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Thread: Single ENTPs

  1. #71
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    I am about to get married to an INFp. It works for us. However we are both late twenties, even a year ago I dont think either one of us would be ready for marriage. Timing was everything.

    I do find the question strange when anyone asks "do you want to get married?" when I was single. To me, the question is way backwards and I never really knew what to say because to me, the question would be "do you want to find someone you would like to get married to?" rather than just have a marriage just for the sake of it.

    IMO, I have seen way too many people just get married because they wanted to without thinking things all the way through. So I guess Im a bit more pickier than most as I would rather be single any day than just get married for the hell of it.

  2. #72
    Une Femme est une femme paperoceans's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tewt View Post
    I am about to get married to an INFp. It works for us. However we are both late twenties, even a year ago I dont think either one of us would be ready for marriage. Timing was everything.

    I do find the question strange when anyone asks "do you want to get married?" when I was single. To me, the question is way backwards and I never really knew what to say because to me, the question would be "do you want to find someone you would like to get married to?" rather than just have a marriage just for the sake of it.

    IMO, I have seen way too many people just get married because they wanted to without thinking things all the way through. So I guess Im a bit more pickier than most as I would rather be single any day than just get married for the hell of it.
    Honestly, I think a lot of Americans get married way too early. Maybe I'm just extremely selfish, but there are so many things that I want to do before I get "married" (I don't really want to get married, honestly). My ideal age of marriage is 31. And if I'm not married, that's fine. I can still have a child... which is of course my other plan XP

  3. #73
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    I think what everyone has been saying here about ENTPS and NTs in general is accurate. Coi`

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    my desire for a relationship is based on being able to get a girl i like interested in me, nothing more.

    for me, it's merely just an ego boost (and rejection is hard on the ego, that's why i never tried it). and dumping her afterward is good for entertainment purposes, especially if she thinks it's something more. (maybe it's just me, but i just love seeing beautiful things whither and die.)

    because honestly, i don't think i could take the drama that goes on in relationships. all the nagging, the neediness, the waste of perfectly good money, and kissing your favorite hobbies good-bye. i can't imagine why any sane person would want to be in a full-blown relationship.

    what are the rewards in it?

  5. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by Valuable_Money View Post
    Do ISTJ women exist? Id be interested in one just for the novelty of it.

    ISTJ females do in fact exist. Actually Uber's post made me think think of ISTJ women, because from what I've seen they're a pretty good combination of drama free, practical, and won't-take-any-shit.

    (But really all of you single ENTPs should find yourself a nice INTJ )
    "There's no need to be embarrassed about it, Mr. Spock. It happens to the birds and the bees!"

  6. #76
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    I think what everyone has been saying here about ENTPS and NTs in general is accurate.

    Coincidentally, today I was thinking about many of the topics being discussed in this thread and came to similar conclusions. I suppose what spawned this was today I was home and feeling pensive. I was flipping through the on demand movies on television and came across a standard chick-flick romantic comedy type movie. I decided to watch it in the true NT fashion of dissecting it and its mass-produced/approved message to try and figure out what the majority of unquestioning Americans are absorbing subconsciously as truths about human nature (hahaha?). Unfortunately, as a female growing up in what I would call a pretty standard American way, I was subjected to many manifestations of this genre of "entertainment." Shows like "Sex and the City", and movies like "He's Just Not That Into You" and "How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days." ad infintum. Seriously, movies of this ilk are a dime a dozen and always have the same premise. Someone is unlucky in love for whatever reason and then against some amount of odds find their completely happy, eternal love. Over generalizing the plot, yes, but it doesn't matter. Being subjected to this as an NT child in a sea of SPs and SJs (I'm truly sorry but have never been able to tolerate Ss no matter how hard I try, we fundamentally cannot communicate about anything deeper than the weather) I grew to hate this genre of film/thought. The hate stems less from the general plot and more from the way these relationships are displayed: contrived, superficial, and ultimately unfulfilled (looking at them in a realistic way of course). The way the general media has portrayed love is completely out of whack. I will say, however, I do not know how a SP/J views this but as an NT, it is unbearable. Now, I'm not asking you to take movies literally, but you better believe these messages do seep in subconsciously if you are the average American growing up and being exposed to the media onslaught and over-saturation. Enough of media talk.

