[NT] NTs, just plain rude?

[juggernaut]

For years my ESFJ mother has been on my case about my lack of consideration for other people's feeling, or put more plainly, my rudeness. I've always known her opinion of me was fairly accurate.

What I'm wondering is whether rudeness is the true defining feature of the NT personality? For a while I thought it was, perhaps, just an NTJ thing. Then I realized that were just as many, if not more, rude NTPs. After that I considered that the rude/not rude split might be along E/I lines....now I feel fairly confident that the INTs are just as rude as the ENTs. Are NTs, as a group, just rude people?

Disclaimer: If you think you're a polite NT, please feel free to politely share with us why you think that's the case. I don't want to start another flamewar between the NTs, I just would like to know how other NTs see themselves.

 

[runvardh]

I guess the feeling of disconnect and less care about the imodesty of jokes tends to come across as rude to others. I don't have that complaint about most NTs though. Besides, not having to emote all the time is kind of refreshing. I can handle feeling like I'm being called cold only so much before I need to leave the area.

 

[Qre:us]

Heck naw! I'm a dollop of sunshine...not my fault others forget to wear sunscreen, but still wanna come out to enjoy the sunshine!

Random obs: we have 179 guests viewing the NT rationale sub-forum right now....we must be doing something right

 

[juggernaut]

I think the others might like watching us brutalize each other

 

[Quinlan]

Are non NTs allowed to reply?

I don't think being rude is a rule or anything, NTs are perfectly capable of considering the feelings of others, it might take more of an effort but it's still a choice.

 

[jenocyde]

I still can't figure it out. What would bother most people doesn't actually bother me, so I think I'm being normal but they think I'm being rude. Just wrote about it in that entp are assholes thread...

 

[juggernaut]

I welcome all responses. Do you think the lack of F is the root of the trouble? My former ESTP husband is one of the loveliest, most well-mannered human beings I know. I wonder if it's a combination of a lack of feeling and a lack of regard for convention? I say and do the shittiest things without even trying. If it wasn't for the teary-eyed folks on the receiving end I wouldn't even known I'd done anything wrong most of the time.

 

[professor goodstain]

I welcome all responses. Do you think the lack of F is the root of the trouble? My former ESTP husband is one of the loveliest, most well-mannered human beings I know. I wonder if it's a combination of a lack of feeling and a lack of regard for convention? I say and do the shittiest things without even trying. If it wasn't for the teary-eyed folks on the receiving end I wouldn't even known I'd done anything wrong most of the time.

Maybe you only think you say and do the worst things due to a possible overreaction on the other parties behalf.

 

[jenocyde]

I'm with the prof on this one. Yeah, we could learn more tact, but some people truly are oversensitive. Just think for a few minutes and form each sentence 3 different ways before you actually say it. That way you have options. But hey, if I find a magic potion, I'll let ya know.

 

[ceecee]

Oh I have my moments. Most of the time I am not rude. I think because I am 40 years old and understand what gets things accomplished.

 

[runvardh]

Overreaction, I fight doing it these days, but my brother enjoyed setting me up for it untill I came close to killing him. I think he saw himself closer to death than I saw myself actually cracking his skull open. Anyway, yes, us Fs do have a problem with overreaction; especially if we don't see a need to grow out of it.

 

[nozflubber]

I'm not polite because I DONT HAVE TO BE - I am the way i am because of my temperament, and also due to my fostering. If people think of my frankness as rude and improper, then they are disrespecting MY biology and my principles of libertarianism.

In short, I think the opposite sorta: The world is just plain rude to NTs. It's not regularly "built with us in mind".

 

[Tallulah]

I think I'm polite/diplomatic, for the most part. If someone gets me riled up, then I will care much less about considering their feelings, though. I think I have a really high amount of Fe for an INTP, though. I grew up having to be really aware of others' feelings, and of social conventions.

 

[heart]

I don't think all T have a problem with being out and out rude any more often than F can. There's a problem with equating F with nice and T with rude.

For the T who is rude, lack of F probably wouldn't be the problem as often as Tertriary Temptation would be the problem. Secondary function should allow thinker to take in perceptive data or make judgements that allow them to navigative interpersonal situations more smoothly.

Some T's can be rude to others and then very, very sensitive to rudeness coming back from others in return. When this happens, it is shocking to witness. One tends to take their coming on strong with the rudeness as a sign they're ready to take it return.

This might also be a problem with not having good use of their secondary.

Some of the most even tempered, kind spoken people I've known have been T, yes...*gasp* even NT.

 

[Uytuun]

Hmm, I consider myself polite, but when I feel like I'm being violated or a right of mine is breached I don't hesitate to directly state my opinion of what's happened. In a professional setting as well, I will be fairly direct.

I'm good at bringing out the Se and Fi with new people or in everyday situations or sometimes it just dominates according to what the environment is like.

People that know me better - good friends (and their friends because I can't just switch) and especially family, they get the uncensored version, and yes, that one can be direct/rude. I guess I'm the worst with the people that I feel I can be myself around. Which frightens me.

Noz has a point. Thankfully my people seem to accept it. I'm rarely rude with bad intentions.

 

[Salomé]

I say and do the shittiest things without even trying.

ENTJ. It's a gift.

 

[ajblaise]

Sometimes I get a joke or an insult (nothing really mean) in my head and if it's good enough it's hard for me not to say it. INTPs are probably one of the less rude NTs, and I think the more at ease we are in a situation, the more likely we are to say something inappropriate.

 

[professor goodstain]

I welcome all responses. Do you think the lack of F is the root of the trouble? My former ESTP husband is one of the loveliest, most well-mannered human beings I know. I wonder if it's a combination of a lack of feeling and a lack of regard for convention? I say and do the shittiest things without even trying. If it wasn't for the teary-eyed folks on the receiving end I wouldn't even known I'd done anything wrong most of the time.

Come to think of it, i remember faking crying a time or two just to regain some leverage. Perhaps you were manipulated to put your realistic actions in some kind of check. They probably reacted like this when they found no other way out of confronting their own saying and doing the shittiest things to someone who is beyond the expected trivial stuff.

 

[Salomé]

Sometimes I get a joke or an insult (nothing really mean) in my head and if it's good enough it's hard for me not to say it.

The question is: why do those kind of things occur to us so frequently?

 

[CJ99]

Sometimes I get a joke or an insult (nothing really mean) in my head and if it's good enough it's hard for me not to say it.

Been there so many times. I just can't help myself at times because its too funny so i start laughing then i get asked "whats funny?" and they insist you tell them!

I think NTs just have different lines from other people over what you can and can't say. To an NT telling the "truth" accurately and being 100% logical is far more important than how "nice" that truth is. And alot of people don't see it that way.