[ENTP] Single ENTPs

[jenocyde]

no.

 

[SerengetiBetty]

I think what everyone has been saying here about
I suppose the perfect NT relationship would not even seem like a conventional relationship at all. It would need much breathing room and time apart even. But I also believe a healthy relationship could be extremely deep and fulfilling. The thing the NT craves most is to be understood. For someone to "get it". It just needs to be and flow. There should be little talk about the actual relationship and its dynamics. It should be two people living together and honoring their individual paths in life. Helping each other when needed, allowing distance when needed. The bond may not be visible through meaningless gesture, materially or otherwise, but it is undoubtedly unbreakable at this level. Love will not bash you over the head, though I will admit it can sometimes make you a little angsty and sick. Ultimately, it is peace of mind...someone to travel this wild and weird journey of life with, who you understand to be able to empathize with what you are experiencing, thus, doing it together. What a wonderful pleasure.

Well said !

 

[Nyx]

nyx, i can't tell you how much i hate the movie He's Just Not That Into You. 'twas a movie i watched on a plane ride and if i weren't so weak from lethargy, i would organize a protest against the movie.

the message that movie sends ("a man will make a relationship happen") directly interferes with my own vision of getting women. i think it's a woman's turn to do at least this man's job. it's time for change.

Yes, that movie creates quite a concentrated point of hatred within my being. I agree, women should be held responsible for their end of the game. But not by being passive-aggressive, deluded psychos methinks. Women expect too much of men. When honestly analyzed I think that while everything is geared toward making women believe they are the victims, men are actually being emasculated. Obviously, women=succubi

 

[SerengetiBetty]

But not by being passive-aggressive, deluded psychos methinks. Women expect too much of men. When honestly analyzed I think that while everything is geared toward making women believe they are the victims, men are actually being emasculated. Obviously, women=succubi

everything geared to making women believe they are victims because all of this type stuff is geared towards women. the focus seems to be on how to trap a man, how to pretend to be someone you aren't until you're able to take a huge bite out of his cheek like Robert De Niro in Cape Fear and exclaim "You're mine now, bitch!" and then... the amazing thing is that these women will turn around and complain about how they lost themselves in the relationship and proclaim that it was all the guy's fault for expecting her to do it

My female friends have either taken to NEVER discussing guys with me because I pretty much tell them they aren't making sense or ALWAYS discussing guys with me because they believe I think like a guy.

The ones who've stopped telling me things have done so because I don't commiserate with their issues. For instance, if you've just met a guy, gone out with him on 2 dates, then get angry at him because you expected to be made his #1 Saturday date night option then I'm not going to be that friend who's going to agree with you that he's a cad. In fact, I'll probably ask you why you haven't nothing else going on in your life that you're sitting around waiting for a guy to ask you out.

because honestly, i don't think i could take the drama that goes on in relationships. all the nagging, the neediness, the waste of perfectly good money, and kissing your favorite hobbies good-bye. i can't imagine why any sane person would want to be in a full-blown relationship.

I tend to believe we attract who and what we are: dramatic people get drama filled relationships; needy people get needy relationships. Personally I've never been in any of these drama filled relationships and not realized that was actively making the choice to be in them.I admit in my youth I wanted the experience that some of my female friends were having . I had a few relationships like that, tired of it and moved on.

My point is that type stuff isn't inherent in all relationships, just a certain segment of relationships that just so happen to have those type people involved.

 

[Katsuni]

I do find the question strange when anyone asks "do you want to get married?" when I was single. To me, the question is way backwards and I never really knew what to say because to me, the question would be "do you want to find someone you would like to get married to?" rather than just have a marriage just for the sake of it.

Totally agree with this XD It's bothered me for a long time how people seem to have this random need to 'get married', it's like... why do yeu long for the THING instead of the PERSON? So many people get married for the sake of marriage or because it's expected of them, not because they SHOULD.

My father bragged endlessly about how he got married before he was 20. It's like... I never actually saw how that was a good thing. Yeu obviously weren't ready for it, and I'm reasonably sure my birth was pure blind mistake. Why then hold yeur horrible error up in such high esteem, and treat anyone who actually had enough common sense to wait for things to be 'right' for them, as if they were inept? This has frustrated me to no end for years.

