User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 24

  1. #1
    Tempbanned
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Enneagram
    8w9
    Posts
    14,031

    Default Questions from an ENTJ

    I just joined this board recently and have only recently discovered that I'm an ENTJ. Initially, figuring out what type I was answered many questions. Ultimately however, it raised just as many as it answered. I figured you guys are pretty knowledgeable on this sort of thing, so I suspect I may be able to find some answers here.

    As an ENTJ I'm not really in touch with my feelings. I have a super strong Te. However, when I do develop feelings for a girl, I fall head over heals and have no control over how strongly I feel. This has continued to cause me extreme heartache and served to interfere with my social skills. How can I regulate the intensity of my feelings?

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    MBTI
    XNTJ
    Posts
    145

    Default

    I have a similar problem, every time I meet a guy I can easily talk to him about anything
    and everything and I'm not shy about acting smart in front of him or dressing up and put-
    ting time into my looks I was always being given a hard time by my friends because I did-
    n't let something with a little bit of glitter make me think my IQ would be brought into qu-
    estion if I wore it so it wasn't things like being intellectually shy or insecure about my ap-
    pearance but I know that I have strong social skills and can be percieved as too outgoi-
    ng at times so I tend to try to tone expressing feelings right off down a little that way I
    don't come on too strong. And I end up psyching myself out and just ending up with an-
    other 'guy friend' and not a boyfriend. And people are always asking when the heck I am
    going to get a guy which just makes me feel embarrassed and self-conscious because I'm
    afraid I'll loose friends if they don't like who I pick and try to get in the middle of it. I wou
    ldn't date a guy who didn't like my friends, but same deal for them.

  3. #3
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    enfp
    Enneagram
    6w7 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    6,748

    Default

    my ENTJ said he took 4 shots of vodka on each of our first three dates so he would relax a little and not scare me away with his overbearing personality.

  4. #4
    Tempbanned
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Enneagram
    8w9
    Posts
    14,031

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    my ENTJ said he took 4 shots of vodka on each of our first three dates so he would relax a little and not scare me away with his overbearing personality.
    I know the feeling intimately.

    Although, this problem only comes up if I'm into the girl. As an ENTJ, I see everything in black and white, it either is or it isnt. This includes relationships. So, I either fall head over heals (rarely) and maybe end up scaring them off, or I'm completely uninterested except for the night time activities.

  5. #5
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    1w9 sp/sx
    Posts
    2,128

    Default

    I perceive my dark side as being an inability to gradient my inferior Fi. I either feel too much, or feel nothing at all. This can lead to some very dark thoughts.

    I had the odd realization that i currently feel almost emotionally dead.

    in my past I have had very dark, inferior Fi. Over time I've learned that I am much better, more functioning person, when not under inferior Fi. Its been a very natural progression, almost like a fog has been clearing in the past year or so. I simply do not "feel" as greatly. I no longer get over enthralled over a relationship, a song, an argument or anything really.

    Its almost bittersweet. I know I am better for it. I now hate 80% of my music. I actually cringe when I put itunes on random. I cant stand anything overtly sappy anymore. this sort of cynicism, isnt a bitter pouting. Its a genuine "lack of response". Emotionally dead. It allows me to be a much more functioning person, but it almost makes me wonder if Im somehow missing out on "the human experience". I think emotions are what drive even the most rational of people to simply live. I highly doubt einstein would of been so driven to solve, if he hadnt derived an emotional pleasure response from doing so.

    So now i kind of descend into an opposite dark side. Rather than inferior Fi, its an existence centered around not feeling. I get a lot done, i feel happier on the whole. However, I fear that one day I may decide that nothing really makes me happy. Even though there's someone who I'm intimate with, in my life as of now, I still fear that i may not ever really be able to love. Upon realizing that I have no gradient control over the faucet of inferior Fi, I have decided to simply never turn it on.

    my darkside: an ENTJ who was once enthralled and weighed by inferior Fi, and an ENTJ who is now emotionally dead.
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...tml#post429936

    as far as only seeing things as black and white, welcome to the club. things like friends with benefits, being in that "we'll see" zone, etc i cant stand it either.

    I tend to either scare girls off with intensity, or be playing it "sooooo cool" that i show no interest and then loose them that way haha.


    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    my ENTJ said he took 4 shots of vodka on each of our first three dates so he would relax a little and not scare me away with his overbearing personality.
    see that wouldnt work for me. cuz then id be soooo relaxed that id never go in for the kill...but then like ur bf probably knows, me sober and wanting to slay you is just too intense for some people haha ...btw i never thought i could want an ESFP so badly for all the shit they get talked about on this board.... but at the end of the day the ESFP just wanted sex from whoever would give it and so off she went with some meaningless thing in the midst of our little deal......

  6. #6
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Posts
    18,086

    Default

    YEAH!!!!! well try being an enfp!
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #7
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    1w9 sp/sx
    Posts
    2,128

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    YEAH!!!!! well try being an enfp!
    ENFP telling me to come try something?

  8. #8
    Pose! Salt n' pepper's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    8w9
    Posts
    2,008

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Babylon Candle View Post
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...tml#post429936

    as far as only seeing things as black and white, welcome to the club. things like friends with benefits, being in that "we'll see" zone, etc i cant stand it either.
    I can totally relate. "Stick around, wait and see" is just NOT one of my favorit things to do.

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    693

    Default

    I'd say the only way is too get your feelings seriously wounded in a way that defies all logic. A way with a ton of gray areas. You have to learn what your feelings are in order to get control over them.Ni will teach you alot here also.The cool part is that after you ride the emotions out you feel much wiser, stronger and better equipped to carry out your plans. Afterall, your still an entj.

  10. #10
    Tempbanned
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Enneagram
    8w9
    Posts
    14,031

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Frank View Post
    I'd say the only way is too get your feelings seriously wounded in a way that defies all logic. A way with a ton of gray areas. You have to learn what your feelings are in order to get control over them.Ni will teach you alot here also.The cool part is that after you ride the emotions out you feel much wiser, stronger and better equipped to carry out your plans. Afterall, your still an entj.
    I guess so...

    It just sucks that the emotional school of hard knocks is pretty much the only way to learn for an ENTJ.

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFJ] Questions about ENFJs from an ENFP
    By air in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 06-29-2012, 08:31 PM
  2. [ENFP] ENFPs- Question from an ISTJ
    By IZthe411 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 134
    Last Post: 12-31-2010, 07:06 PM
  3. [MBTItm] Why the INFP male is the ideal match from an ENTJ female perspective
    By Harlow_Jem in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 96
    Last Post: 10-29-2010, 07:50 PM
  4. [ENTJ] how do you argue with an ENTJ?
    By miss fortune in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 136
    Last Post: 03-08-2008, 02:57 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO