In the aftermath of my break-up with my partner (he is ESFJ), he said, "I had no idea that you were so passionate! That you had such intense feelings!"
Yeah and about to add "violent" to the mix. I could have hit him, I was so angry. Together for over 20 years and you didn't know?!
But I realized that he didn't think my feelings were real or rather, that I was experiencing them, because I seldom factored them into the decision making process and to him that just invalidates having them.