ISFJ and INTP and we are the same way. I just sometimes feel a bond with someone...and it seems unrelated to type.
 

Eiddy

Pronounced eye-ee-dee
Joined
Apr 20, 2009
Messages
757
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DEAD
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1w2
That is really nice to know.. Your friendship crosses over those boundaries it seems we tend to fall into when we start to categorize ourselves into MBTI types.

I try to get the know the person first than take an assessment of personality later.. Handwriting analysis is very interesting, because even if you have the same personality of another, handwriting rarely matches up with another. The truly distinct characteristics really come out then. *makes note to test my babydoll's handwriting*

Thanks for the warm and friendly chat.. :hugs:
 

Tallulah

Emerging
Joined
Feb 19, 2008
Messages
6,009
MBTI Type
INTP
To the OP, nah, I don't think there's anything in facial recognition, ala Socionics. But I can very often sight-type people based upon expression or the vibe they're giving off, especially if I can observe them interacting with people.

You sound like a good mom for an INTP. :smile: We aren't easy to raise in some respects, but in others, we're easier than other kids. At least you won't have to deal with teenage histrionics that often. I wouldn't look at the mess as a fault, so much. Just make her aware that when she lives with others, she has to take them into account and not leave her stuff all over the place. My mom always made me help clean the common areas of the house, help with laundry and dishes, etc. She hated how messy my room was, but she mostly left me alone about it--just had to clean it a couple of times a year. I was glad that she made me aware of that stuff, though, because I probably would have been perfectly happy to just let her worry about it. She'll probably never grow out of being messy, though. We're just not very aware of our external surroundings. We can just tune them out.

The other thing to keep in mind about an INTP teen--if you tell us to do something or not to do something, we usually want to know why. If it makes sense to us, we don't have much problem following the rules. The "because I said so" tactic doesn't go over so well. :p
 

Eiddy

Pronounced eye-ee-dee
Joined
Apr 20, 2009
Messages
757
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:hi: Tallulah,

Thanks for the compliment.. She is a sweet girl, knows what she likes and I let her usually have her way. (If I can do the same for the others) For example, money, ok if I give her a few pounds, of course it has to go the same for the others.

If I cannot let her have her way.. Going to a friend's house, that I hardly know. I will let her know why and call into account the last time she went and ended up someplace else (another friend's house) without letting me know. Grrr So I just wait for her to mature some more before letting her go back to a friend's house etc..

I don't ask questions of those close to me, I know them already.. I tend to think of a hoola hoop around me, whatever is inside that hoop I can control, whatever is outside that hoop I don't really need to control. As long as it isn't detrimental to the health or safety of those under my care.

Well this seems more like a rant. LOL

Have a good night princesses of the world..
 

Spartacuss

wholly charmed
Joined
Apr 27, 2008
Messages
677
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
I can definitely identify with that pushing things, pushing usually begets resistance, which reminds me resistance is futile. So I work into her good graces with you do this and I'll do this.. It seems to work out pretty well. Give and take relationships seem to be much more healthy anyhow. :yes:

Congratulations! You've learned what it took my ISF mother years to learn and what finally put an end to our butting heads.

On the messiness: I have not changed much since childhood in this respect. Still have cycles of being messy followed by being very orderly and back again. The drive to organize by place did not come from my mom but came when I realized what a great way of de-stressing it is. Unfortunately, you can't teach the psychic relief so she'd have to want to herself.

I enjoy talking to INTP's, which makes me wonder... Do you find it easier to communicate with others on here (or the internet in general) rather than communicating face to face??
Depends on who it is. With people I like and communicate with easily, face to face. With others, the more distance the better. If it's written, as on the web or e-mail, I am forced to make the language clearer and more comprehensible to avoid confusion.
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,192
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BELF
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594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
LOL. I didn't. That's cos ... I don't see being messy as a character flaw :D

It's not. ;) It's just being "pragmatically organized."

I used to get really upset with J people who felt the need to clean up my "messes" if they were just in my private areas (and thus not infringing on anyone else). Often I actually had a sense of where everything was, based on their spatial relationships to other items, and as soon as someone moved it all or stacked it up somewhere, I had no idea where to find anything. Arrg! :steam:

I enjoy talking to INTP's, which makes me wonder... Do you find it easier to communicate with others on here (or the internet in general) rather than communicating face to face??

I actually like face-to-face now, it's more of a "total person" experience.

However, when younger and when I felt socially inept and not able to be myself, I prefered written communication.

Not only does it just tend to focus on ideas (so there is less need for small talk), and I didn't have to worry about how I sound or look or anything else, but also I have a lot of control over the communication. I can reply when I want, I can read the responses when I want, I can come and go as I want without any sort of social discomfort. I intuit INTPs (and some other sorts) appreciate that level of independence over the communication.

