I'm sure I appear to run hot and cold, but sometimes I just know it's better for me to hurt a person's feelings a little by just telling them I don't want to hang out rather than hang out and be a million miles a way mentally. If I'm really caught up in a project or working through some idea, it's just easier for everyone to let me be. The one exception, of course, is my children. The older ones are really good at sensing when I'm here physically but not entirely here mentally and are finally old enough to understand it's just a matter of being psychologically busy. The youngest is still small enough that his needs will wrench me away from my own preoccupations. As soon as he crawls into my bed or up onto my lap, I'm back. Fortunately two of the three are NTs themselves so have their own little realities to occupy them most of the time.
I thought this was a dirty joke at first....... Actually had to read the thread to get the gist.
People say I do this, that I will be warm and lively and then take it personally when I disappear. It's really not personal, and I would see it as more of a matter of distance (near vs far) than (cold vs hot). I still like them, my interest in them probably hasn't waned if I call them a friend. I am just somewhere else in my head. Doesn't change the attachment I feel to them. The distance is a good thing, and if someone is uncomfortable with it, I'm cool with them asking so I can be honest and try to build understanding.
"Beware Those Who Are ALWAYS READING BOOKS" - Bukowski
"How dreadful!" cried Lord Henry. "I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect." ~ Oscar Wilde - The picture of Dorian Gray