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  1. #1
    Senior Member Misty_Mountain_Rose's Avatar
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    Default INTJ / INTJ interactions

    I had the strangest epiphany today... and I'm still not really sure how best to word it but here goes.

    When I've been around other INTJ's (without knowing that's what they were until much later) I realize now that I've always had the same 'feeling' when I'm around them. The same kind of... energy. I can't really describe it, but I can give a good example.

    My boss, who I recently discovered is an INTJ, and I have worked together for over two years. In that entire time I have learned less about him than anyone else (I had him pegged as a secretive INFJ) ... and every time we pass each other, be it in the hall or around the office somewhere, all we do is give each other the evil eye. And it isn't just one of us, but both of us simultaneously. Its done in jest... but the feeling I've always had of him is a kind of humorous, 'keep at a distance', suspicion.

    The best mental image I can think of is two tigers, walking circles around each other, eyeing the other down and wondering if they should make peace or try to eat each other. Its a tense kind of feeling, not really distrustful so much as wary... it really is hard to describe.

    I realized today that I've had that same feeling with every INTJ I've known.

    Has anyone else experienced this or is it just me?
    Embrace the possibilities.

  2. #2
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    All the INTJs I know are besties. They have like a special INTJ clique that nobody else could possibly understand, apparently.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Aleph-One's Avatar
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    You know the show Highlander? Being an INTJ is like that. We can sense each other, we must destroy each other and, in the end, there can be only one.

    I first noticed this when there was this guy, and I hated him. I thought he was a smug, disingenuous contrarian who would argue semantics but do so from what seemed to be his own private lexicon. Then someone once said to me, "You know why you hate him, don't you?" I saw where this was going and warned this person that, if they finished that thought, they'd become yucca fertilizer in the Nevada desert. They did anyway. "You hate him because he's just like you."

    I think it goes something like this: INTJs are very impatient with anything the perceive as persistent stupidity. INTJs also never back down in an argument. So if one INTJ thinks another INTJ is wrong, it's off and running. Neither one will concede because they both believe they've made their point clearly and that only an idiot would be able to listen to their case and not agree with it. They quickly start to think of the other INTJ as dishonest or obstuse, and get very angry because they need to continually rephrase and rehash their arguments in a different way. In the INTJ back-and-forth the hatred grows geometrically, compounding itself until external circumstances force the argument to end (neither one of them will end the argument themselves, they always need to have the last word because they think that any point left without a rebuttal is a point to the other person).
    Aleph-One, you look like the kind of person who would spend his spare time building a giant robot to hold the government for ransom. -Some Guy on the Internet

  4. #4
    Senior Member Misty_Mountain_Rose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aleph-One View Post
    You know the show Highlander? Being an INTJ is like that. We can sense each other, we must destroy each other and, in the end, there can be only one.
    YOU UNDERSTAND!

    Embrace the possibilities.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aleph-One View Post

    I think it goes something like this: INTJs are very impatient with anything the perceive as persistent stupidity. INTJs also never back down in an argument. So if one INTJ thinks another INTJ is wrong, it's off and running. Neither one will concede because they both believe they've made their point clearly and that only an idiot would be able to listen to their case and not agree with it. They quickly start to think of the other INTJ as dishonest or obstuse, and get very angry because they need to continually rephrase and rehash their arguments in a different way. In the INTJ back-and-forth the hatred grows geometrically, compounding itself until external circumstances force the argument to end (neither one of them will end the argument themselves, they always need to have the last word because they think that any point left without a rebuttal is a point to the other person).
    All of this is spot on concerning the INTJs I've met who have value systems completely opposed to mine. I still value discourse though, so I've been trying to learn to remain cordial while arguing.

    However, most INTJs I've met I actually feel a really great energy with. It's like a quiet understanding....like we just "get" each other, and the more we talk to each other, the more we find that we share each other's quirks and the like. It's really comforting, because I don't find that often. It's also great to be able to have a debate with someone and know that they won't take anything personally.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Misty_Mountain_Rose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by squibbles View Post
    However, most INTJs I've met I actually feel a really great energy with. It's like a quiet understanding....like we just "get" each other, and the more we talk to each other, the more we find that we share each other's quirks and the like. It's really comforting, because I don't find that often. It's also great to be able to have a debate with someone and know that they won't take anything personally.
    I get this more often with INTP's than INTJ's. I get along smashingly well with the INTPs I know. They're a hoot.
    Embrace the possibilities.

  7. #7
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
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    No actually... the distance thing is natural... but it's more about respecting the other person's space sort of thing. For the most part I find it quite easy to work with other INTJs. Heck over half of the people in my undergrad's program are INTJs :rolli: True, there's a lot of drive for perfectionism around. It's just all for the good of improving our education...
    My stuff (design & other junk) lives here: http://nnbox.ca

  8. #8
    Member Xenofile's Avatar
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    A couple of my best friends are other INTJ's. We have a sort of unannounced club and when we're together we just have this synergy where we all know exactly what the other two are thinking because we're all thinking exactly the same thing. Everyone else around us just gets mystified and has no idea what we're talking about within around 10 seconds of when we start talking, and that's the way we like it.

    Everyone once in a while we will have a bit of an argument, but that's usually solved pretty easily by some time apart, giving our I batteries some recharge time

  9. #9
    Senior Member Aleph-One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Misty_Mountain_Rose View Post
    I get this more often with INTP's than INTJ's. I get along smashingly well with the INTPs I know. They're a hoot.
    Yeah, I almost always have at least one INTP toadie.

    Edit: I have a feeling this is going to be a very short thread.
    Aleph-One, you look like the kind of person who would spend his spare time building a giant robot to hold the government for ransom. -Some Guy on the Internet

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmandahalf View Post
    All the INTJs I know are besties. They have like a special INTJ clique that nobody else could possibly understand, apparently.
    Sounds like a cheesy television sitcom. Or a horror film where many people will die.


    Quote Originally Posted by Aleph-One View Post
    I first noticed this when there was this guy, and I hated him. I thought he was a smug, disingenuous contrarian who would argue semantics but do so from what seemed to be his own private lexicon. Then someone once said to me, "You know why you hate him, don't you?" I saw where this was going and warned this person that, if they finished that thought, they'd become yucca fertilizer in the Nevada desert. They did anyway. "You hate him because he's just like you."
    Mirror syndrome. It happened to me while dating one. All of my flaws were magnified under a microscope, by observing this person. I'm sure that's what led to the demise of it, and the fact that we were both immature.


    Quote Originally Posted by Misty_Mountain_Rose View Post
    I get this more often with INTP's than INTJ's. I get along smashingly well with the INTPs I know. They're a hoot.
    Yes. INTPs are my guilty pleasure.

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