    My final point is that love is something I am coming to accept as an NT to mean simply an appreciation for another human. I know this sounds unemotional and detached. The way I view it is love is purely solipsistic. I suppose this could be argued for much of reality, though. But since love is an emotion, it is solipsistic. It is intangible, ultimately unprovable. This is fine, thus is the duality of life. We need these things. Since love is something you feel it is not literally between two people. It is your love. If another person feels this appreciation for you and loves you, then your love for each other coincides. The reason you love this person is because in your mind, they do not necessarily fill a void in you, but are a beautiful person to you. You appreciate this to the extent of loving it. Every person must strive to be whole and alone. Your reality and consciousness is solely your experience, obviously. With all this in mind I think it is absurd to be worried about being alone forever, missing out on relationships, or anything of that sort. Your life will be filled with times of companionship and times of aloneness. Do not try to make it one way or another. Like a pendulum, if you pull it a certain distance one way it swings back the other way equally. Do not try to have anything, it will just be. I can relate to many people here feeling like you will not meet anyone good enough and fearing being alone. The feeling of you as a beautiful, whole, unique person and wishing to meet someone on your level of being. You wishing to meet that person and be able to be with them. I still think about this. I wonder if there is a perfect person out there for me. Or several.

    I suppose the perfect NT relationship would not even seem like a conventional relationship at all. It would need much breathing room and time apart even. But I also believe a healthy relationship could be extremely deep and fulfilling. The thing the NT craves most is to be understood. For someone to "get it". It just needs to be and flow. There should be little talk about the actual relationship and its dynamics. It should be two people living together and honoring their individual paths in life. Helping each other when needed, allowing distance when needed. The bond may not be visible through meaningless gesture, materially or otherwise, but it is undoubtedly unbreakable at this level. Love will not bash you over the head, though I will admit it can sometimes make you a little angsty and sick. Ultimately, it is peace of mind...someone to travel this wild and weird journey of life with, who you understand to be able to empathize with what you are experiencing, thus, doing it together. What a wonderful pleasure.

    I will end this with some things out of one of Ayn Rand's novel talking about love (don't worry, I am not a Rand fanatic):

    "We never need to say anything to each other when we're together. This is- for the time when we won't be together. I love you, Dominique. As selfishly as the fact that I exist. As selfishly as my lungs breath air. I breathe for my own necessity, for the fuel of my body, for my survival. I've given you not my sacrifice or my pity, but my ego and my naked need. This is the only way you can wish to be loved. This is the only way I can want you to love me. If you married me now, I would become your whole existence. But I would not want you then. You would not want yourself-and so you would not love me long. To say 'I love you' one must first know how to say the 'I'. The kind of surrender I could have from you now would give me nothing but an empty hulk[...]"

    "I could die for you. But I couldn't, and wouldn't, live for you."

  7. #77
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nyx View Post
    I suppose the perfect NT relationship would not even seem like a conventional relationship at all. It would need much breathing room and time apart even. But I also believe a healthy relationship could be extremely deep and fulfilling. The thing the NT craves most is to be understood. For someone to "get it". It just needs to be and flow. There should be little talk about the actual relationship and its dynamics. It should be two people living together and honoring their individual paths in life. Helping each other when needed, allowing distance when needed. The bond may not be visible through meaningless gesture, materially or otherwise, but it is undoubtedly unbreakable at this level. Love will not bash you over the head, though I will admit it can sometimes make you a little angsty and sick. Ultimately, it is peace of mind...someone to travel this wild and weird journey of life with, who you understand to be able to empathize with what you are experiencing, thus, doing it together. What a wonderful pleasure.
    I could totally see that. It seems like it could be easy and comfortable and straightforward. But I also think an NT pair would analyze the actual relationship and their feelings for each other to death, in order to express their romantic feelings for each other. I guess I need more data, though.

  8. #78
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    nyx, i can't tell you how much i hate the movie He's Just Not That Into You. 'twas a movie i watched on a plane ride and if i weren't so weak from lethargy, i would organize a protest against the movie.

    the message that movie sends directly interferes with my own vision of getting women. i think it's a woman's turn to do at least this man's job. it's time for change.

  9. #79
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    That movie's multiple messages were so horrible, on so many levels.

  10. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    That movie's multiple messages were so horrible, on so many levels.
    oh, shut up.

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