I see that in the last few days many people are interested in Ni and they would want to develop Ni. Of course I can only speak about INTJ Ni.
Everything told so far was the good side but there is a dark side of entire story. I am posting this in this thread because it is related to things like love and sex.
Well the whole thing is that brain is built this way and you are helpless about it. But that would not be such a problem if our reality is "more normal" place.
What I mean by this is that (scientific) knowledge is the key part here.
Scientific knowledge is the fuel for the process(Ni). As knowledge grows the process is becoming more and more complex.
Also many things in that knowledge are against the common sense (S).
So more and more people do not understand you, as you go deeper.
At one point you will get far enough that you can accept things that are not "normal" or obvious.
From more practical view that looks like this.
Since I am geology student I am “driving” hundreds of millions of years up and down every day so my view of the time is different then how most people see it.
Imagine this scenario. I and another person are in the middle of the nowhere.
Then the other person asks “How did those rocks form?”
Me: Well, those rocks were formed in the shallow sea along the northern coasts of Africa some 230 millions of years ago.
That would not be strange in the case that we are not on the mountain some 1200 meters above the sea level and the sea is not visible from the mountain at all. Plus we are in the middle of Europe.
Also only few people are aware of the fact that only a few kilometers/miles beneath our houses there are hellish conditions.
Or knowing, that the Earth will probably not be able to support mankind in it's current number. (Read billions of dead people)
Also I am big fan of Astronomy so I would dare to say that I am more aware then the others about our position if we take a look at the big picture.
This includes knowing that in the car at the 200 km/h you will need about
23 000 000 years to reach the nearest star.
Which is only 4.24 light years away and there are stars that are billions of light years away.
Plus - time is not constant in all parts of the reality, our picture of the world is illusion (it is illusion created by the brain), black holes, asteroid impacts, and countless billions of years that are yet to come.
It is one thing to read something like this in some magazine from time to time and another thing is to be fully aware of it all the time. Since I am professionally into the hard science my chances of forgetting things like this with time are 0.
Why I am saying all of this?
Imagine something quite normal.
Woman had a relationship with some guy for six years. It was a very good and healthy relationship. Plus everybody knew them as a couple and liked them as people.
One day love went away and they brake up. (Actually he brake up with her)
Few hours later woman is desperate, there is a lot of screaming, crying …….
I mean how can I have empathy/simapthy for her?
When you have so much abstractions and so much abstract/negative things in your head and you are so aware of the big picture.
It is very hard to be in contact with emotions of other people if you are like that.
Example number 2: Father of one of your friend dies in a car accident.
Why should someone be unhappy about it?
People die like this every day. Thousands die like this every single day.
Was he better then all those people so he deserves that you feel bad about it? Does your friend have the right to expect for you to feel bad about it?
Ok a guy died but there are still 6 854 927 726 other people that have survived the accident. After all where will you end up if you cry for all the people that died just in your hometown? All of those people are worth of crying why stop on this one?
I admit that I am cold-hearted son of a bitch. I am guilty for that crime for sure. But in my own defence: for example I can be very good ally in times of crisis, I have a sense of humor (dark one, but it is still sense of humor), I don't have problems with stress, I am not violent, I have low probability of getting in trouble (that is because my interests are very narrow)
I don’t enjoy in physical pleasures and I am emotionally very stabile.
I simply can’t be in touch with emotions of other people because I am too abstract as person.
I have lost almost all empathy since I am living with this kind of ideas for years and I am very interested in them.
Problems like ones that are mentioned are simply too small to be really important. This kind of thinking makes person none empathic in the real life and when I am in my abstract world I can’t use emotions normaly since I am detached from everything.
So, in the end a person end up in situation that it can’t relate to anyone or anything that is part of everyday life (romance included).