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  1. #21
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    A common NF misconception is that when we appear defensive, we must be annoyed or agitated.

    But this is far from the truth.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  2. #22
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    A common NF misconception is that when we appear defensive, we must be annoyed or agitated.

    But this is far from the truth.
    Na, only annoyed that I asked, maybe; or startled wondering why the hell I asked.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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  3. #23
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Na, only annoyed that I asked, maybe; or startled wondering why the hell I asked.
    For some NT's, it may be so. But in my case, when I am annoyed or agitated. I just retreat. You won't know I'm there. I won't exist on your radar.

    If I am defensive or responsive in any way, I am neither annoyed or agitated. But actually pepped up, curious. And quite happy!

    (Unless it's at work, where I can't always just retreat from agitation. But even then, I will keep the conversation as short as possible without further fracturing relations.)
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  4. #24
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    For some NT's, it may be so. But in my case, when I am annoyed or agitated. I just retreat. You won't know I'm there. I won't exist on your radar.
    If I'm annoyed, I tell people in no uncertain terms. I tell them what I'm annoyed with and why, and try to bat around ideas as to how to avoid it in the future. Then you find that people who go on about wanting people to be honest with them, actually don't.

    If I am defensive or responsive in any way, I am neither annoyed or agitated. But actually pepped up, curious. And quite happy!
    Word. To my ENFP brother, raised voices means "oh no! people are getting upset! quick, calm them down! I won't talk with you unless you stop yelling at me!"

    To me it means "aha! things are getting interesting at last!" and "no, this is what I REALLY think, and it's very important to me, so you need to listen and stop trying to get me to calm down. If it wasn't important to me then I wouldn't be agitated!"

    Again, you find that those people who say they want to know when things are important to you, actually don't.

    runvardh old bean, you say "honesty" like it's an absolute term, but I suspect there's a sort of idiosyncracy about the way you're using it. I can guarantee I'm always honest with what I say, what I say is what I really think, I'm not disguising it at all. If you mean being honest about what you feel, then to expect that of someone who doesn't even know or care how they feel might be a little.... unrealistic?
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  5. #25
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Ah, every time I forget and my roommate is around I ask him how he's doing (). His first reaction is to freeze, his eyes grow big as saucers, as he takes about 20s to think or whatever he does. Then he quickly answers "Fine, why?". By then I realise what I did, tell him "nothing, just asking" (which is the full truth). He says, "oh, ok" then very jerky like goes back to what he was doing and I walk off wondering why I forgot that he reacted that way.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #26
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    If I'm annoyed, I tell people in no uncertain terms. I tell them what I'm annoyed with and why, and try to bat around ideas as to how to avoid it in the future. Then you find that people who go on about wanting people to be honest with them, actually don't.
    ...

    To me it means "aha! things are getting interesting at last!" and "no, this is what I REALLY think, and it's very important to me, so you need to listen and stop trying to get me to calm down. If it wasn't important to me then I wouldn't be agitated!"
    +1. definitely!!

    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    His first reaction is to freeze, his eyes grow big as saucers, as he takes about 20s to think or whatever he does. Then he quickly answers "Fine, why?".
    Hahaha, the deer in headlights - that's exactly how I react. I'm always so stunned when someone asks me that question...

  7. #27
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    I have that when someone asks me: "Something wrong?"

    It always takes me some time to process a question like that. As it turns out though, nothing is ever wrong. :P
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  8. #28
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    runvardh old bean, you say "honesty" like it's an absolute term, but I suspect there's a sort of idiosyncracy about the way you're using it. I can guarantee I'm always honest with what I say, what I say is what I really think, I'm not disguising it at all. If you mean being honest about what you feel, then to expect that of someone who doesn't even know or care how they feel might be a little.... unrealistic?
    Yeah, I'm one of the really weird NFs who can accept the shrug or "I don't know" or "nothing". Hell, there are times when I'm in the middle of figuring out how I'm feeling and I have to answer with "I'm not sure yet"; I'd be damn hypocritical to expect anything different from someone else.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #29
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    +1. definitely!!



    Hahaha, the deer in headlights - that's exactly how I react. I'm always so stunned when someone asks me that question...
    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    I have that when someone asks me: "Something wrong?"

    It always takes me some time to process a question like that. As it turns out though, nothing is ever wrong. :P
    Yeah, it just takes me seeing the reaction and I remember again - I never expect anything to be wrong though. I know that if something is wrong I'll hear no end to it . Na, I'm glad he sees me as safe, I just worry about his g/f sometimes .
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Ah, every time I forget and my roommate is around I ask him how he's doing (). His first reaction is to freeze, his eyes grow big as saucers, as he takes about 20s to think or whatever he does. Then he quickly answers "Fine, why?". By then I realise what I did, tell him "nothing, just asking" (which is the full truth). He says, "oh, ok" then very jerky like goes back to what he was doing and I walk off wondering why I forgot that he reacted that way.
    Ha, yes. I had an ISFJ roommate who would always ask when I got off the phone with someone, "How are they doing?" I could never think of an answer to that. I knew some things that were going on in their lives, but as to psychological state? That question throws me for a loop.

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