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  1. #1
    Senior Member groovejet02's Avatar
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    Default INTPs, do people come to you when they have problems?

    I find myself playing counselor to a lot of my friends. They seek advice about everything from employment, moving places, to their love lives. They don't hesitate to tell me everything including illnesses, depression, family discords and abuse. I am actually regarded affectionately by my friends as someone who is willing to listen.

    Do any of you INTPs find yourself in the same situation? I wonder why this is so. INTPs infamously have the least understanding of feelings. For example, I am so bad with my feelings that I tend to repress them until they eat me away or make me explode. And I could never accept feelings for what they are -- I'm always trying to analyze it to see if they "make sense".

    And for you non-INTPs, do you think INTPs are good at offering a listening ear?

  2. #2
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Yes, many a non-NT enjoy my rational view on things and that can work very soothingly if they trust me and are open to my suggestions.

    I am however careful as not all people tend to take advice the right way. :P

    If all else fails, I am very gifted in making a hilarious ass out of myself that lifts even the most dark of spirits in this world.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  3. #3
    Senior Member groovejet02's Avatar
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    I am however careful as not all people tend to take advice the right way. :P

    There's been a once or twice when my friends take my advice as a sign of coldness. I remind myself that often people just need a listening ear.

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    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Interesting you bring this up. When I was in high school, one of the first days they had you fill out a questionnaire that would ask you who you'd go to if you had a problem and needed to talk about it. I was one of about 20 and we were basically trained in counseling, mediation, and listening methods in order to turn us into peer mediator counselors. I always thought my selection was odd since I don't think I possess very good sympathetic attributes. The program was called Natural Helpers, but thankfully I never had to deal with a serious situation.



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    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by groovejet02 View Post
    I find myself playing counselor to a lot of my friends. They seek advice about everything from employment, moving places, to their love lives. They don't hesitate to tell me everything including illnesses, depression, family discords and abuse. I am actually regarded affectionately by my friends as someone who is willing to listen.

    Do any of you INTPs find yourself in the same situation? I wonder why this is so. INTPs infamously have the least understanding of feelings. For example, I am so bad with my feelings that I tend to repress them until they eat me away or make me explode. And I could never accept feelings for what they are -- I'm always trying to analyze it to see if they "make sense".
    Yes, I get a LOT of people coming to me asking for advice.

    Typical reasons they've given me:
    1. "You're safe -- I can tell you anything and you don't judge me."
    2. "You're perceptive, you see things I wouldn't have even noticed."
    3. "You're smart and see how everything fits together."
    4. "You care about me and empathize."
    5. "You give good workable advice and show how it can be applied in a situation."
    6. "You listen well."

    When I was younger, I was much harsher about feelings (I also tried to "analyze" them and then ignore the ones that made no sense and was critical of others who were emotional), but when I came into my own I had learned to accept them as valid parts of people's personality that had to be accepted and dealt with, rather than suppressed or ignored. I have had to work through some serious psychological/emotional issues in my own life and it made me far more sensitive of others and accepting of where they are at.

    So I feel pretty well integrated at this time in my life and able to be useful to just about anyone.

    I think INTPs who develop acceptance/sensitivity of emotions have a lot to offer. The good observation skills, the big picture thinking, ability to see things from multiple views (thus able to see things through the other person's eyes), comprehension of complex systems (which is basically what people's patterns of behavior are), the ability to detach and so not get personally screwed up by or immersed within another person's issues, the ability to start without many assumptions and thus keep a more open view of things, the potential to articulate ideas well and accurately... lots of good stuff there.

    The biggest hindrance is the hang-up on dismissing emotions as invalid in some way or unworthy of attention, and of not thinking about how best to deliver information to the person needing help. You have to do it for THEM, not for YOU; and so, just like with teachers (who have similar qualities to counselors, communication is the goal), you see it from their angle and then figure out what will specifically be of most use to THEM.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  6. #6
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    I like having an NT that I can talk to, lots of ideas and understanding and not much drama or offending. Used to be an INTJ and now it has morphed to an INTP.

  7. #7
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by groovejet02 View Post
    I find myself playing counselor to a lot of my friends. They seek advice about everything from employment, moving places, to their love lives. They don't hesitate to tell me everything including illnesses, depression, family discords and abuse. I am actually regarded affectionately by my friends as someone who is willing to listen.

    Do any of you INTPs find yourself in the same situation? I wonder why this is so. INTPs infamously have the least understanding of feelings. For example, I am so bad with my feelings that I tend to repress them until they eat me away or make me explode. And I could never accept feelings for what they are -- I'm always trying to analyze it to see if they "make sense".

    And for you non-INTPs, do you think INTPs are good at offering a listening ear?
    YES!
    It's sort of puzzling.
    Reasons I've heard: objective/ fair/ logical/ can handle it and won't get emotional/ able to "get" what they're trying to say/ have it all sorted out / know everything
    Mostly it's school, job,or life decisions but sometimes they even ask me for advice about their relationships with other people. At that point I give them a link to the intp descriptions online. i keed. But you'd think they'd know better.

    Sometimes I honestly have no clue but can try to point them in the direction of somebody who might.

  8. #8
    brat Mitzy's Avatar
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    this is funny because the people i go to vent and ask for advice are intp's :p

    i think theyre great...
    like jen said, ntp makes it better. intuitive/logical/objective/perceptive, etc
    but the difference between intp advice and that of entp is that entp's seem to be more scattered. intp's anaylze everything and actually TAKE TIME to give you the correct and accurate answer whereas entp's see it a million different ways and are pretty indecisive and seem to work too fast to give you a correct answer (one quick answer will lead to another possibility that makes for an answer, goes on for ages)
    and if anything, other entp's always seem to be in the same boat as i am, anyway.
    plus, intp's are i's which in some way, makes it easy for them to listen and hard for them to say no when someone does goes to them. maybe because a lot of them seem to be 'softer' compared to e's
    She talks pretty but says mean things

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    Friends often seek out my opinion on matters that are of particular importance to them. Usually it's not in pursuit of sympathy (they know I'm no good there), but they really do want to hear my solution to their problem. Or at least I think so. Also, I am probably the least judgmental person they know, so that in and of itself is inviting.
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  10. #10
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orangey View Post
    Friends often seek out my opinion on matters that are of particular importance to them. Usually it's not in pursuit of sympathy (they know I'm no good there), but they really do want to hear my solution to their problem. Or at least I think so. Also, I am probably the least judgmental person they know, so that in and of itself is inviting.
    This.
    But they never fucking LISTEN to me!
    Stupid people. I'm always right too.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

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