[NT] Does Sex = Love for NTs

[seeker22]

Fair enough, jenocide - you make a good point. God forbid someone be reckless or careless with an NFs heart/feelings/emotions... That was actually quite ... umm... er... tender? thoughtful? of you... Is that possible?

 

[professor goodstain]

Fine. NTs have some connection to a commitment to capacity.

 

[seeker22]

I think you nailed it Jennifer - at SOME point the INTP will be compelled to reflect on the MEANING of the encounters... And consequently, could potentially flee! LOL! It's risky business these INTP encounters I tell ya!

 

[93JC]

LOL... spoken like only a true INTP. I see your point - it's actually quite comforting.

For an ENFP like me though, usually, when you're truly INTO someone... you don't just meet up a couple times a week for sex and never talk or text or hang out in between! You don't limit contact and dole it out like a precious gem, one pellet at a time!

It's hard for me to comment further, given I don't know the particulars of your relationship. You're making it sound as though you screw each other a couple times a week and that's it, that's all you ever see her for, that's all the interaction you ever have. Is this the case? Or are you being melodramatic and exaggerating?

I don't want to jump to conclusions and be prejudicial, but, you know... being ENFP and all, you do tend to blow things out of proportion from my perspective.

 

[Synarch]

I'm going to say something and I really hope it lands the right way... I don't mean to offend, I just want to be honest (from my own perspective): I wouldn't bother having sex with an NF unless I really really really like that person. Generally, it's too much work for me to keep them emotionally fulfilled.

In my opinion, you shouldn't have sexual relations with someone unless you really really like them anyway.

 

[professor goodstain]

Lookin at that OP one more time and reading the posts...hate to say it...she's playin ya dude. Who knows, she could even be watchin all this. Is she with you right now?

 

[seeker22]

Ha ha ha!! Not being dramatic - this time anyway. Yes, we meet up a couple times a week, have amazing conversation and sex, and no one knows - we keep it a secret. Strange... But to actually admit what is going on to anyone would make it too "real." We never seem to make it out of the house... She has made it clear how into the sex and our connection she is, and that she has feelings for me... But they feel too intense for her and she is unsure how to handle them which freaks her out... She said she has never felt this "intense" with someone before...

 

[Synarch]

I'm involved with an INTP who seems to be able to keep sex purely recreational - or at least, detached. I can't read her. When together, she is completely present and into the moment. When apart, she falls off the face of the earth. Question: is it easier for NTs to detach from the emotions involved in sex? As I said in a post elsewhere, for an ENFP sex + no contact for next few days = gasp!! Although, she does always return - on her terms...

Why aren't you talking with her about it? Write her an email if it's too hard to say. Be honest.

 

[Lasting_Pain]

I'm not sure how to answer the question.

I'm capable of viewing sex as an experience in itself.
But I am simultaneously capable of viewing it as a huge huge huge connection with someone else.

I'm not sure how this leaves me feeling.

I think I could enjoy it during even if it's just recreational (although it means more if it's with someone I'm connected to), but afterwards I can't help but reflect on it and what it all "meant" even if at the time it wasn't reflective of much at all.

Same here, we do not take sex lightly.

 

[seeker22]

Not talking about it with her because she is very uncomfortable with "feeling" talk.

 

[Synarch]

Not talking about it with her because she is very uncomfortable with "feeling" talk.

Danger, danger.

 

[professor goodstain]

Does she know you have a gig on type/c? She is obviously not there with you right now. Do you fully understand the psyche of an INTP? She could verywell be observing this. Have you ever heard the term (stalk)?

 

[simulatedworld]

I think you nailed it Jennifer - at SOME point the INTP will be compelled to reflect on the MEANING of the encounters... And consequently, could potentially flee! LOL! It's risky business these INTP encounters I tell ya!

Yeah don't fuck around with INTP women.

Or do, but know that they're probably just fucking (around with) you. It's generally not wise to get too attached. If you can't do it without getting attached, don't.

Ts in general are more capable of separating sex from emotion. They can get emotionally involved too, which does improve the experience, but it's not a necessity just to have a good time.

The whole "boo hoo sex is no good if I'm not HEAD OVER HEELS IN PURE LOVE WAAHHH" thing is a pretty NF viewpoint, in my experience.

Does she know you have a gig on type/c? She is obviously not there with you right now. Do you fully understand the psyche of an INTP? She could verywell be observing this. Have you ever heard the term (stalk)?

Seems like an INTJ would be more likely to do that. Do INTPs really care enough to stalk anyone consistently before they get bored and move on to something more interesting?

 

[jenocyde]

In my opinion, you shouldn't have sexual relations with someone unless you really really like them anyway.

Why?

 

[Synarch]

Why?

Why would you have sex with someone you didn't like? Why would you be intimate with someone you didn't like?

 

[jenocyde]

Ha ha ha!! Not being dramatic - this time anyway. Yes, we meet up a couple times a week, have amazing conversation and sex, and no one knows - we keep it a secret. Strange... But to actually admit what is going on to anyone would make it too "real." We never seem to make it out of the house... She has made it clear how into the sex and our connection she is, and that she has feelings for me... But they feel too intense for her and she is unsure how to handle them which freaks her out... She said she has never felt this "intense" with someone before...

So, if she's made all this clear, what's the problem?

 

[simulatedworld]

Why would you have sex with someone you didn't like? Why would you be intimate with someone you didn't like?

Are you being sarcastic?

Because it feels good, and it's fun.

Because people have physical needs and a deep emotional connection is not always available.

 

[professor goodstain]

Are you being sarcastic?

Because it feels good, and it's fun.

Because people have physical needs and a deep emotional connection is not always available.

A prostitute?

 

[jenocyde]

Why would you have sex with someone you didn't like? Why would you be intimate with someone you didn't like?

There is a difference between liking someone and really really liking someone. I made that clear to assuage his feelings.

And also, sex feels good. Not everything we do on this earth is for a greater purpose, or makes you a greater person. Sometimes people have sex.

 

[Synarch]

Are you being sarcastic?

Because it feels good, and it's fun.

Because people have physical needs and a deep emotional connection is not always available.

Sure, worry about your physical needs. But, there are consequences. For one thing, even if someone says they're just into something casual they may not be in reality AND they could develop feelings later. As could you. Also there's no such thing as purely physical intimacy. Not in my opinion. If you could be truly intimate with anyone, how is this intimacy? To me this just means you're a slut (male or female). You're open to almost anyone to be intimate with you. This is not true intimacy. Also, it's just not a good idea. Just to be devil's advocate against myself, my beliefs may be informed by my own experiences and philosophy. I am willing to be wrong that it may not be bad for all people. My hunch is it is.