Yes, that movie creates quite a concentrated point of hatred within my being. I agree, women should be held responsible for their end of the game. But not by being passive-aggressive, deluded psychos methinks. Women expect too much of men. When honestly analyzed I think that while everything is geared toward making women believe they are the victims, men are actually being emasculated. Obviously, women=succubi

I have a perfect quote that matches with this in 100% sync.

Alex and Jamie, a straight couple, are having problems: Alex is growing dissatisfied with the relationship. Jamie is no longer as attractive as before, doesn't appreciate Alex's needs or hobbies, dislikes Alex's friends, and will try to keep them from getting together when Alex could be spending time with Jamie instead. Then Alex meets Chris. Chris is everything Alex wants from Jamie but isn't getting. So Alex starts cheating on Jamie with Chris. Follow all that so far?

Here comes the question: are you supposed to side with Alex, for seeking more out of life, or against Alex, for abandoning Jamie? Well, that depends. Is Alex the woman?

The Double Standard at work. Alexander cheating on his wife is a dirty scumbag who is failing to honor his commitments, and he deserves any punishment he gets. Though murder is usually considered too severe, there's often a bit of gallows humor with a jaded female supporting character who recommends it (and/or castration) in preference to divorce. Alexis cheating on her husband is escaping from a restrictive environment to experience the love and passion he denies her. The husband is usually set up as a strawman in both cases: a boor who can't appreciate his wife for the treasure she is.

I've always gone FAR out of my way to earn my way, to be deserving of whot I got. I LOATHE the idea that I got something for nothing, it instills a sense of guilt in me that's hard to match. I refuse gifts, to the point that by far, the easiest way to get into an argument with me, is to offer to give me something for free. If I can't repay it, or earn it, I will absolutely refuse it. And it can't just be something simple that I would've done normally anyway, yeu can't just ask me to "keep being yeurself" or "do this small favour for me" if it's something I would've done in the first place. That didn't change that I did NOTHING different at all and got something for it.

This has since grown into a deep hatred for the male/female courting rituals... the guy 'has' to be the one to ask the girl out (I usually do it myself, I take whot I want, I don't wait for it to come to me... if yeu leave it too open ended for too long, people can be STUPID, if yeu don't say it bluntly, they may go elsewhere or mistake yeu for not caring, safest to just take whot yeu want, mindgames are fun but impractical), the guy is supposed to pay for dinner (I have money! And I can't feel guilty ordering expencive stuff if I pay for it), are supposed to come up with things to do (go to the movies, etc, hate how it's like it's assummed I have no ability to think of this crap on my own -_-; ), or that they're supposed to shower me with gifts, especially expencive ones (This one has gotten out of hand for me honestly, I swear I'm the only woman in the world who would get flat out pissed off if someone bought me a gold ring with diamonds in it. I like the colour of silver better, and love cat's eye gems... they're cheaper, but far more preferanced for myself; if someone bought me gold/diamonds, it A: bothers me that they got me something to begin with, and B: they got me something I didn't want and didn't know me well enough to know my preferances, and C: that they obviously didn't even ask me whot my preferances were, blind assumption is BAD. Gimme something small and befitting my tastes, and I'll cherish it forever. Throw money at me without thinking and it's an insult, as it's heavily implying I'm shallow. One of the best gifts I ever recieved was a simple 3d animation of a rectangular piece of wood on a necklace chain, and engraved on it was "MEOW". Nothing special, but it MEANT something because of whot it represented, and that it was discussed whot it would be, and it was more of a 'placeholder' for getting to have the real thing someday, just a simple wooden necklace like that would've been something I'd truly care about, despite that it'd be easy to make and cheap as hell, but it has sentimental value, more than monetary value).

I just realized that last one was still in brackets and had been ranting on for some time now >.>;;

The point still stands, sentimental and emotional value is far more important than how much monies yeu spent on it. I don't care if it was 99 cents, if yeu think it was something awesome I'd enjoy, and it IS, then who cares if it was on a clearance sale?

When I buy gifts for people for christmas and such, I actually look at it that if I got something on sale or cheap, BONUS, it just means I can get them MORE stuff to go with it!




But yeah, the thing about forcing guys to do all the work, when it's obviously heavily weighed against them that anything that goes wrong is going to be their fault? It's unfair, and it's sexist to a rather disgusting degree. It makes me feel awful to think that I'm no better than the guys were themselves 50 years ago... except now I'm worse, because I'm accepting all the benefits, with none of the drawbacks. It's stupid, and it makes me feel like crap, I will have no part in it. I want to be treated fairly and equally, and I want to earn my place, not have it handed to me free of charge.


