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  1. #1
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Default F/T? and emotional motivation.

    I just had a small opiphany.

    First I should explain what I mean by emotional motivation as it may be misunderstood. I'm not that skilled in english and might probably miss out on a more proper term. :P

    With emotional motivation I mean the motivation to do something for someone that is unlike your nature as the whole process or idea of the concept you are trying to do isn't really that important to you. But since it is most likely appreciated by the other person, you will go through with it nonetheless.

    A random gift, or praise that has nothing to do with anything concrete, but just a nice gesture alltogether.

    INTP's usually don't see the importance in such things per se. I know I don't. But ofcourse it still is nice to try and do something nice occasionally. But when the gift or praise you are intending is not easily aquired. And it will take time and motivation on your part to go through with it. You often might find trouble finding the motivation and maintaining your quest. Quite possible eventually coming up with an easier solution. That may be received just as well, but it's not entirely the same.

    I just realized that my main motivator for such acts, is to create suspense. I always create suspense. By creating suspense I am somewhat forcing myself to live up to the expectations, and can easily find the motivation to do what I had in mind. This happens most profoundly if I have an idea, want to pull it through but am slowly starting to loose interest in completing the task. The reason I make a thread about it is that I do this so often, it might be very related to my personality type.

    By the way, I'd put a lot of work and thought in gifts to people I really care about without hesitation. In this case I am refering to the everyday go abouts, not just the people closest to you, but to anyone in general on no explicit importance.



    My question is, do you use the same strategy? And if so, which type are you? And if you are an INTP and do not use this strategy, speak up as well. I'm quite interested.

    My hypothesis is that for feelers this comes natural and they don't need any form of motivation. However for thinkers it may not be so natural. Despite their best intentions.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  2. #2
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    As an INTJ, praising or appreciating someone verbally doesn't come out naturally from me. I usually would have to think that it is the "right" thing to do as sincere appreciation can truly go a long way for a person. I detest flattery (fake form of appreciation) and hate lying for the sake of being nice.. If I truly think a person did a nice job, then I say so. If not, then either I don't say anything, or try to critique the person so he can do it better next time.

    As for all the other friendly gestures (unnatural) I am more concerned about doing what is "good" and "right" rather than doing what is "nice". If being nice means tolerating something bad or morally wrong, either I get out of the situation (annoys me a lot) or I cut through the nonsense even at the expense of sometimes appearing rude (if I am extremely extremely annoyed). Other than that, I can say I'm pretty diplomatic.

    I find it difficult to do something so unnatural for me if I can't find any deeper moral reason behind it.. I may not be comfortable with it, but being nice (or at least appearing nice) is very important in dealing with people. It helps us gain their trust, build deeper relationships, and more importantly - it makes them more open to our suggestions/ideas for their own improvement (which is usually our intent). - I think this is right.

    This emotional motivation of doing what is "proper" also continously reminds me of the fact that delivery is as important as the truth. NTs in general (I think) tend to be blunt. It doesn't matter whether it's because of concern or pure amusement but NTs do have the tendency to say it as it is.. This causes people to be defensive, hurt, withdrawn and stuff like that. No matter what we say to them then, even if it's the truth, becomes pointless because they're just not gonna accept it. In this case it's much better to be diplomatic than to be rude..

    So there, my motivation is all about doing what I think is good or morally correct. Of course, no one's perfect, but this kind of reason both satisfies my sentimentality and logic.

  3. #3
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    I dont use strategy with people but your epiphany sure sounds cool
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  4. #4
    Senior Member Galusha's Avatar
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    if I feel appreciation for someone or something that they've done, I often forget to say it outright. it's not that I'm uncomfortable with giving compliments, it's just that I believe my emotions are best expressed through actions. following their plans, discussing their idea, bringing them food. compliments are generally superfluous, and I don't use them unless I sense that someone's not confident or I don't think they're intelligent enough to figure out my hints.

  5. #5
    Senior Member forzen's Avatar
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    My action has to have a reason behind it so i don't feel uncomfortable. So doing something "nice" to someone doesn't come natural to me.

    Of course when a person does something "nice", just to be nice, i often feel that theres a reason behind it, and usually leaves me feeling uncomfortable.
    This post grammatical errors had been intentionally left uncorrected.

  6. #6
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    I just realized that my main motivator for such acts, is to create suspense. I always create suspense. By creating suspense I am somewhat forcing myself to live up to the expectations, and can easily find the motivation to do what I had in mind. This happens most profoundly if I have an idea, want to pull it through but am slowly starting to loose interest in completing the task. The reason I make a thread about it is that I do this so often, it might be very related to my personality type.

    .
    fluffy is this suspense in your own mind about the possible response of the person to the item or is this suspense you hope to create in thier mind at the anticipation of receieving said item?

  7. #7
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by happy puppy View Post
    fluffy is this suspense in your own mind about the possible response of the person to the item or is this suspense you hope to create in thier mind at the anticipation of receieving said item?
    No, it's creating suspense in their minds, motivating me to go through with the idea in my head.

    Letting them in on a 'surprise, gift, whatever', without divulging the details ofcourse.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  8. #8
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    perhaps that is Ne. It likes to see all the possibilities in other's behavior and then maybe you use Ti to try and predict what they will do upon receipt of the item???

    So you create a sense of suspense in that person, use Ne to envision the possibilkities/predictions for what they may do behaviorally-change/newness/novelty/interestingness- and then watch the pridction play out and anaylze it?

    You turn the receipt of the gift into a logical game/puzzle and try and predict the outcome to keep yourself motivated to follow through on what would normally be an Fe/Fi obligatory event.

    Could be total BS though, I am just throwing ideas out there, making stuff up.

  9. #9
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Hmm, I don't think it's purely cognitive function play, but also morals play a bit roll in it. And a combination of both perhaps.

    It might be Ne related, peoples reactions to anything always fascinate me, whatever the situation. But it's not solely to play a game with my Ne. There's an underlying thought, a conscious moral of what I believe is important to that person, and not specifically to me alone, that makes it all play out until the end.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  10. #10
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    I do things for people when I feel they can benefit from it in some way or need it, even if it's just to lift their mood. I usually only do this when I care about the well being of the person, and there are any number of factors that can spur me to care.

    When I'm talking to friends, I always have the attitude that it should be a pleasurable experience. I often, and unconsciously at this point, attempt to uplift them and their mood, sometimes through compliments/praise. When i praise someone, I don't do so fallaciously. I praise a quality that they genuinely have, or that pertains to the situation/conversation at hand. In my view, everyone has numerous great qualities to be noted, and a great potential. People benefit from affirmations from friends. I never tell anybody something that i don't think is true, or that i feel they really can't accomplish. I am a realist above all else, and that carries through in how I converse, counsel, and console others. being a able to deliver a positive, yet realistic, affirmation of a friend's good qualities and potential helps uplift them, and does the same for me when I know that I can help brighten their day. Some people might say I'm flirty, but I just like to focus more on the good things I see in people instead of the negative.

    I'm less eager to DO things to help people out, and tend to be much more selective in who I go out of my way to help through actions. For those who are close enough to me, I will generally do anything I can to help them, if I truly feel it'll help them. If I deem the requested favor to be frivolous or overall harmful, I'm likely to reject it.

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