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  1. #91
    rawr Costrin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    Funnily enough around here it's the NTs that I've found I have to tip toe around, they can get upset easily...

    *tiptoes out of the thread*

    "All humour has a foundation of truth."
    - Costrin

  2. #92
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    Funnily enough around here it's the NTs that I've found I have to tip toe around, they can get upset easily...

    *tiptoes out of the thread*

    How do you come to the conclusion that we upset easily on these forums?

    Irl, when I use short, concise and clear words, I am accused of being upset - but I am just trying to get my point across with no room for misunderstanding and there is no emotion behind it. A lot of people use this manner of speaking when they are upset, so maybe that's why they assume that I am?

    I'm very curious to understand what 'upset NT' looks like to you.

  3. #93
    Senior Member LostInNerSpace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    Funnily enough around here it's the NTs that I've found I have to tip toe around, they can get upset easily...

    *tiptoes out of the thread*

    I personally don't get upset easily. It's extremely difficult to upset me. I bottle emotion up to a threshold. Once that threshold is breached :steam:. I don't see why that is so surprising. Everyone has a threshold. Some people have a very low threshold and let go in small bursts. Some people, like me, save it up and let go all at once.

  4. #94
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    I could elaborate but I wouldn't want to upset anyone.
    Act your age not your enneagram number.

    Quinlan's Creations

  5. #95
    heart on fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    Funnily enough around here it's the NTs that I've found I have to tip toe around, they can get upset easily...

    *tiptoes out of the thread*

    I'd say this too, mostly about the female T's. Not all of them, but a fair sized portion of them will take an issue, state it in debate-like, conflict provoking terms terms and then when others start debating the issue they say "You're invalidating my feelings/chioces."

    Which is just ridiculous when they've stated their opinions in such a way that slams everyone who disagrees with their choice or they make a really disaparaging comment about the choice they disagree with. They can't seem to understand, that opens the whole topic up for debate, you did not just merely state a feeling, you gave a disaparaging opinion about other people and you need to expect feedback, not all of it good. Either be ready for that or don't express your feelings in such a way that slams other people and their choices.

    To me this seems so self-evident I have a hard time accepting that when they do this they aren't trying to be deliberately provoking or self-centered, but I've come to the conclusion that they really do seem to have a blindness about their own emotional-fueled behavior. That they often cannot be reasonable when their feelings come into the picture, which is the opposite of what I would have expected before I started interacting on these boards.

    They make general, censuring comments about an issue and then when others disagree, they claim others are attacking their personal choices.

    It comes accross as them wanting to be able to attack others as a group for making choices they do not agree with but at the same time expecting special protection not to have the side of the issue they agree with questioned in any impersonal or general terms under the guise of "these are my feelings."

    It is like they cannot find the dividing line between general opinions and personal feelings in the scope of debate.

    Of course it makes me re-think all the females in my life who I thought were F because of this tendancy.

  6. #96
    WTF is this dude saying? A Schnitzel's Avatar
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    I'm never rude, sarcasm just happens to be my native tongue.
    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    sheesh humans! for realz

  7. #97
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    Funnily enough around here it's the NTs that I've found I have to tip toe around, they can get upset easily...

    *tiptoes out of the thread*

    And I thought we were friends!

  8. #98
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    I'd say this too, mostly about the female T's. Not all of them, but a fair sized portion of them will take an issue, state it in debate-like, conflict provoking terms terms and then when others start debating the issue they say "You're invalidating my feelings/chioces."

    Which is just ridiculous when they've stated their opinions in such a way that slams everyone who disagrees with their choice or they make a really disaparaging comment about the choice they disagree with. They can't seem to understand, that opens the whole topic up for debate, you did not just merely state a feeling, you gave a disaparaging opinion about other people and you need to expect feedback, not all of it good. Either be ready for that or don't express your feelings in such a way that slams other people and their choices.

    To me this seems so self-evident I have a hard time accepting that when they do this they aren't trying to be deliberately provoking or self-centered, but I've come to the conclusion that they really do seem to have a blindness about their own emotional-fueled behavior. That they often cannot be reasonable when their feelings come into the picture, which is the opposite of what I would have expected before I started interacting on these boards.

    They make general, censuring comments about an issue and then when others disagree, they claim others are attacking their personal choices.

    It comes accross as them wanting to be able to attack others as a group for making choices they do not agree with but at the same time expecting special protection not to have the side of the issue they agree with questioned in any impersonal or general terms under the guise of "these are my feelings."

    It is like they cannot find the dividing line between general opinions and personal feelings in the scope of debate.

    Of course it makes me re-think all the females in my life who I thought were F because of this tendancy.
    Maybe you take a personal opinion about something as a slam against your own beliefs, when none was intended. I find, when dealing with Fi doms particularly, that I am not allowed to deviate from their personal value system.

    I can honestly say that when I express a personal opinion about my own life, it's not up for debate, it's just a statement of how I conduct my life. We can discuss why I feel that way, for sure - but I won't accept someone telling me that I am wrong for feeling that way. I've never gotten upset that people disagree with my way of thinking, I do get upset when someone pesters me and tells me that I am wrong in thinking the way I do. I get "slammed" a lot from people who disagree with my lifestyle choices and continue to belabor the issue when I've clearly said "hey, there is no point in arguing. this is my life and my choice - do whatever makes you happy and allow me to do the same".

    My irritation with other people's personal vendettas against my way of life has nothing to do with me being upset about the actual argument. I am more than open to discuss anything, but I am not open to baseless judgments from people who don't even try to understand where I'm coming from - so maybe that's where the productive communication ends on my end.

  9. #99

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    Bunch of rude buggers!

  10. #100
    heart on fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    I can honestly say that when I express a personal opinion about my own life, it's not up for debate, it's just a statement of how I conduct my life. We can discuss why I feel that way, for sure - but I won't accept someone telling me that I am wrong for feeling that way. I've never gotten upset that people disagree with my way of thinking, I do get upset when someone pesters me and tells me that I am wrong in thinking the way I do.
    Where do you draw the line between someone disagreeing with your opinion on their choices and when someone is actually slamming you for being wrong for the way you think (or feel)?

    Then once you've decided they intended to attack your personal values in a debate, how do you decide their continued responses are a true vendetta on your way of life instead of them defending against your charges that they've felt, said or done things in a way that they are trying to explain they haven't?


    A general comment not meant for any one person:

    But really I've pretty much come to the conclusion that thinkers *can be* a real emotional mine field, one cannot know when they are being "logical" or when some random feeling is going to cause them to rephrase what is written or said or to assign motives that aren't there, etc. And there's no talking to them once this happens. With another feeler, when you've stepped on their feelings, one can simply explain and try to move on but some thinkers seem unable to trust other people's feelings and have blind spots about their own. I've been accused of being the devil on here because I disagreed with a thinker's opinion about network news. Everything was rational up to that point and after I trappled on their scared cow there was no reasoning with them.

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