Face-to-Face does tire me out, though; written communication usually just gives me energy, if anything.
 

groovejet02

New member
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Jan 9, 2009
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199
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Eiddy said:
I enjoy talking to INTP's, which makes me wonder... Do you find it easier to communicate with others on here (or the internet in general) rather than communicating face to face??

Yes, but I'm becoming better and better at communicating in real life. Actually my communication online and my communication in real life differs in what topics I talk about and how express them. Online, I get to be more analytical, long-winded and navel-gazing and I get to talk about "heavy subjects", but offline I do more listening. People say I'm a good listener and that they love my opinions :D

That said, I'm this way with a select few people I'm close with (or when I go to a party and I note in my mind that I want to get to know certain people.) INTPs are very private. They won't let just anyone know their thoughts, so some people might think I'm dull and/or a snob, or they don't notice I'm in the room in the first place :huh:

Eiddy said:
I don't ask questions of those close to me, I know them already.. I tend to think of a hoola hoop around me, whatever is inside that hoop I can control, whatever is outside that hoop I don't really need to control.

That's great. As much as I love my mom, she is domineering and I don't feel secure around her. Information is power, and giving information to people who don't know how to handle it gives reason for them to dominate you. My mom complains to others that I don't tell her about my life, and sometimes without saying, I can see the hurt and curiosity of not knowing what I do ("who are your friends?", "what book are you reading?" "really, you went out this afternoon? - to where and what did you there?" - I know she wants to know all these). I second Tallulah - I think you're a good mother to your INTP. You don't attempt to control her, you're reasonable (you actually explain why you have certain rules - my parents simply said "Because we say so" or "We have to save face"), and you work around her weaknesses rather than punishing her for them. Keep up the good work :D
 

PeaceBaby

reborn
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Jan 7, 2009
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How can you all be so sure of your child's "type" when they are still so young? I didn't feel confident about confirming my own children's type until they were closer to 17, 18 years old. And given the number of adults who question their "type", is it wise to attach labels to ones so young?

I am glad (in a way) I didn't know about type until I was an adult. Granted, I felt more alone in my little world before I learned about temperaments. But I am always concerned when I read some of the younger member's posts here, attributing some problem to the fact they are INFP, or that a friend is difficult because they ENTJ, or they wish they were an NT, or when they are trying to play match-maker via MBTI. Maturing is a process, and some of the issues here that end up blamed on type are much more about that process of simply growing up.

Now, don't get me wrong; I see value in MBTI and obviously I am here on the board. :)

And I realize my post is a slight diversion from the intention of the thread, but I am curious - do you have any concerns attaching the MBTI label so definitively and so early in a child's life? I thought about what type my children were, and how I could more effectively parent with that knowledge, but never verbalized it to them. Do your kids "know" their type at age 11? Do you talk about it? Or is this just something you keep to yourself?

(And in the spirit of and in response to the OP, I believe body types / facial characteristics attributable to type is a load of hooey. If anything, eyes and expressions speak to type for me. But that's all.)
 

Eiddy

Pronounced eye-ee-dee
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LOL Peacebaby, I never could get type just from a picture I have tried that over at the other place and end up wrong about 90% of the time.

As for decoding or attributing MBTI to my daughter who's 11. I don't talk to her about it or judge her based off of it. It is just like a tool used when I don't understand something. Why isn't she talkative? Why is she so shy? Why can't I get her to keep her room clean? Now I don't need to know. I feel better knowing that she is maturing in the most suitable way for her and I don't feel the need to push her to be more socially active when I take her out.

I have to tell you we do need to see and use information for other situations also. I have a 15 year old son, who will be 16 in a month. Well when he was little I felt like the worst parent. I seen all those happy kids, boucing cuddly babies, and I wondered why mine was throwing temper tantrums and not developing like other kids. I felt I had to be better and try harder.. This lasted a few years..

Until my daughter, the one we are talking about, was born. When she was little, she was doing things that my older one couldn't do. For instance, tie her shoes at 4, my older one was 8 and still couldn't and didn't want to tie his shoes. Developmental milestones doctors call these, to measure the ability of the child.

When my oldest son was still a baby, doctors told me I needed to bring him in for physical therepy and gave me a huge ball to do special exercises with him, also that he would need speech therapy. Why? They said his fine motor skills were not progressing as they had expected. He (my son) was under 1 year of age at that time. He seemed like a normal baby and didn't have any physical deformaties etc..

