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  1. #1
    Systematic chaos Cenomite's Avatar
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    Default ENTPs and relating to people

    To other ENTPs:

    Do you ever find that you can get along with others very well, but cannot relate to them?

    I can't think of anyone I know who can relate to my thought patterns very well, or vice versa.

    A few of the ENTPs here who I've talked to in vent seem to be somewhat on the same wavelength.

    I feel that I usually need to hold a large part of my personality back, because people just wouldn't have any idea where I'm coming from and think I'm crazy. In the few situations where I have really cut loose and just said what I'm thinking, I've gotten mostly odd looks or other things like that.

    It seems to be very easy to make friends or talk with people, but not to relate to them.

    Any other ENTPs have experience with this?
    The probability that I was procrastinating when I was typing this post:

    P(have big assignment due) = 0.6
    P(posting on TypoC) = 0.2
    P(having big assignment due | posting on TypoC) = 0.7

    P(posting on TypoC | having big assignment due) = .......


    Eh, I'll finish it later.

  2. #2
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    I find that people can relate to my thoughts when I explain them well (which I normally do). The disconnection happens when they get sucked into drama or superficiality, at which point I usually become dismissive. That disconnection, though, doesn't actually make me feel uncomfortable, just a little intellectually distant, which isn't so bad. The judgmental and abrasive people are the ones who actually make me feel emotionally disconnected and absent, and that's when I hold back my ideas.

    I'd add, though, that sometimes superficiality and drama can signal judgmentalism, but usually that's only in extreme forms, in my experience.

  3. #3
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cenomite View Post
    To other ENTPs:

    Do you ever find that you can get along with others very well, but cannot relate to them?
    Yes, and that's why I'm happy I found this forum.

  4. #4
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cenomite View Post
    To other ENTPs:

    Do you ever find that you can get along with others very well, but cannot relate to them?
    I am just not sure yet, if this isn't just a common problem everybody has, but the entp is the only one so sensitive about it.
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  5. #5
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    I am just not sure yet, if this isn't just a common problem everybody has, but the entp is the only one so sensitive about it.
    Good point.

  6. #6
    Phoenix Incarnate Sentura's Avatar
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    i can always relate to people; it's part of my charm. when i do relate, however, i never put too much feeling into it. it just springs to mind that there is a common denominator.
    i hunt INXPs for bounty
    FUNCTION ORDER FOR THOSE THAT CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHAT ENXP MEANS: Ne > Ni > Fi=Ti > *

    ...people tell me i have wildfires in my eyes

  7. #7
    Senior Member Snowey1210's Avatar
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    I can relate (but then again I'm borderline INTP... but that's a whole other story...) I find that I tend to make somewhat "disconnected" friendships quite easily, but the deep connected ones are a whole other story. I think part of the problem is that as an ENTP I tend to hold myself back (especially my introverted thinking) and as such I get to know the other person very well but they don't get to know me. Perhaps this is congruent with the ENTP's common "one-upmanship" trait, in that I feel the need to hold back to maintain control of the situation...

    It kind of sucks because it means I don't have many close relationships, but it does mean I have a broad scope of people I know and have a wide range of perspectives (and potential experiences!) to learn about, with, and from.

    I sometimes wonder what life would be like if I wasn't such a critical bastard... but then I just remember all the fluffy things like bunnies and wainbows on the otherside (*shudder*), and I'm soon set straight again... :P
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  8. #8
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Snowey1210 View Post
    It kind of sucks because it means I don't have many close relationships, but it does mean I have a broad scope of people I know and have a wide range of perspectives (and potential experiences!) to learn about, with, and from.

    I sometimes wonder what life would be like if I wasn't such a critical bastard... but then I just remember all the fluffy things like bunnies and wainbows on the otherside (*shudder*), and I'm soon set straight again... :P


    I am hoping to find again one good friend in my whole life and I will be perfectly fine
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sentura View Post
    i can always relate to people; it's part of my charm. when i do relate, however, i never put too much feeling into it. it just springs to mind that there is a common denominator.
    i think it's your ability to find things which are common to others. any type can find things which are completely common to exact opposite type.

  10. #10
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    I relate to them easily, but they don't relate to me. when I relate to them, it's not about things in common - it's more about using my imagination and thinking what it's like to be them, and understanding it, though it might be utterly different to being me in every way.

    I have found though that some people can surprise you with how much they actually can relate to you, though you thought they couldn't. Some people I approach with that expectation that I've got to hold myself back, where I feel it's one of those typical things where I feel I'm doing more giving than taking - listening to them, supporting them, etc, whilst they don't give much back on that front cos I don't confide in them, cos I figure they'd be little use - well, sometimes it seems they've caught onto that in me, and it's as if they're saying "Try me" - and I like that. It's usually other Ne types though... ENXP or INXP.

    Lately I've found it surprising how, if I just explain myself in concrete terms (easier said than done), my ESFJ mom finds herself sympathizing with me, even if she has never experienced the same combinations of feelings and thoughts herself, she gets her head round the fact that I do and imagines it pretty well, and responds appropriately.
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