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[ENTP] ENTPs and relationship sabotage?

Ardea

o edward cullen!
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:devil:



Did anyone ever find out what "zigazig" means?


((kissing, cuddling, apparently...))
 

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
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so/sx
OK, I'm going to put it out there.


I think I'm in love. And I'm scared out of my mind. I'm scared of getting hurt. I'm scared of rejection. How can I NOT mess this one up?

I thought I should ask you guys, since you seem to have a pretty good grasp of how my mind works.

Heh. Understanding what I do and knowing how to overcome it are two different things. G'luck.

we're all in the same boat
i have a question
does anyone seem to turn more 'f' for the person their with? not in general or as a whole, but just for them. like an exception.
is it everyone, or a girl thing, or a type thing, or is it just me >_>

i really dont like it but i turn really mushy and sentimental and less rational :blush:
ew and im actually confessing about it
but im desperate for help with a current situation.
idk, im just confused :violin:

Amen to that! Yes I do and I freaken hate it.
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
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Nah. I'm just determined.

My mom said that there's a BIG CHANCE that I might never have LOVE. True love. Respect. Growth. Dynamism. Sacrifice. Fireworks. Horseblinders. Real.

I've been in love once before. Maybe twice. And now... I won't settle for anything less.

On the one hand, that's sad she feels that way. Almost as if she's never been in love. On the other hand, she doesn't know her ass from a hole in the ground. Just because there's a big chance of something doesn't mean you should even think of it.

Wow. The thing is, he's not like that though. He's such a man's man and a ladies' man. Very "macho" for lack of a better word. Such a player, too.

We both have been circling each other like buzzards for the past 10 years, just waiting for the other one to drop. Really sick shit.

Damn, I hope I'm not mean and sadistic...

You of all people should know we're not always how we seem on the outside. Even a man's man has feelings. And, if he really did love you, it might really break him in half like a cloven stone. If someone really did love you, how could they react otherwise? If you see this devastation as a weakness, if you find the weakness that comes with loving someone who doesn't love you as something pathetic then I don't see how you could ever truly be comfortable with someone loving you. It sounds like you only respect those who don't care completely.

Sweetie, he didn't just cry, he crumbled. It was a complete breakdown. The man I saw as my rock turned to dust. It was not pretty.

You expect the people you're with to be unaffected by you? Do you see how this in conflict with relationship?
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
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You of all people should know we're not always how we seem on the outside. Even a man's man has feelings. And, if he really did love you, it might really break him in half like a cloven stone. If someone really did love you, how could they react otherwise? If you see this devastation as a weakness, if you find the weakness that comes with loving someone who doesn't love you as something pathetic then I don't see how you could ever truly be comfortable with someone loving you. It sounds like you only respect those who don't care completely.

You expect the people you're with to be unaffected by you? Do you see how this in conflict with relationship?

Oh, that wasn't that bad at all - actually kind of sweet. :hug:

I don't view crying as a weakness. But I have to admit I was very uncomfortable with his level of emotional expression. It shook me to the core. I felt it was uncalled for, and that there were more effective ways to communicate with me. It's what I truly thought in that moment, right or wrong - it's honest.

Yes, he has feelings and he is entitled to feel them. I respect his feelings completely. I guess you wouldn't quite get the whole thing because you don't know the whole story but this has been going on for a long time. Never once, in 10 years of on and off, did we ever express emotions on that scale. He asked me in earnest to marry him this past summer and I laughed at him because it was absurd. Then he in turn laughed at the situation.

A few years prior, when my feelings were deeper than his (we go back and forth with this constantly), I made a daring and aggressive move towards him and he completely rejected me, and then he laughed in my face about how silly I was behaving. Which in turn made me laugh. And I appreciated that, it took the pressure off things.

He then proceeded to laugh about my "bold move" to all our friends, in front of me, at dinner one night. I have to admit, it was funny, so I laughed alongside them. Shit is just comical sometimes.

Now all of a sudden, he is pushing for this commitment AND showing all this emotion - it's throwing me off. The beauty of us was that there was no commitment, no heavy emotional battleground. I feel like I don't even know him at all anymore. I don't respect him less, but I was totally shocked and wanted to get the hell out of there.

The point is that I don't want a "traditional" relationship with him, and he doesn't with me. If we both wanted this, we would have made this happen a long time ago. He's seen me with so many other boyfriends and I've dealt with all his girlfriends. So I don't understand why all of a sudden he's reacting so emotionally. Can you help me understand this? Or maybe it's better that I don't know, actually. It's easier to walk away.
 

Synarch

Once Was
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Yea, I don't really get your history. That's valid.

It sounds like a fucked up dynamic, so it's probably all for the best for both of you.
 

Ardea

o edward cullen!
Joined
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He wants what he can't have/what he's taken for granted.

Burn that bridge.

You deserve better any way.
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
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Oh, c'mon man, cut me some slack. It wasn't a fucked up dynamic, it was beautiful. The most perfect thing I ever had with anyone... And he went and ruined it.
 

Synarch

Once Was
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Oh, c'mon man, cut me some slack. It wasn't a fucked up dynamic, it was beautiful. The most perfect thing I ever had with anyone... And he went and ruined it.

Sounds like you're just romanticizing. You guys laughed at each other about marital overtures. What am I missing?
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
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Sounds like you're just romanticizing. You guys laughed at each other about marital overtures. What am I missing?

You're missing the fact that he is my kindred spirit.

Neither of use view marriage as this sacred rite, like you do, so it was comical that he even asked me.
 

Synarch

Once Was
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You're missing the fact that he is my kindred spirit.

Neither of use view marriage as this sacred rite, like you do, so it was comical that he even asked me.

Fair enough. I could argue with that, but that's just my nature to argue.
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
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Fair enough. I could argue with that, but that's just my nature to argue.

All in all, what you said is probably true in varying degrees. The sad part is that I do have very strong feelings for him, but after so many years, I don't think either of us trusts the other one anymore to continue. We both changed. For instance, he was being completely earnest with me, and I was unable to laugh. It's really sad to end this.
 

Synarch

Once Was
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All in all, what you said is probably true in varying degrees. The sad part is that I do have very strong feelings for him, but after so many years, I don't think either of us trusts the other one anymore to continue. We both changed. For instance, he was being completely earnest with me, and I was unable to laugh. It's really sad to end this.

Maybe you're just growing up.
 
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