Edit: oops mistake on missing a / on a quote box >.>

 

[Timeless]

I'm actually starting to crave something more then just random flings and nookies.

When will ever be the right time?

There is no right time.

 

[Fluffywolf]

I'd hold my ENTP brother as an example, in that he seems to need a relationship. But he's really quite unhealthy tbh. He's generally unhappy, often feeling ill (imo his illnesses are all between his ears, he nags about feeling ill 4 days a week, every single week.), and he makes all kinds of excuses all the time. Generally grumpy. And the few times he isn't grumpy, I get the distinct feeling he's just putting up an act to not be grumpy.

His relationship isn't much to write home about either. His GF is a INFP with baggage (history with a loverboy, drugged and abused much in her teenage years.), so she definatly isn't the healthiest either. And around other people my brother has no problem belittling her. And in private he just makes up for it again, and she's fine with that. Or well, she says she's fine with it, yet she clearly felt the need to tell me about their personal life... An INTP who showed no interest in their problems whatsoever. Yeah right.

He's also very easily stressed in supposedly stressful situations, whereas I mostly seem unstressable. And I think he dislikes that and tries to hide his stressed out-ness, only making it worse.

Either way, ultimatly their probably better off together than alone, so I don't bother with it.

So, I don't know, don't really know a healthy self-conscious, happy ENTP.

I'm happy being single though. But the I/E might be a big factor in this.

 

[mibnelius]

Realizing you said ENTPs, I'll go on anyway...

I'm single. I don't like it. I used to be fine with being this way, but I've found that romantic relationships are like some kind of narcotic, you're hooked after your first dose.

Now, from a more detached viewpoint (enter misanthropy), you're going to take a LOT of shit finding the right type of relationship. Personally, I detest how murky and unquantifiable things are, but eventually one can figure out all of their partner's quirks and natural rhythms and adapt accordingly.

Some people are clingy. ENTPs might have less of a problem with this, but as an INTP I can find myself thinking "I really love you, but please GTFO." This can lead to some bitter misunderstandings if not properly addressed. Having a friend this close is nice, but sacrificing time for thought is unacceptable and undesirable.

I'm currently in a long term relationship with my music library. I'm trying to find a partner to share it with. *sigh*

 

[kathara]

From my experience, ENTPs seem to be jumping from relationships to relationships, being one of those types which is always on the look out for a better partner. They are fun to be around, but draining and unreliable.

 

[Kasper]

I relate to the OP, when single I think maybe a relationship might be better, when in a relationship I think maybe being single might be better. I compromise by not fully committing to either

From my experience, ENTPs seem to be jumping from relationships to relationships, being one of those types which is always on the look out for a better partner. They are fun to be around, but draining and unreliable.

While that's not wrong, I've never done that and would never want to. It's not about finding something 'better' but knowing what is there is not right.

My default status is single, I tend to avoid relationships as much as possible or at least leave them quickly and it's because they're not right for me, it takes quite a bit to get my attention in a romantic way and even more to get me to entertain the possibility of a relationship that could work long term.

What is true is I'm bored easily by routine while potential is what excites me so once I have something I quickly get bored with 'maintaining' it and want something else new, while that doesn't relate to people if relationships become boring or routine I do lose interest and look elsewhere for excitement. The main reason I leave relationships quickly is a feeling of being unable to communicate in the same way, be myself and feeling trapped. This really covers me;

For the ENTP, falling in love occurs when they feel that there is a good fit with the other person. Often within the first meeting, ENTPs will know whether the relationship has any real potential. ENTPs may find it difficult to commit to anyone until the right person comes along. During this period, ENTPs explore the closeness until they can be certain that they have looked at all of the possibilities. Because of this, they are not likely to settle down early. When they do become involved in a relationship, they generally want to maintain as much independence and freedom as their loved one can tolerate. Their mates may need to have high self-esteem and to be independent themselves in order to accept the ENTP need for freedom and novelty.

For ENTPs, falling out of love, which may not always occur, results when their vision of the relationship does not square with reality. Sometimes they will select someone who offers stability and comfort and ENTPs later will become bored with the stability.

 

[Bowie]

I'm currently single. I'm picky as hell. I refuse to be in any sort of relationship (or commitment in general) that I don't feel 100% about.

