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  1. #1
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Default INTJs, how strong sense of self do you have?

    Here is something I am wondering for quite sometime.


    When I take a look at people around me it looks to me that they don't have so strong sense of self as I do. This works even for other introverts.

    As a person I always place myself outside of the system. Even in the cases when that is not true. It is just that I look at things from detached perspective if I really want to do something about it.

    But the thing is that this perspective is the real me. Everything else is more or less just a mechanism to get along.
    So you always have 3 components in your life:You, system and problem.

    It looks to me that if I ever get into a relationship there will always be a emotional gap beetween us. Which will not be that small.
    It has nothing to with trust or love. It is just that I function this way.


    Somewhere I came across the article that says that all of this has something to with Ni. Since Ni serves as a connection with subconscious. So a person gets better sense of self because of this.


    Also I am curious about how this looks from outside. Since I doubt that it is invisible.

  2. #2
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    true character is all thats left after a man has lost everything else.

    put yourself in situations where you got no clue what to do...a relationship sounds like a situation for you. thats when youll find out how strong your sense of self really is

    people might seem insecure because your not in the game. your sitting on the side giving commentary...the hell do you know what they are going through. making shit up in your head is easiest thing to do

  3. #3
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    Somewhere I came across the article that says that all of this has something to with Ni. Since Ni serves as a connection with subconscious. So a person gets better sense of self because of this.
    It's being Ni Dom that does it, supposedly. Something about it being dominant and automatically trustworthy ahead of other things. Having Fi seems to help too: something about both trusting that you're right and knowing that you're doing right too and not really needing to check with others for that sense of right.

    Yay us. Boo ENTPs.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Erudur's Avatar
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    I'm not sure I know exactly what you are saying in the OP, but I have always had a very strong sense of self, and self-confidence.

    And like Kalach said. Yay us.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Aleph-One's Avatar
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    There has, for me, always been a very clear demarcation between myself and the rest of the world. It's almost as if I'm detached from it in a way. I don't mean that I'm showing schizoid tendencies or depersonalization, since I don't feel like I'm merely an observer (if I dislike something in the external world, for example, I correct it). But there seems to be a kind of intermediate stage in my sensory experience that my extroverted or sensate friends do not have. So rather than saying I watch the world go by, like watching a movie, I'd say I'm screening the calls I get from reality.

    I would suspect that INTJs have the sharpest delimiters between themselves and the external world of all the types, even more than other types who rely strongly on introverted intuition. The thinking/judging combined with the introverted intuition makes the INTJ prone to almost metaphysical solipsism at times (this is an annoying habit which has prevented me from having any other INTJs among my own friends), and I doubt if there's a stronger expression of self-assuredness than demanding that reality conforms to your will.

    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    Also I am curious about how this looks from outside. Since I doubt that it is invisible.
    Have you ever heard someone say about INTJs that "there's something in their eyes"? It's usually described as a flippant gleam. My guess is that's how it looks from the outside.

  6. #6
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    I used to think I had a strong sense of self....I prided myself on being able to detach myself from my emotions and on being independent from other people's perceptions of me.

    Actually, none of that was true. I just completely repressed/ignored those emotions and dependencies to the point where I literally didn't even know they existed.

    That illusion was eventually shattered, and I realized I was detaching from those things because they were the one thing in my life that was out of my control and illogical, which didn't sit well with me. For me, part of this epiphany included the realization that my life is in God's hands, and I don't have to control every bit of it or figure everything out, and that His perception of me is what is important, not other people's.

    So NOW I would say I'm on the way to having a strong sense of self. I suspect that a lot of people who think they have a strong sense of self and cite detachment of evidence of this are fooling themselves, just like I did. In my opinion, detachment* is something we do when we are extremely intimidated by something and know we can't handle it...not exactly what "strong sense of self" means to me. (Not saying this applies specifically to the OP, just my own theory.)


    *When I say detachment, I don't mean the healthy ability to not get wholly sucked in by everything going on around you...I mean the paranoid tendency to put up walls so that nothing bad ever has the chance to touch you.

  7. #7
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Ever seen an INTJ running naked through a stadium wearing a boxer that looked like an elephant ?

    Strong sense about themselves directed towards the INTJ themselves, always is the totally most wrong approach
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  8. #8
    Senior Member matmos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    Ever seen an INTJ running naked through a stadium wearing a boxer that looked like an elephant ?
    Shoot. Those photos...

    1986. What a year.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalach View Post
    It's being Ni Dom that does it, supposedly. Something about it being dominant and automatically trustworthy ahead of other things. Having Fi seems to help too: something about both trusting that you're right and knowing that you're doing right too and not really needing to check with others for that sense of right.
    Yes.

    People that depend on others' judgment, feelings, and opinions seem to be much weaker in terms of who they are as people, than the latter.


    Quote Originally Posted by Aleph-One View Post
    I doubt if there's a stronger expression of self-assuredness than demanding that reality conforms to your will.

    Have you ever heard someone say about INTJs that "there's something in their eyes"? It's usually described as a flippant gleam. My guess is that's how it looks from the outside.
    Agreed.

    I've heard the look has scared, intimidated, or made uneasy those who aren't sure of themselves. It was once described to me as, "seeing right through them." "All their flaws and weaknesses laid bare."

  10. #10
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    I have an incredibly strong sense of self; all of my self-concept is internally generated. I'm part of many groups, but I'm not part of many groups. I'm in them, but I'm detached, I never consider myself a true member. How I usually see it is that most people run in herds, I usually just run along side, but not within a herd for a certain amount of time, and leave whenever I want to.

    I also hate being defined by anything other than myself. If anyone were to identify me by a group that I'm 'part' of such as debater or weight lifter, I'd be upset, because I see myself as me and nothing else.

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