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  1. #31
    Senior Member groovejet02's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eiddy

    I enjoy talking to INTP's, which makes me wonder... Do you find it easier to communicate with others on here (or the internet in general) rather than communicating face to face??
    Yes, but I'm becoming better and better at communicating in real life. Actually my communication online and my communication in real life differs in what topics I talk about and how express them. Online, I get to be more analytical, long-winded and navel-gazing and I get to talk about "heavy subjects", but offline I do more listening. People say I'm a good listener and that they love my opinions

    That said, I'm this way with a select few people I'm close with (or when I go to a party and I note in my mind that I want to get to know certain people.) INTPs are very private. They won't let just anyone know their thoughts, so some people might think I'm dull and/or a snob, or they don't notice I'm in the room in the first place

    Quote Originally Posted by Eiddy
    I don't ask questions of those close to me, I know them already.. I tend to think of a hoola hoop around me, whatever is inside that hoop I can control, whatever is outside that hoop I don't really need to control.
    That's great. As much as I love my mom, she is domineering and I don't feel secure around her. Information is power, and giving information to people who don't know how to handle it gives reason for them to dominate you. My mom complains to others that I don't tell her about my life, and sometimes without saying, I can see the hurt and curiosity of not knowing what I do ("who are your friends?", "what book are you reading?" "really, you went out this afternoon? - to where and what did you there?" - I know she wants to know all these). I second Tallulah - I think you're a good mother to your INTP. You don't attempt to control her, you're reasonable (you actually explain why you have certain rules - my parents simply said "Because we say so" or "We have to save face"), and you work around her weaknesses rather than punishing her for them. Keep up the good work

  2. #32
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    How can you all be so sure of your child's "type" when they are still so young? I didn't feel confident about confirming my own children's type until they were closer to 17, 18 years old. And given the number of adults who question their "type", is it wise to attach labels to ones so young?

    I am glad (in a way) I didn't know about type until I was an adult. Granted, I felt more alone in my little world before I learned about temperaments. But I am always concerned when I read some of the younger member's posts here, attributing some problem to the fact they are INFP, or that a friend is difficult because they ENTJ, or they wish they were an NT, or when they are trying to play match-maker via MBTI. Maturing is a process, and some of the issues here that end up blamed on type are much more about that process of simply growing up.

    Now, don't get me wrong; I see value in MBTI and obviously I am here on the board.

    And I realize my post is a slight diversion from the intention of the thread, but I am curious - do you have any concerns attaching the MBTI label so definitively and so early in a child's life? I thought about what type my children were, and how I could more effectively parent with that knowledge, but never verbalized it to them. Do your kids "know" their type at age 11? Do you talk about it? Or is this just something you keep to yourself?

    (And in the spirit of and in response to the OP, I believe body types / facial characteristics attributable to type is a load of hooey. If anything, eyes and expressions speak to type for me. But that's all.)

  3. #33
    Pronounced eye-ee-dee Eiddy's Avatar
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    LOL Peacebaby, I never could get type just from a picture I have tried that over at the other place and end up wrong about 90% of the time.

    As for decoding or attributing MBTI to my daughter who's 11. I don't talk to her about it or judge her based off of it. It is just like a tool used when I don't understand something. Why isn't she talkative? Why is she so shy? Why can't I get her to keep her room clean? Now I don't need to know. I feel better knowing that she is maturing in the most suitable way for her and I don't feel the need to push her to be more socially active when I take her out.

    I have to tell you we do need to see and use information for other situations also. I have a 15 year old son, who will be 16 in a month. Well when he was little I felt like the worst parent. I seen all those happy kids, boucing cuddly babies, and I wondered why mine was throwing temper tantrums and not developing like other kids. I felt I had to be better and try harder.. This lasted a few years..

    Until my daughter, the one we are talking about, was born. When she was little, she was doing things that my older one couldn't do. For instance, tie her shoes at 4, my older one was 8 and still couldn't and didn't want to tie his shoes. Developmental milestones doctors call these, to measure the ability of the child.

    When my oldest son was still a baby, doctors told me I needed to bring him in for physical therepy and gave me a huge ball to do special exercises with him, also that he would need speech therapy. Why? They said his fine motor skills were not progressing as they had expected. He (my son) was under 1 year of age at that time. He seemed like a normal baby and didn't have any physical deformaties etc..

    It wasn't until he was around 8, when I started to notice that "first" it wasn't my fault and that he had A.D.D. thankfully without the hyperactivity. (His father had it, I never knew it.) I had him tested here at a university along with IQ tests etc. and a school for special needs school enrolled him, changes took place -big changes- so that I knew having him tested was the best thing I could have done for him and myself (my expectations) and I could lay off of him for not being able to do certain things. Like remember a shopping list of 4 items, prices and have the change totalled up quickly and correctly.

