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Thread: ENTP's as kids

  1. #11
    ThatGirl
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blackmail! View Post
    Here is a phrase that would have make me angrier. WAY angrier.

    It's not something to say in front of some ENTP teens, even if I know I shouldn't make generalizations.
    Really? Even if it is said in a matter of fact tone of voice.

    Saying something like I care and I am here for you in a way that is completely bullshit would indeed have set me off completely. But leaving a door open and not demanding anything or pretending to be overly concerned, probably would have had me eventually coming toward the person.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CJ99 View Post
    Don't try to hard to be the motherly caring doting mum you think you should be. I hate it when my mum does that. Just give him space and let him speak to you if he wants but i wouldn't force him into talking to you or he will just retreat more. Basically don't smother him.

    Try really hard not to nag at all, you might not realise it but - hate to steriotype - being an ESxJ you probable will without meaning it, so try really hard not to.

    Tell him exactly everything that his teacher told you and explain that he needs to calm it down or he will get expelled. Don't say the word stop. Or anything like it. Tell him just to lower it down a notch. If he knows he just needs to calm it down or be expelled he will calm down as it logical. But he probably isn't ever going to stop completely and he knows it so if you tell him to stop completely he will probably give up after a while with a "fuck it all" attitude.

    Any more info on what the problem is? Is it a strict school or him just going overly rebellious?
    He have had a better relationship over the last few months. I give him his space which i know he requires. I am not over mommy with him. I don't bother nagging, it gets me nowhere, lol. I got him to take a kiddy personality test at the weekend and we laughed so hard as he just agreed with everything. This is why i am surprised with his behaviour, he loves the idea of being a visionary. He wants to work at Area 51 and wants to do well at school to accomplish this. Yes he has looked into how he goes about it. lol.
    He was there when the teachers spoke to us. He just took a 'i don't care' kind of attitude .. They offered him help, he said no. The school seems to think it is self esteem issues but he seems happy at home.

    The problem is from what he was willing to share today .. he hates his school, he wants to be back in Canada. He is hanging with a bad group of kids (all his friends are Somalian) and they talk their language out of the classroom, so he just stands with them, he knows they are bad, but doesn't seem to care. He hates my soon to be ex husband with a passion. I didn't know none of this. I just sat there and listened with my chin on the floor.

    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    He needs male role models in his life. Someone who can teach him how to channel his full energy. Most women can't do that.
    Totally agree. He loves talking technology and space stuff with my step father who is a great man. Unfortunately he lost his sister the other week and he really struggling. It is not fair i ask his help at the moment.

    Quote Originally Posted by iwakar View Post
    My ESFJ Mom and ENTP brother. :shakes head: She still hasn't sorted out how to deal with him except for nod and grunt when he babbles incessantly about his latest opinion and how it negates the validity of hers.
    I think i am doing pretty well in that department. I know we have different opinions, and that's cool. I am open minded enough to listen to his views.

    Quote Originally Posted by marmandahalf View Post
    I have an ESTJ mother and what she needed to do was appeal to logic. When I was disruptive at school, which was not that often because I'm a girl and socialization crushed a lot of that out of me, she would make vague statements about how "That's not okay" or "How would you feel if...?" None of that got through. It was like null data. ENTPs are system builders. What I needed was someone to ask me to think about the overall school system and what it needs to run optimally. Then I realized that me being a pain in the ass was unnecessary gunk in the cogs that kept it running. And since I agreed overall with the idea of schooling, though I thought many of their methods unduly pedantic, I got my act together. This is the ENTP version of sympathy. You just can't tell us that we should behave a certain way "just because." We're programmed to question statements like that.

    Good luck with your son. We're hella hard to raise, but I hear we turn into mostly-awesome adults.
    I am so proud of him already and he is only 12. I can't wait to see him as an adult. . The school has said the reason they didn't contact me earlier as they thought his behaviour would change. His grades are/were really good. They did say that pre and post Canada, they have noticed one hell of a difference. Where as before he enjoyed working hard and getting the recognition. He doesn't care now. He is rude and disruptive, swearing and just being a general nuisance.