I feel like with most people I meet, I can see exactly how the relationship will go. I also have a problem with picking out flaws and using them as deal breakers. I, myself, am also really good at screwing things up - once I feel I've "figured" someone out, I'll usually move onto something or someone else that is a mystery.

 

[Oberon]

Bowie, it sounds as though you're pre-emptively failing at all your potential relationships.

 

[Bowie]

If only it could be a full time job

 

[sgtmac_46]

I was thinking the past few days about how nice relationships sound in theory, but I can't reconcile it with my compulsive need for freedom. Are there any single ENTPs that regret being single? Are there partnered ones that have regrets about being in a couple? I'm just trying to figure out if happy long term relationships for this type can really happen or if I'm just kidding myself...

Any mate to an ENTP had better reconcile to the fact that ENTP's are never really tamed.

 

[sgtmac_46]

I'm currently single. I'm picky as hell. I refuse to be in any sort of relationship (or commitment in general) that I don't feel 100% about.

I feel like with most people I meet, I can see exactly how the relationship will go. I also have a problem with picking out flaws and using them as deal breakers. I, myself, am also really good at screwing things up - once I feel I've "figured" someone out, I'll usually move onto something or someone else that is a mystery.

Been there........done that.

 

[entropie]

Guess the mbti entp type was the best scapegoat to ever come along to reconcile ones one desire for freedom.

I am just hoping this equation plays out in the end

 

[EccentricB]

im getting really tired of sabotaging my relationships cus im bored and slightly scared. i sound mean but thats just a simplified version of how i feel in relationships after a while.

 

[Synarch]

Any mate to an ENTP had better reconcile to the fact that ENTP's are never really tamed.

I don't think that's true.

im getting really tired of sabotaging my relationships cus im bored and slightly scared. i sound mean but thats just a simplified version of how i feel in relationships after a while.

I can relate to that. I think that's an expectation thing. I often feel a sense of doom when things are going well. I just try to ride the feeling out since I know I cycle through various moods.

My brain needs input. In the absence of input I envision scenarios. I'm better at envisioning negative scenarios than positive scenarios sometimes. A lot of the time. But, like I said. It's about expectations. Expect good things and you can build good things.

I think the major issue with ENTPs (or maybe its just me) is that we live by the motto "the grass is greener on the other side" and so if I was in a relatioship I'd fantasize about being single and if I was single I'd fantasize about being in a relationship. Maybe its just an immature ExxP thing.

I think this is more a failure to be present. Being present is appreciating what you have. Not being present is not seeing what you have and envisioning possibilities. The bad thing about possibilities is that you can make them into whatever you want.

On another note this has been something that's been kinda bugging me for a while, am I the only ENTP who would die in a relationship with an INFJ? Because a classmate of mine is an INFJ and my mom is one too and while we can live civilly with one another I couldn't see myself with anyone like them at all. Why is it that MBTI encourages T's to go with F's and E's with I's? I could see myself with an introvert just not an introvert AND a feeler. I'd say that for a relationship to work the people would have to understand each other and I have yet to understand an NF.

(way offtopic but whatever)

I like INFJ's. They seem to be consistent and caring, for the most part.

I'm actually starting to crave something more then just random flings and nookies.

When will ever be the right time?

There is no right time.

There is no perfect time. I think ENTP's can also be prone to perfectionism.

From my experience, ENTPs seem to be jumping from relationships to relationships, being one of those types which is always on the look out for a better partner. They are fun to be around, but draining and unreliable.

I can see people seeing me as unreliable and I suppose I am in some ways. I just count on making up for it somehow when I circle back.

 

[EcK]

I'm currently single. I'm picky as hell. I refuse to be in any sort of relationship (or commitment in general) that I don't feel 100% about.

I feel like with most people I meet, I can see exactly how the relationship will go. I also have a problem with picking out flaws and using them as deal breakers. I, myself, am also really good at screwing things up - once I feel I've "figured" someone out, I'll usually move onto something or someone else that is a mystery.

Copy. Paste.
(to the word)

 

[realmsghzx]

I can only be single, or be in some sort of vacationship / open relationship thing. I basically go into a relationship with the expectation that it will end at some point. One of us might go to another country for a super long time, one of us might die, who knows. Life is way too chaotic, and I never know what I'm going to do. I can't be sexually monogamous, but I don't expect my partner to be either.