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  1. #21
    Senior Member professor goodstain's Avatar
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    Who does one learn from the most? A tactful person that masks truths in order to keep an audience or an honest person that presents reality no matter how bad it hurts.

    imo. A tactful person can be quite slippery with facts in the way they change the meaning of a symbol to better how people view them and promote their propaganda. Then soon enough this new symbol has a completely different meaning and becomes unnatural. Which can make the whole relation unnatural. i will admit that i can be quite slippery with facts but i replace them by being an a-hole via filling in my own facts. This is usually because tactfulness has seemed to skipped some facts that should have been added to the source that provided only tactful facts out of dishonesty in order to be tactfull. The way i attract a croud is tossing out some edible BS if the subject is worth it. Yet, i am sure to make that BS be very truthful.

    What exactly should the characteristics of a tactful environment be? It's usually a bunch of similar minded people. Why are they similar minded? They're not. They're all just being tactful
    everyone uses every function about evenly. take NE for example. if there are those who don't use it much, then why are there such massive amounts of people constantly flowing through Wallmart with 20 items or less?

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    I'm going to have to disagree with you, my good Professor. Tact is a method of delivering the truth in a manner tailored for the ears receiving it.
    Thanks, I was about to write something similar.

    "Compassion without honesty is sentimentality, but honesty without compassion is brutality."

  3. #23
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Professor - there's no need for tact with "samey" people.

    Tact is not a mask. It's like using a spoon for your cereal instead of a fork. You may get the food to your mouth, but you spill all the milk, bro.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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  4. #24
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    Am I one what?
    An asshole or a psychologist?
    An asshole who is a psychologist?
    An asshole who isn't a psychologist?
    A psychologist who isn't an asshole?
    A psychological asshole?

    How about someone with a degree in psych who can at times be an asshole?
    I'm glad you picked up on my double-ended question. Asshole or psychologist. [note: clinical psychologist is more apropo, though...as anyone, even I, may have a psych degree, and I'm none the better for evaluating people]

    I happen to disagree with you that the only person who can decide if they are an asshole to the core is the person in question. Frankly, they are the last person on earth to make that call .
    People rarely see themselves as they are, rather as they wish themselves to be.
    This whole terminology of 'to the core'....is kinda like us debating about 'asshole'. Regardless, for the sake of discourse....

    I disagree that there is some kind of external mechanism of getting to the core of a human being. If there was, along the same line of thinking, your argument about MBTI being useless would be nullified.

    People have varying degrees of consciousness which is why I think MBTI is pointless.
    It doesn't assess what the person does in real-life circumstances.
    MBTI tries to categorize personality traits to predict a pattern of behavior, and, inclinations of behavior to predict/categorize into 16 typological categories. It never claims to assess what a person does in real-life circumstances. And, your point of 'varying degrees of consciousness' means there's no way for any external medium to pinpoint *it*/consciousness. So, how do you think someone (an other) can pinpoint the core of the consciousness of a self, if, (a) it varies in degrees, (b) not predictably assessed by manifestations of behaviour?

    Thus, we are then only left with:
    Behaviours.

    Behaviours are the only thing the world sees of someone, thus, doesn't matter, how to the core a person feels themselves to be an asshole or not, the outside world is not guaranteed a transparency in that. The actions are what matters and seen (only).

    So, I'd say 'to the core' is subjective, and cannot be ascertained by an external medium. What an external medium can (and often will do) is build a commentary through behaviour alone. And, if they're professionals, teach the individual to channel in healthy ways.

    Hence, my original point, being an asshole versus is an asshole. The former could very well be relevant, the latter is just an insult (deserved or otherwise).

  5. #25
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    Hence, my original point, being an asshole versus is an asshole. The former could very well be relevant, the latter is just an insult (deserved or otherwise).
    Sing it, sister!

  6. #26
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Sing it, sister!
    I got Dennis Leary's "I'm an ASSHOLE, oeoeoeoeholleee" on loop in my head now.

  7. #27
    ✿ڿڰۣஇღ♥ wut ♥ღஇڿڰۣ✿ digesthisickness's Avatar
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    when seriousness is called for, the whole point of my speaking is to be heard (productiveness vs. a waste of time), and people will listen best when not put into a defensive mode, and instead, feel heard and accepted themselves. it's that simple, and this alone is enough for me to tailor my approach depending on the individual. (note that i said 'tailor my approach', not 'alter the truth'.)

    people often forget the words you used, but they never forget how you made them feel.

    as a bonus, this also acts as a screener of sorts by allowing me to distinguish those with whom i'm most easily and naturally compatible from those i'm not.

    edit: all of this is assuming the situation is one in which there is still hope that something good can come out of continuing the conversation. like everyone else, i have my breaking point.
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  8. #28
    Senior Member professor goodstain's Avatar
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    This is what happenes when tactfulness meets its breaking point Watch People Skills: Office Space Video Clips | Free on Fancast
    everyone uses every function about evenly. take NE for example. if there are those who don't use it much, then why are there such massive amounts of people constantly flowing through Wallmart with 20 items or less?

  9. #29
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by professor goodstain View Post
    Who does one learn from the most? A tactful person that masks truths in order to keep an audience or an honest person that presents reality no matter how bad it hurts.
    'Mask' suggests they are trying to hide the truth so someone doesn't see it. To me that's deceit, not tact.

  10. #30
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Hey there. Udog. I wish to mask my tactful intentions in a very deceitful unbecoming manner in order to manipulate your mind parts. You will comply.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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