    I do not want my son to waste his potential (lol, he actually wants to join this site, i have to remind him he is 12) .. I just hope he comes to some kind of conclusion in his head, and moves forward.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  3. #13
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    I pm'd you, but I just also want to say that I wasn't very future planning oriented when I was a kid (and still not now either). Telling me to think of my future would have been futile. Appealing to my emotions would have made me read your face to figure out exactly what I thought you needed to hear. Especially since I couldn't identify a feeling at that age if you paid me. I learned how to fake emotions from watching soap operas - I had no idea that people really felt these things, I thought everybody was acting. Give this kid more mental stimulation. When he is excited learning, he won't act out. He is most likely bored at school and bored (or stressed) at home and doesn't even realize it yet. A general lethargy and apathy. Give him something to care about that is all his. If I had been challenged more, I would have ended up on a different path.

  4. #14
    ThatGirl
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    (all his friends are Somalian)

    It's always the DAMN! Somalians!!!!!


    I do not want my son to waste his potential (lol, he actually wants to join this site, i have to remind him he is 12)
    That would be awesome, bring him to the dark side.

    One of us, One of us, One of us.

  5. #15
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    I'm highly suspicious of the school's assessment - do you have any examples of this terrible behaviour?

    Schools do have a habit of labelling things as "problem behaviour" when in fact it's perfectly normal and healthy - just inconvenient for their purposes. It's easier to foist the blame onto you and the kid, than to accept that they're too inflexible to accommodate different personalities and try to shoe-horn everyone into a one-size-fits-nobody system.
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

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  6. #16
    Gotta catch you all! Blackmail!'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    I'm highly suspicious of the school's assessment - do you have any examples of this terrible behaviour?

    Schools do have a habit of labelling things as "problem behaviour" when in fact it's perfectly normal and healthy - just inconvenient for their purposes. It's easier to foist the blame onto you and the kid, than to accept that they're too inflexible to accommodate different personalities and try to shoe-horn everyone into a one-size-fits-nobody system.
    Agreed.

    Schools are normative environments. And the norm is something xNxPs often have issues with.
    "A man who only drinks water has a secret to hide from his fellow-men" -Baudelaire

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  7. #17
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    I pm'd you, but I just also want to say that I wasn't very future planning oriented when I was a kid (and still not now either).
    Thank you, i'll read it in a min. This kid has his future mapped out. He is leaving home at 15 and moving to California. he is going to become an Actor. He has already found out what immigration forms he needs. I have reminded him that in 3 years time, them forms might not be relevant anymore. His grades are going to be brilliant so when he finishes his acting carreer he can go and work at Area 51. He knows he has to get into the American Air Force (gosh and i thought my expectations were high of myself) .. I kind of stopped paying attention after that and told him so.

    Lmao.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  8. #18
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Hahaha, I was going to be an astronaut - but for real. I had it all planned out as well. Oh well, the best laid plans...


    EDIT: I should clarify - I thought a lot about it and did the research, but made no moves to actually implement the idea. I never really thought I would get older and I thought the chance would always be there.

  9. #19
    Gotta catch you all! Blackmail!'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    Thank you, i'll read it in a min. This kid has his future mapped out. He is leaving home at 15 and moving to California. he is going to become an Actor. He has already found out what immigration forms he needs. I have reminded him that in 3 years time, them forms might not be relevant anymore. His grades are going to be brilliant so when he finishes his acting carreer he can go and work at Area 51. He knows he has to get into the American Air Force (gosh and i thought my expectations were high of myself) .. I kind of stopped paying attention after that and told him so.

    Lmao.
    That sounds very odd for an ENTP kid.

    I mean, not the grades, but the fact he acknowledges to have "his future mapped out".

    ---

    You should remember that according to the whole theory, Jungian typology is not supposed to be made for teens. And that trying to type a young teen often gives unaccurate, false or incomplete datas.
    "A man who only drinks water has a secret to hide from his fellow-men" -Baudelaire

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  10. #20
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    And by the way, I didn't care about school either, because I knew that what they tell you about how it's EVERYTHING, how you can't do ANYTHING without what THEY call a good education (i.e. a state education, learning what we want you to learn in the way we want you to do it), well, I never bought it from the word Go. People said I'd regret it when I was older, but I haven't yet and I've been more successful than my swotty sister by a long way, and am happier than her too.

    I think your best bet would be to support his decisions to do things his own way. If it really is more in his interest to act another way, you can bet he'll probably realize it on his own when the time's right, and will do it of his own free will.

    You can lead a horse to water... but you cannot, even with a gun to their head, make an ExTP drink!

    edit - another thought - I went way off the rails throughout my teens, but I don't regret it at all. It's the reason why, by the time I was 20, I had it all out of my system, knew who I was and what I was about, and was ready to settle down and knuckle down. Though people worried about me at the time I knew what I was about, and I know that it was actually the making of me.
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

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