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Thread: ENTP's as kids

  1. #41
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    German cops dont eat at all...

    xD


    Makes ya even more of a badass drunk in that story!

  2. #42
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post

    Storming out of the classroom during lessons. Refusing to do his work.
    Swearing and answering back at teachers. Running down the halls. Being late for lessons. Blah Blah Blah.

    It was mentioned that Elliot may not be stimulated enough in the classroom .. No shit Sherlock. Having a 1000 kids to look after though, school is about gving and showing respect, that is what i was told anyway.
    Right. Sorry but I had to laugh at some of those. Running down the halls - running. Perspective, anyone? Since when was running actually a crime? Or harmful to others?

    Answering back - you mean disagreeing. I've had that old chestnut thrown at my daughter, when it turned out she actually had a point, but the teacher considered themselves entitled to never be questioned or challenged, even when they were clearly wrong. In that situation, I'd swear too.

    Refusing to do work - my daughter also refused to do work, and so did I. Because it was utterly pointless. It was work I learned or gained NOTHING from doing, which wasn't in the least bit challenging or fulfilling. How does it show respect to a person (your son, my daughter, any kid) to force them to waste their time? Especially when in the case of our kids, they really do have so many other ideas for how they could use it better.

    Being late and storming out - again, if the whole thing's a waste of time, how is it reasonable to expect someone to kowtow to it?

    I'm actually very proud that my daughter never let them grind her down.

    What does he say his reasons are for doing these things? I imagine he probably won't tell you a lot of it, because at the moment he sees you as being on the side of or in league with the institution that's trying to repress him. He'd be suspicious of cooperating with you, because he knows that deep down what you seem to want is for him to just conform.

    After I started homeschooling my daughter she began to really chill out and open up to me more and we started getting to the bottom of things, it turned out that the school was hardly reasonable in the way it treated her. You get it all the time in schools: behave like an adult and we'll treat you like one. Except they don't. If an adult disagrees with you in a polite and respectful way, you don't give them detention and lecture them for being "disrespectful".

    Most kids maybe will at least pay lip service for a quiet life, but not me and not her. If he is an ENTP and you are an ESFJ then I guess you've got to fully internalize that being respectable and "keeping the peace" are never going to be high priorities for him. As long as you don't do that, he'll keep seeing you as the enemy, part of the thing that wants to change him.

    I have now taken both my kids out of school, because I'm sorry, but I just don't think it's a healthy environment for them to be in - what other conclusion could I reach when two kids who are bright and healthy and joys to have everywhere else they go, are suddenly labelled as "problem kids" by a single institution? And since I made that decision, our quality of life and their cooperation levels and enthusiasm for learning have rocketed from rock bottom to sky high.

    I'd say to seriously consider homeschooling as an option. Then he'll believe you really are on his side. I know you are, you know you are, but he doesn't believe it.
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

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    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  3. #43
    brat Mitzy's Avatar
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    discipline him or send him off
    She talks pretty but says mean things

  4. #44
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    Yea...Synarch's right...Male role models..especially around 12...because he's also going to be quite uncomfortable with his S function...

    So he has F..uncomfortable at this time...then S...which is vulnerable to hormonal shifts...(sex hormones)

    So an NF guy perhaps will automatically make him feel comfortable...and like Synarch said...being around him would be good to pick up on what's socially okay and what's unique to him...he may begin to see that others' are comfortable with their emotions and learn it's not an issue.

    I wish I had that growing up...




    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    Hi.

    Seriously need some advice here.

    My ENTP children son is 12 yrs old. Smart, humourous if not a tad to serious for my liking . His drive and determination astounds me. His only down fall is he doesn't tell me how he feels.

    I have been at his school for the last hour and sat there listening whilst absolutely dumbstruck. They thought they should bring it to my attention now that is behaviour is off the rails to the point that they are considering exclusion. WTF??? (This has been going on for 3 months apparantly).

    Like i said, the kid is smart and he knows it. He is the only person i know who will find a website that most people didn't know even existed. lol. He comes home everyday and tells me what he was great at, be it PE, science etc etc.

    The kid is on self destruct i have found out today. The school is going to get some outside agencies to come and have a look at him. I know he has gone through shit with me the last few months but i haven't even seen any warning bells (there was one a few months ago, but the doctor told me to sort my shit out basically, thanks doc). He is happy at home or so i thought.

