I perceive my dark side as being an inability to gradient my inferior Fi. I either feel too much, or feel nothing at all. This can lead to some very dark thoughts.
I had the odd realization that i currently feel almost emotionally dead.
in my past I have had very dark, inferior Fi. Over time I've learned that I am much better, more functioning person, when not under inferior Fi. Its been a very natural progression, almost like a fog has been clearing in the past year or so. I simply do not "feel" as greatly. I no longer get over enthralled over a relationship, a song, an argument or anything really.
Its almost bittersweet. I know I am better for it. I now hate 80% of my music. I actually cringe when I put itunes on random. I cant stand anything overtly sappy anymore. this sort of cynicism, isnt a bitter pouting. Its a genuine "lack of response". Emotionally dead. It allows me to be a much more functioning person, but it almost makes me wonder if Im somehow missing out on "the human experience". I think emotions are what drive even the most rational of people to simply live. I highly doubt einstein would of been so driven to solve, if he hadnt derived an emotional pleasure response from doing so.
So now i kind of descend into an opposite dark side. Rather than inferior Fi, its an existence centered around not feeling. I get a lot done, i feel happier on the whole. However, I fear that one day I may decide that nothing really makes me happy. Even though there's someone who I'm intimate with, in my life as of now, I still fear that i may not ever really be able to love. Upon realizing that I have no gradient control over the faucet of inferior Fi, I have decided to simply never turn it on.
my darkside: an ENTJ who was once enthralled and weighed by inferior Fi, and an ENTJ who is now emotionally dead.