This got brought up on another thread but I wanted to dig a little deeper to try and understand the root of the problem. I have really pissed off thinkers in the past unintentionally by making assumptions and presumptions about how they feel internally. It totally took me by suprise and I felt terrible as it was unintentional. I would like to understand exactly how and what it is that feelers are doing that provokes this response. I think it may be something inherent that we do instinctually, but in order to not do it, I have to understand it.
Her's a few quotes and some questions I was using to try and tease apart where the breakdown/miscommunication is occuring.
Originally Posted by jenocyde
I think there's a tendency for some people to project their feelings onto me because that's what they would feel if they were in my shoes. And when I assert that I do not feel that way at all, I am told that I am in denial or out of touch with my emotions.
Originally Posted by digesthisickness
bingo. or covering up/lying.
Originally Posted by Edge
yes, to me it seems like they are inventing my emotions and prosecuting me for them.the type to understand you the best has got to be your own.
1) do you guys think you may be showing physiological signs of an emotional response but be unaware you are doing so? Ie you dont know what you are feeling exactly? So the NF picks it up subtle cues, tries to describe it, then screws up as you guys are still not even aware of exactly what is going on yourselves? (Just a Q I really have no idea, so no offense please)
2) Is it this mistaken perception, or the following persecution that is most offensive? (persecution?? what is that exactly, as thats a crazy strong word, and I hope I'd never do that)
3) Or is that maybe they saw and tried to describe what you were projecting outwards before you had a chance to understand it yourself? And thus it is the presumption that they understand that is so offensive, when you do not understand quite yet.
4) does it bother you more that they try and descibe your thoughts, your feelings, or your motivations?
5) Do you find this gets used as tool against you when in conflict with an NF? And then you are assigned feelings, motivations and such which are incorrect. (and on that note, potentially later, after analysis, could some of it have been correct?)
6) is part of the offense that someone would even try and understand your emotions? Ie its none of our business in the first place?
Again I have no idea, so no offense please, just trying to scope out the problem better