    How do i help a child that lets no one in? Is so stubborn only he knows best. I love him to bits, he is my son. I just don't know what to do. I know we are very different people and we handle things differently. But i am lost on this one.

    Any advice would be gratefully received. Thanks.

    P.S. He is currently on his keyboard, it is on full blast, and he is banging on the keys. I have asked him to come down but he doesn't want to. I think he might be embarrassed. Bless him.
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  5. #45
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    You think a guy in puberty can develop the wisdom to learn about his emotions ?

    I highly doubt that
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  6. #46
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blackmail! View Post
    ENTPs are Ne-dom. They are obsessed with possibilities. Thousands of myriads of different possible scenarios are forming in their head within a single day.

    "What would happen if...?"
    "Should I try that?" -just for fun-

    As you said, we often have no idea what life really is, because we consider the infinite possibilities. We could be anybody, just living anywhere, anytime.

    We experience several lives simultaneously, and yet we don't understand any. We question everything, so there's usually no definite or ultimate answer.
    Yea...As a kid I wish I had those bat tools Batman has...IRL....going on missions and outperforming in every way..

    So if you can get your hands on some of Batman's gadgets..
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  7. #47
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    You think a guy in puberty can develop the wisdom to learn about his emotions ?

    I highly doubt that
    Okay what's your idea? You got the big glasses...there's gotta be somethin' to that intelligent look!

    So far you got doubt...that's an empty tank...Get in my car...we're going places...but if you're bad I'm gonna hit the ejection button
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  8. #48
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    You think a guy in puberty can develop the wisdom to learn about his emotions ?

    I highly doubt that
    yeah I tend to agree with that! I think a better bet would be a fellow NT male, so he could get a break from the incessant prying into his emotional state. He'd probably find it refreshing and feel like a new uh, man lol

    I know that's one reason why I find being at the pub so relaxing - it's a T-male dominated environment where just srsly, your feelings are your problem dude, we don't wanna know, now come here and let's talk about rugby, or somesuch. It's great, gives me the emotional space and privacy to figure my own shit out inside while I just chill. Obviously that's not a feasible release for a 12 year old (not even in Europe lol), but some equivalent would be what the doctor ordered.

    I think it's very possible to sorta love someone to death as it were... specially NT's really need that space and lack of pressure to reveal or explain emotions. If I really had to, I could handle maybe one "heart to heart" every couple of weeks, but I remember when I was a teenager and my parents, it felt like they were just constantly on my back. Them and the teachers and then concerned relatives, always everywhere I turn someone asking me how I feel, what am I feeling, full of reassuring emotional stuff that didn't really reassure me at all, just made me feel inundated and like I had to respond somehow "correctly", just really pressured. When I talked it over with a counsellor years later, even the counsellor agreed that it was probably a very large part of the reason why I went so far off the rails and liked hanging out with bad kids - they didn't care how you felt, only whether you could skin up good

    If I could've got that space elsewhere then I probably wouldn't have hung out with those guys. It's the sorta ExTx need isn't it, to be with people but to remain detached, remain autonomous.
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  9. #49
    Senior Member Fiver's Avatar
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    Some ENTPs like to break down machines, take them apart and put them back in innovative ways. Some like to do the same thing but with organizations and systems. It sounds like, he sees the flaws in the (school) system and wants to break it. If he had the power, he would build a new system and believe me, it would be more efficient, flexible and effective. If you, his mom, can see and appreciate this frustrated creativity, he will be very impressed by you and respect you more.

    P.S. As a general rule, the less you say, the better. One clever, insightful, understated comment might be most effective. Something like, "They'd be smart to ask you how to make the school better," woud've been very effective with me.
    Quote Originally Posted by pippi View Post
    Fiver is correct, it is freeing to not have to impress someone, to be accepted for who you really are.

  10. #50
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Avatar7 View Post
    Okay what's your idea? You got the big glasses...there's gotta be somethin' to that intelligent look!

    So far you got doubt...that's an empty tank...Get in my car...we're going places...but if you're bad I'm gonna hit the ejection button
    I have no clue, I would totally suck at parenting. I am just stating the obvious (at least hoping that it is obvious)
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

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