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  1. #11
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    And on the rare occasions when I actually like someone, this happens:


    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Well, I have noticed when I begin a relationship that I tend to "test" people. I think it's because I am so guarded and cautious that I want to make sure someone really cares about me. This might seem like sabotage.

    Either way, for me: relationships = FAIL

  2. #12
    o edward cullen! Ardea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Self-sabotage. I know a thing or two about it. My friends always comment on my choice of romantic partners, and the lack of cohesion or pattern in my choices. They say that I piss in the gene pool quite frequently. In a way, they are correct because I never set out looking for the perfect mate, in my mind he doesn't exist. I don't even actively look for partners, it never crosses my mind to do so. I've always felt I was destined to single, and I've always been completely fine with that. Life is good either way.

    I fill up my days hanging around people who *interest* me. But the problem is that pretty much everyone on the planet is interesting to me in some way. I chat with everyone from the cop to the robber, equally fascinated by both. So, as I explore humankind, I tend to fall into relationships with those who simply declare themselves to be my boyfriend. I guess after a certain amount of time has passed, and I'm still hanging around, they feel that this is the next logical step or something. It's the only thing I'm pretty passive about in life. In another thread, I've equated it with being clubbed over the head and dragged back to the cave. I usually get stunned at first, then the lack of oxygen makes me drift into sleepy acceptance for a while. After a few months I slowly process what just happened, panic, then I furiously gnaw at my own foot in order to escape the trap.

    It doesn't matter if said person is in fact the perfect choice for me, the point is I feel trapped since I never made the active decision to be in that relationship. And then the need to escape becomes overwhelming, if only on principle alone.


    About 75% of what you just said feels like you looked at my life...

    And, after way too many failed relationships, I've realized that I do this not out of self-sabotage, but instead to serve my desperate need to be free. I cannot be tied down and desperately guarded. I need trust and freedom. We are what we are.

    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Well, I have noticed when I begin a relationship that I tend to "test" people. I think it's because I am so guarded and cautious that I want to make sure someone really cares about me. This might seem like sabotage.
    I do do this. It's to make sure that they're strong enough, though. I always doubt, but if they make it through, they win.

    A friend once told an ex "Well you've made it this far, and you're not broken, so there's something right with you!"
    There might be something to that statement.

    In simple terms, I guess we test to see "if they can hang".



    Combine these two statements... and you get:

    Quote Originally Posted by LifeExplore
    During this period, ENTPs explore the closeness until they can be certain that they have looked at all of the possibilities. Because of this, they are not likely to settle down early. When they do become involved in a relationship, they generally want to maintain as much independence and freedom as their loved one can tolerate. Their mates may need to have high self-esteem and to be independent themselves in order to accept the ENTP need for freedom and novelty.
    Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #13
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Yeah Femme, that's what I was getting at. Very well said.

    Relationships don't feel free when I wake up and find myself trapped in one. If there was someone who would let me dip my toe in the water - slowly and consciously - and allow me to ease in at my own very slow pace... If a man really really could handle me getting out occasionally and let me dive back in again, then I would be in heaven. But that's never been the case, even if I promise not to swim anywhere else in the interim. Possessiveness is the biggest, ugliest turn off for me. I don't think anyone should ever try to own another human being. And that's what it feels like, even if that's not the intent.

  4. #14
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Self-sabotage. I know a thing or two about it. My friends always comment on my choice of romantic partners, and the lack of cohesion or pattern in my choices. They say that I piss in the gene pool quite frequently. In a way, they are correct because I never set out looking for the perfect mate, in my mind he doesn't exist. I don't even actively look for partners, it never crosses my mind to do so. I've always felt I was destined to single, and I've always been completely fine with that. Life is good either way.

    I fill up my days hanging around people who *interest* me. But the problem is that pretty much everyone on the planet is interesting to me in some way. I chat with everyone from the cop to the robber, equally fascinated by both. So, as I explore humankind, I tend to fall into relationships with those who simply declare themselves to be my boyfriend. I guess after a certain amount of time has passed, and I'm still hanging around, they feel that this is the next logical step or something. It's the only thing I'm pretty passive about in life. In another thread, I've equated it with being clubbed over the head and dragged back to the cave. I usually get stunned at first, then the lack of oxygen makes me drift into sleepy acceptance for a while. After a few months I slowly process what just happened, panic, then I furiously gnaw at my own foot in order to escape the trap.

    It doesn't matter if said person is in fact the perfect choice for me, the point is I feel trapped since I never made the active decision to be in that relationship. And then the need to escape becomes overwhelming, if only on principle alone.
    +1 Yep. So go slow and go after someone who gives you a wide latitude. Has their own life and shit.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  5. #15
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Yeah Femme, that's what I was getting at. Very well said.

    Relationships don't feel free when I wake up and find myself trapped in one. If there was someone who would let me dip my toe in the water - slowly and consciously - and allow me to ease in at my own very slow pace... If a man really really could handle me getting out occasionally and let me dive back in again, then I would be in heaven. But that's never been the case, even if I promise not to swim anywhere else in the interim. Possessiveness is the biggest, ugliest turn off for me. I don't think anyone should ever try to own another human being. And that's what it feels like, even if that's not the intent.
    That's why ENTP works with strong INFJ. INFJ are soooo not possessive. Not really. IME, they seem to genuinely consider and care about what you want. You just have to, you know, be up front and shit.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  6. #16
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    ...and shit.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  7. #17
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    I've stopped going after people for serious relationships a long time ago. But good to know that there is a potential type that could appreciate my temperament - just don't know if I'd feel the same way about theirs. I can be such an ass sometimes.

  8. #18
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    I'm mister self sabotage. In a way. Also I'm quite childlike when it comes to dealing with 'people who like me'.
    avoid or do as if nothing happened 'last night'.

    I can be smoother than butter but when it comes to follow up i'm like 'boy..friend? ow, don't u prefer like, drinking buddy? We could meet in clubs, bars and all. It could be fun !

    It's like the walls as closing in on me or something.
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
    Richard Feynman's last recorded words

    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

  9. #19
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    ...and shit.
    Funny.. I just mentioned earlier that it'd only be fitting for an ENTP to follow up his own post like this.

    But anyway. Wholeheartedly agree. You have to be upfront. Cuz.. we do care, don't want to own you.. don't need to own you.
    And shit.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  10. #20
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    I've stopped going after people for serious relationships a long time ago. But good to know that there is a potential type that could appreciate my temperament - just don't know if I'd feel the same way about theirs. I can be such an ass sometimes.
    Nah. You're cool. You just buy into your own bullshit. It's a coping mechanism.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

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