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Thread: Single ENTPs

  1. #21
    Senior Member Wade Wilson's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmandahalf View Post
    I'm only happy in dysfunctional relationships. And even then, I think it's just advanced social experimentation. Romantic relationships fascinate me because it's a whole new set of roles and theories to test out. But I can't handle peace. Because then it's not going anywhere, y'know? Steadiness=routine=me out the door.

    But then I'm very young and very very immature.

    I like to think that I'm one of these: Quirkyalone - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    Do you guys relate to this?
    I really don't see why not wanting a mundane relationship is immature; people CAN thrive off conflict and be better off for it. There's no rulebook that says a happy relationship needs to meet certain standards. Then again, my parents had a very dysfunctional relationship but at the same time, were the happiest couple I knew growing up vs. my friends' families. Plus my father taught me never to trust anyone who smiles all the time.
    I know a girl, she's one of a kind
    But the poor little thing, she's going out of her mind
    There's something you forgot - there's a reason why she's lost
    Cos baby she don't want to be found

  2. #22
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wade Wilson View Post
    I really don't see why not wanting a mundane relationship is immature; people CAN thrive off conflict and be better off for it. There's no rulebook that says a happy relationship needs to meet certain standards. Then again, my parents had a very dysfunctional relationship but at the same time, were the happiest couple I knew growing up vs. my friends' families. Plus my father taught me never to trust anyone who smiles all the time.
    Define mundane in the sense you use it here.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Well, why do you have a problem with things being ...not dysfuctional functional? Do you want or expect to be hurt? So, if you elect to be in a relationship you know will never work you can save yourself from the danger of happiness?
    I think I get itchy and bored. Given a functional relationship, my Ne goes crazy thinking of all of the different ways that it could go wrong. And I compulsively test these theories out ("What if I say/do..."). It's an unemotional process. Which is p'raps part of the problem.

  4. #24
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Yes, but why do you get bored? What does it mean to be bored? How does boredom make you feel? What are you bored with? Do you not trust quiet? Are you waiting for something bad to happen if it is too calm?
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Yes, but why do you get bored? What does it mean to be bored? How does boredom make you feel? What are you bored with? Do you not trust quiet? Are you waiting for something bad to happen if it is too calm?
    If it's quiet, there's nothing to think about, nothing to actively be working on, nothing to analyze, no problems to solve. I can't not solve problems.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmandahalf View Post
    If it's quiet, there's nothing to think about, nothing to actively be working on, nothing to analyze, no problems to solve. I can't not solve problems.
    Maybe you should work on: being at ease with quiet and calmness. Not analyzing. Not feeling COMPELLED to manufacture problems or to solve other problems. Work on being. Dealing with quiet and calmness seems to me to be the most worthy challenge for the ENTP.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  7. #27
    Senior Member Wade Wilson's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Define mundane in the sense you use it here.
    Good question. What comes to mind is when a relationship gets to a point where it's easier just to stay with someone than going through the hassle of starting all over again. There's nothing you can tell the other person they haven't heard you say before. Conversations become monosyllabic and a night out on the town involves grocery shopping together (although it can be fun if you can infuse fun into it, like playing manhunt in Wal*Mart at 2 in the morning).

    Conversely,

    Or like, when you get lost on your way to an Outback Steakhouse for six hours and it's actually more fun than you would've had had you actually made it to the place.

    Way I see is that something that was fun when you first met the person should still be fun one, five or ten years down the road. Once you start getting tired of what originally attracted you to that person but still go through the motions because you've invested so much time already with them... I just don't get it.
    I know a girl, she's one of a kind
    But the poor little thing, she's going out of her mind
    There's something you forgot - there's a reason why she's lost
    Cos baby she don't want to be found

  8. #28
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wade Wilson View Post
    Good question. What comes to mind is when a relationship gets to a point where it's easier just to stay with someone than going through the hassle of starting all over again. There's nothing you can tell the other person they haven't heard you say before. Conversations become monosyllabic and a night out on the town involves grocery shopping together (although it can be fun if you can infuse fun into it, like playing manhunt in Wal*Mart at 2 in the morning).

    Conversely,

    Or like, when you get lost on your way to an Outback Steakhouse for six hours and it's actually more fun than you would've had had you actually made it to the place.

    Way I see is that something that was fun when you first met the person should still be fun one, five or ten years down the road. Once you start getting tired of what originally attracted you to that person but still go through the motions because you've invested so much time already with them... I just don't get it.
    You have to build and develop the relationship. In my experience, it just seems like INTP / ENTP are horrible at being team players, so they have challenges when it comes to making something with their partner.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  9. #29
    Senior Member professor goodstain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    I was thinking the past few days about how nice relationships sound in theory, but I can't reconcile it with my compulsive need for freedom. Are there any single ENTPs that regret being single? Are there partnered ones that have regrets about being in a couple? I'm just trying to figure out if happy long term relationships for this type can really happen or if I'm just kidding myself...
    Maybe with an ESTJ. Until a half a year ago i've seen someone on and off (hot and cold) for 14 years. Mostly On/hot. We would see each other mostly when we both have the same times off work where we would do "mundane" things like patron fundraising dinners for museums, running, checking out cultural gigs, ect. We both lived seperately, roughly 20 miles apart. Didn't really argue alot, although she could be quite condescending which could lead to some drama, in that her condescendingness would hurt my feelings sometimes maybe and i'd end up explaining some truths about her which left me ending up home alone checking out porn Eventually she found a helluva great job 4 states away. Her moving/relocation didn't bother each of us so much that, when the day came she was leaving, it was just like another day

    We still e-mail and call. She's even flying down here again in a couple months.

    What i'm trying to say is maybe ESTJ is the choice for you.
    everyone uses every function about evenly. take NE for example. if there are those who don't use it much, then why are there such massive amounts of people constantly flowing through Wallmart with 20 items or less?

  10. #30
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by professor goodstain View Post
    Maybe with an ESTJ. Until a half a year ago i've seen someone on and off (hot and cold) for 14 years. Mostly On/hot. We would see each other mostly when we both have the same times off work where we would do "mundane" things like patron fundraising dinners for museums, running, checking out cultural gigs, ect. We both lived seperately, roughly 20 miles apart. Didn't really argue alot, although she could be quite condescending which could lead to some drama, in that her condescendingness would hurt my feelings sometimes maybe and i'd end up explaining some truths about her which left me ending up home alone checking out porn Eventually she found a helluva great job 4 states away. Her moving/relocation didn't bother each of us so much that, when the day came she was leaving, it was just like another day

    We still e-mail and call. She's even flying down here again in a couple months.

    What i'm trying to say is maybe ESTJ is the choice for you.
    That sounds like death.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

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