    My younger kids are able to do that since they were 8 or so. He still has problems doing that at 15. I don't get upset anymore. I CAN understand. I can write the items he needs to get and I can expect for him to bring me the receipt. At school and at home we work with him, but I no longer expect him to do better than his younger siblings.

    So having a child tested, as doctors have done with my son, when he was young and still in diapers; were to measure the development of the child. Of course personality tests no where near that age and they aren't a requirement. There are certain things to be expected and certain other things we learn to "accept". It is not classified -good or bad- it is to understand a child, knowing what to expect and learning to deal with it.

    So my daughter doesn't tidy her room, big deal; I close the door. She practically hides behind me in social situations; I take her someplace where she isn't expected to deal with lots of strangers or I let her take her time in getting to know them first. She learns differently than I do. So I don't expect her to sit and study the way I would study. I let one of her brothers sit and bounce thoughts and ideas back and forth. (repetitive information recall) things that can help her be her best and not my idea of what is best.

    I heard it once said, "A wise manager knows how to delegate tasks efficiently". Meaning give the responsiblities to the one who is able and/or willing to handle it.

    Well I'm off for the day. I have writing projects to still correct. Reports for students to finish up, a short school magazine to create and a seminar that needs to be completed. I have two weeks to complete most of this, but I don't want it sitting on my shoulders until then. Chat with everyone later..

    Oh, let me know if it still bothers you about typing up a child's personality and just for your information. I haven't done my 15 year old's personality type, since I cannot be sure how accurate it would be for a child with special needs or dis-abilities.. Can one type up a personality test for a child with special needs? Other testing requirements are more important. All we can do is learn to accept and love their special and unique characters.
    Johari / Nohari

    Enneagram 1w2/Lifepath 1/first zodiac sign Aries/first Chinese zodiac sign RAT/first born in my siblings of 3. Did I forget to mention first?

    Independent Director

  4. #34
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Thanks Eiddy for your reply.

    It sounds like you have a great family, and they're lucky to have such a conscientious, understanding mom!

    Quote Originally Posted by Eiddy View Post
    Well I'm off for the day. I have writing projects to still correct. Reports for students to finish up, a short school magazine to create and a seminar that needs to be completed. I have two weeks to complete most of this, but I don't want it sitting on my shoulders until then.
    You SJ you!

    Quote Originally Posted by Eiddy View Post
    Oh, let me know if it still bothers you about typing up a child's personality and just for your information.
    I wouldn't say it bothers me - that's way too strong. I was surprised more than anything. I thought about this topic a bit more last night; when it comes to kids, I think I feel more comfortable looking at temperaments rather a 4 letter code.

  5. #35
    Senior Member Popsicle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    How can you all be so sure of your child's "type" when they are still so young? I didn't feel confident about confirming my own children's type until they were closer to 17, 18 years old. And given the number of adults who question their "type", is it wise to attach labels to ones so young?

    I am glad (in a way) I didn't know about type until I was an adult. Granted, I felt more alone in my little world before I learned about temperaments. But I am always concerned when I read some of the younger member's posts here, attributing some problem to the fact they are INFP, or that a friend is difficult because they ENTJ, or they wish they were an NT, or when they are trying to play match-maker via MBTI. Maturing is a process, and some of the issues here that end up blamed on type are much more about that process of simply growing up.

    Now, don't get me wrong; I see value in MBTI and obviously I am here on the board.

    And I realize my post is a slight diversion from the intention of the thread, but I am curious - do you have any concerns attaching the MBTI label so definitively and so early in a child's life? I thought about what type my children were, and how I could more effectively parent with that knowledge, but never verbalized it to them. Do your kids "know" their type at age 11? Do you talk about it? Or is this just something you keep to yourself?

    (And in the spirit of and in response to the OP, I believe body types / facial characteristics attributable to type is a load of hooey. If anything, eyes and expressions speak to type for me. But that's all.)

    My children, 12 and 14, are INFP and ENTJ, respectively. Their school actually tests all the children in the gifted program. The school test, which was specially adapted for teens, only tests for temperament.

    However, it is painfully obvious to me that my daugher is introverted and my son is extroverted. The P and J were less obvious to me, but I am pretty comfortable with how they fit those type....though as they are both very young, it is entirely possible they may well be INFJ and/or ENTP.

    I don't discuss type with them as I don't want either of them to feel that they are "supposed" to act a certain way or that their type gives them license to indulge in any type of behavior. It does, however, help me in understanding where each of them are coming from.

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