It wasn't until he was around 8, when I started to notice that "first" it wasn't my fault and that he had A.D.D. thankfully without the hyperactivity. (His father had it, I never knew it.) I had him tested here at a university along with IQ tests etc. and a school for special needs school enrolled him, changes took place -big changes- so that I knew having him tested was the best thing I could have done for him and myself (my expectations) and I could lay off of him for not being able to do certain things. Like remember a shopping list of 4 items, prices and have the change totalled up quickly and correctly.

My younger kids are able to do that since they were 8 or so. He still has problems doing that at 15. I don't get upset anymore. I CAN understand. I can write the items he needs to get and I can expect for him to bring me the receipt. At school and at home we work with him, but I no longer expect him to do better than his younger siblings.

So having a child tested, as doctors have done with my son, when he was young and still in diapers; were to measure the development of the child. Of course personality tests no where near that age and they aren't a requirement. There are certain things to be expected and certain other things we learn to "accept". It is not classified -good or bad- it is to understand a child, knowing what to expect and learning to deal with it.

So my daughter doesn't tidy her room, big deal; I close the door. She practically hides behind me in social situations; I take her someplace where she isn't expected to deal with lots of strangers or I let her take her time in getting to know them first. She learns differently than I do. So I don't expect her to sit and study the way I would study. I let one of her brothers sit and bounce thoughts and ideas back and forth. (repetitive information recall) things that can help her be her best and not my idea of what is best.

I heard it once said, "A wise manager knows how to delegate tasks efficiently". Meaning give the responsiblities to the one who is able and/or willing to handle it. :newwink:

Well I'm off for the day. I have writing projects to still correct. Reports for students to finish up, a short school magazine to create and a seminar that needs to be completed. I have two weeks to complete most of this, but I don't want it sitting on my shoulders until then. Chat with everyone later..

Oh, let me know if it still bothers you about typing up a child's personality and just for your information. I haven't done my 15 year old's personality type, since I cannot be sure how accurate it would be for a child with special needs or dis-abilities.. Can one type up a personality test for a child with special needs? Other testing requirements are more important. All we can do is learn to accept and love their special and unique characters.
 

PeaceBaby

reborn
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Thanks Eiddy for your reply. :)

It sounds like you have a great family, and they're lucky to have such a conscientious, understanding mom!

Well I'm off for the day. I have writing projects to still correct. Reports for students to finish up, a short school magazine to create and a seminar that needs to be completed. I have two weeks to complete most of this, but I don't want it sitting on my shoulders until then.

You SJ you! ;)

Oh, let me know if it still bothers you about typing up a child's personality and just for your information.

I wouldn't say it bothers me - that's way too strong. I was surprised more than anything. I thought about this topic a bit more last night; when it comes to kids, I think I feel more comfortable looking at temperaments rather a 4 letter code.
 

Popsicle

New member
Joined
Dec 19, 2008
Messages
176
MBTI Type
INFJ
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9w1
How can you all be so sure of your child's "type" when they are still so young? I didn't feel confident about confirming my own children's type until they were closer to 17, 18 years old. And given the number of adults who question their "type", is it wise to attach labels to ones so young?

I am glad (in a way) I didn't know about type until I was an adult. Granted, I felt more alone in my little world before I learned about temperaments. But I am always concerned when I read some of the younger member's posts here, attributing some problem to the fact they are INFP, or that a friend is difficult because they ENTJ, or they wish they were an NT, or when they are trying to play match-maker via MBTI. Maturing is a process, and some of the issues here that end up blamed on type are much more about that process of simply growing up.

Now, don't get me wrong; I see value in MBTI and obviously I am here on the board. :)

And I realize my post is a slight diversion from the intention of the thread, but I am curious - do you have any concerns attaching the MBTI label so definitively and so early in a child's life? I thought about what type my children were, and how I could more effectively parent with that knowledge, but never verbalized it to them. Do your kids "know" their type at age 11? Do you talk about it? Or is this just something you keep to yourself?

(And in the spirit of and in response to the OP, I believe body types / facial characteristics attributable to type is a load of hooey. If anything, eyes and expressions speak to type for me. But that's all.)


My children, 12 and 14, are INFP and ENTJ, respectively. Their school actually tests all the children in the gifted program. The school test, which was specially adapted for teens, only tests for temperament.

However, it is painfully obvious to me that my daugher is introverted and my son is extroverted. The P and J were less obvious to me, but I am pretty comfortable with how they fit those type....though as they are both very young, it is entirely possible they may well be INFJ and/or ENTP.

I don't discuss type with them as I don't want either of them to feel that they are "supposed" to act a certain way or that their type gives them license to indulge in any type of behavior. It does, however, help me in understanding where each of them are coming from.
 
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