The few past days, I've tried to develop a more solid understanding of what dominance is. I wrote a stream-of-thought post and gradually whittled it down to a more focused topic. But in the process, I also whittled away the good introduction that is necessary to hook the audience's attention. So you guys are going to get stuck with just the information. Information based on my impressions...
In this post, I focus on some J's and catalog the different ways that they naturally establish dominance. P's are a different story, in my opinion, and they do their own stuff.
1) Fear. My Dad is a pretty friendly and outgoing guy. He looks after a lot of people, and there's generally a good time to be had when he's around. But he's also very strongwilled and has a temper. And he's not always good at being sensitive to other people's problems. As nice as he tries to be, a part of him gets contemptuous whenever it senses weakness. People immediately recognize these qualities in him (whether they realize it or not), and they automatically stay on their best behavior around him.
2) Aloof. One guy I know at work who's close to my age is another ENTJ. He isn't as strongwilled as my Dad and lacks the deep-seated temper. But he also isn't as friendly. He usually won't acknowledge people's existance unless they come to him. He'll often make fun of his coworkers, call them out, etc. He'll even do it behind their backs. My favorite example was when a coworker, who was about ten years older than him, was leaving his office after a long period of chatting. The coworker said, "don't forget to ______," and the young J responded from inside his office, "don't forget to SHUT UP." The coworker laughed.
3) Interest. One of my friends takes a genuine interest in other people. He works in a job where people can come to him easily, and we all take that opportunity. He still manages to maintain dominance though. He instinctively keeps control of the conversation while we provide the support. I would classify him as an ENFJ, because he doesn't focus on understanding the facts as much as I do (though he was an A student in school). Instead, creating a good feeling while casually discussing stuff is more his thing.
4) P behavior. Another of my friends is both friendly and nice. His advantage is that he's good at talking, especially about himself and things he's interested in. I would normally classify that as P behavior, but I've known him for a long time, and I know that he's a J. Everything about him fits the J description. He's just good at socializing like a P (as long as he's in control, of course).
5) Ball Busting or "Game Playing." I had a J boss who naturally did this as a habit when he was in control. I think he did this to cover up for the fact that he's actually nice on the inside. Game playing, by definition, means calling people out or creating an intense atmosphere in which there is a certain degree of 'play' involved (ie: the player doesn't really mean it, though he may pretend to). I agree that it can be fun, but it can also be tiresome for the recipient.
6) Jokes. One guy I know well at school has a lot of similarities to my Dad. He's very competent, driving, and sharp. Nor does he bust on others unless the situation calls for it. However, he lacks the temper that my Dad has. He's pretty strong-willed, but people just aren't afraid of him. Deep down, he's just another nice guy. So when things get stressful, he turns to making jokes to keep everyone cool. They're often pretty funny too. But like the game-playing, it can be tiresome, and the laughter is more of an automatic response than a genuine one.
7) Energy. I've had a few TJ professors now who are very good at being dramatic and putting a lot of energy into the classroom. In this sense they are playing the role of an F because they are purposely manipulating emotions as well as thoughts. But when they do this, they have a tendency to stray from the focus of the lecture. This is because they are wandering into F territory, which isn't truly their home, but just something that they have a talent for. So when they get into that mode, it takes up all of their attention. We still enjoy it, of course, though we tend to learn less and take fewer notes.
8) Rules. Now I finally get to talk about myself. During high school, I worked as a lifeguard and swim teacher. What I lacked in natural dominance was completely made up for by official authority. People had to respect the rules that I enforced regardless of what they thought of me. This sounds uncool, but in general things ran pretty smoothly. It was an easy position for me to be in, and I saw that most people were fine with rules.
9) Being Right. If I'm in an environment where people are seeking answers, and I make an assertion, people will start challenging me. My best chance of establishing dominance is to have "being exactly correct" on my side. This requires that I be very careful and precise in my statements. It's also essential that I keep a close eye on the conversation and not let it go off on a tangent. This means that I have to avoid the temptation to argue, call out, insert commentary, or be emotional (except under very occasional and appropriate circumstances). This is where my real "fighting" takes place.
Which ways are the most successful? From what I've seen, people truly respond best to number 1). But I'd say that numbers 2) and 5) are the most likely to attract groupies to your door.
