I also wonder if NTs ever feel "other" because of this trait, as they may feel that their *natural* way of being doesn't fit the expectations of others?? Just like ENFPs sometimes feel "other" because their *natural* way of being in the world (creating a high level of rapport w/others and then being accused of flirting), doesn't seem to fit with many people's *idea* of what is to be expected or not. It's like the world keeps telling us (each on our own ways) "you're doing it wrong!" lol...
I have no idea what you just said.
Originally Posted by professor goodstain
I still think she has a type/c user account and is watching all this.
Hmmm this is where we need an NF/NT translation dictionary published!
What I mean is - does the world ever make you feel *guilty* for your needs - for example, your needs for personal space and autonomy?
Read: Do you ever feel "bad" when you want to completely blow off the company Christmas party? Skip a family gathering? Stay home with a good book on a Friday night? Not go to lunch with the "work gang?" Etc.
The world wants me to feel guilty, but I rarely succumb to that feeling. I could care less.
And no, I don't feel bad when I blow off a family thing. When I make a decision, I rarely feel anything about it, much less "bad".
And again, I don't feel like I need more personal space than the next person - on the contrary, I feel some people can't be alone with themselves and avoid personal space like the plague. 2 sides to every coin...
I don't feel like I need more personal space than the next person - on the contrary, I feel some people can't be alone with themselves and avoid personal space like the plague. 2 sides to every coin...
Excellent turning of the tables! Love the reframe! I may have to steal this...
<thinks> Hmmm... So to reframe my ENFP "friendliness" - from now on I will see it as too many people are just too uptight!
I do exactly what you describe. I will feel like being around others one day, and as a result, I will be very engaged. During times where I don't feel like being around anyone, or I feel like doing other things by myself, I often "go under" for a few days, so to speak.
People that don't know me well have sometimes suspected that I don't answer their emails or calls because I don't like them or something. It usually just takes a couple of instances of this, though, combined with my continued desire to hang out with that person, to convince them that not answering my phone or going out with them on Friday does not have anything to do with them.
It seems like you are already aware that this is the case with your NT, though, so I am having trouble figuring out what problem you want discussed or solved in this thread.
I'm with Orangey. I generally do my own thing until someone tells me they want more of my attention.. at which point, I may or may not decide to give it to them. Generally though if I'm in a relationship or close to someone, I have a pretty high level amount of energy for that person.
Just don't unleash that crazy F "love me!" on her, or she will run screaming. Not really ..but maybe.
seriously though I hope you're keeping your obsessive thoughts to your self.. or this forum anyway. I'm not trying to be insulting. I'm guilty of it as well.
I find if someone comes on too strong, I get bored of them. I like someone I need to figure out. If you want to keep an INTP focused, keep them thinking. I don't think you have much to worry about though. She said she likes you right? AND she even shared some feelings? That's a huge step in itself. lol
In regard to the thread topic. I know I need my alone time and I don't feel bad for ditching those that want me to come along to do whatever if I don't feel like doing it. In relationships It's rare that I would dismiss time spent with them. Either I'm comfortable with them enough to where I can almost get my "alone time" with them or I'm not comfortable enough to blow them off in fear that they might think I don't like them. I may or may not initiate time together for periods of time though.
Dude, been there, done that -- I unraveled (just a tiny bit) when I first met my INTP. But honestly, if you want to have a future with your INTP, you need to find a hobby to get your mind off it/her and prevent you from going el loco / getting too needy. Cause guess what -- a lot these things will be chronic issues that you'll need to get used to as you continue to have a relationship with your INTP. Neediness to INTPs is like stinky, cheap cologne -- the moment they detect it, they run the other way...and as NFs, its hard for us to keep our feelings in check.
“Relationships-of all kinds-are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers." I think this is especially true for INTPs. She likes you and trust that.