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  1. #161
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lifeintechnicolor View Post
    OK, I'm going to put it out there.


    I think I'm in love. And I'm scared out of my mind. I'm scared of getting hurt. I'm scared of rejection. How can I NOT mess this one up?

    I thought I should ask you guys, since you seem to have a pretty good grasp of how my mind works.
    Number one, props to you for being honest about your fears. That is not easy.

    To me this is the ENTP curse. We feel confident with people when we wear our mask. The mask of ease, enthusiasm, and charm. When we fall in love, it's like getting hit with burrowing bullets that penetrate the shiny armor. We become completely unmanned and powerless. We want to protect ourselves, but we know that to love and be loved we must reveal ourselves like little soft hermit crabs venturing from their shells to meet with another.

    I've thought about this a lot on my own journey and I think the answer is to embrace rejection, embrace hurt. Don't run from it or fear it. The only protection from the fear is to be boldly naked and vulnerable.

    You cannot stop someone from rejecting you. So, best not to worry about it. If someone rejects you they don't love you. So in a way, they do you a favor by allowing you to move forward.

    Good luck to you. You have nothing to fear and everything to gain.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  2. #162
    brat Mitzy's Avatar
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    yeah, i understand
    its just frustrating sometimes how the guys that supposedly like me back, dont show it as much as i do. and i ask myself why. thats not fair! i know how they feel yet they dont express it because they feel out of place when it feels like a natural thing for me to do so. and its mostly just the 't' guys who do this.... :rolli:
    She talks pretty but says mean things

  3. #163
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mitzy View Post
    yeah, i understand
    its just frustrating sometimes how the guys that supposedly like me back, dont show it as much as i do. and i ask myself why. thats not fair! i know how they feel yet they dont express it because they feel out of place when it feels like a natural thing for me to do so. and its mostly just the 't' guys who do this.... :rolli:
    That's why you might find it easier with someone more expressive and deep. Dr. Synarch prescribes INFJ. The thing with INFJ is that you have to find some way for them to communicate comfortably with you, then they will, I think.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  4. #164
    brat Mitzy's Avatar
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    yeah, maybe youre right.
    but i always get stuck with the estp/j's or i/entp's
    theyre all so difficult when it comes to expressing their feelings >:[
    maybe more mature types arent that much of a hassle..
    She talks pretty but says mean things

  5. #165
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mitzy View Post
    yeah, maybe youre right.
    but i always get stuck with the estp/j's or i/entp's
    theyre all so difficult when it comes to expressing their feelings >:[
    maybe more mature types arent that much of a hassle..
    Love is like a Mexican standoff. Everyone's afraid to shoot first. Sling those love bullets and they'll start popping off.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  6. #166
    o edward cullen! Ardea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    You know what? The guilt is gone now. Poof - just like that. Even though he's still sobbing in the next room (ugh)... My rationale took over and I realized that I did nothing wrong (I really didn't!). I decided to tell him my honest feelings and he reacted to it. I can't be responsible for his reactions, only my actions. And I feel that I was honest, fair and kind. I can't force anyone to accept the truth - and I admit it is rather hard to face, at times. But I don't believe in being a martyr or in suffering in silence.

    I can only be me, and if that's not what you want/need/like, then get to f'ing stepping. I still care for him dearly, and this is probably not our last chapter (this is +/- 10 years now...) but I won't pretend something I just don't feel, and I won't accept something I just don't like. Life is too short.

    I am so happy I found you girls, this forum and other ENTPs. It is so refreshing to feel validated for once. Or at least find others who identify with my potentially messed up train of thought. Thanks!!!
    You did what was good and right. Nothing can be held against you. It's good that you were honest with him, and most importantly, with yourself!!!



    Just don't lose your nerve. You've done what's best for you and him.

    Quote Originally Posted by lifeintechnicolor View Post
    OK, I'm going to put it out there.


    I think I'm in love. And I'm scared out of my mind. I'm scared of getting hurt. I'm scared of rejection. How can I NOT mess this one up?

    I thought I should ask you guys, since you seem to have a pretty good grasp of how my mind works.
    You're going to fuck it up one way or another. You're human. Love hurts - ALWAYS. That's the nature of the game.

    Just be calm, honest with yourself, and take some risks.

    You're an ENTP. You have balls, smarts, charm, THE WHOLE package. Just put some feelers out there or something!
    Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #167
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    That's why you might find it easier with someone more expressive and deep. Dr. Synarch prescribes INFJ. The thing with INFJ is that you have to find some way for them to communicate comfortably with you, then they will, I think.
    You and your damn INFJs!!!

    Ok, but in all reality, I've learned not to question you, for you know of what you speak.

  8. #168
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FemmeUrbane View Post
    You did what was good and right. Nothing can be held against you. It's good that you were honest with him, and most importantly, with yourself!!!



    Just don't lose your nerve. You've done what's best for you and him.
    Thanks Femme. Really, I keep doubting myself. No more guilt - just doubting. I can't believe how much I've fucked up with him over all these years. And I can't believe he keeps coming back for more. I keep thinking that maybe some cosmic force keeps throwing us back at each other... (granted, he's fucked up many times, too)

    I had to be very stern with him yesterday for his own sake - to allow him to move on for good. It will never happen with us in the way that he needs it to. It breaks my heart to let him go but I'd rather my heart break for all eternity, than to let his break for one more minute. Sometimes I feel like I'm supposed to be with him, but I just can't take that step. It will never happen. And I have to stop lying to myself about it.

    The worst part though - is the hardest one to admit. I would probably have still been feeling guilty if he hadn't cried about it. Seeing him break down like that made me want to run for the hills and never see him again. It was easier in my head to let him go after seeing that. I know. I'm horrible.

  9. #169
    o edward cullen! Ardea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Thanks Femme. Really, I keep doubting myself. No more guilt - just doubting. I can't believe how much I've fucked up with him over all these years. And I can't believe he keeps coming back for more. I keep thinking that maybe some cosmic force keeps throwing us back at each other... (granted, he's fucked up many times, too)

    I had to be very stern with him yesterday for his own sake - to allow him to move on for good. It will never happen with us in the way that he needs it to. It breaks my heart to let him go but I'd rather my heart break for all eternity, than to let his break for one more minute. Sometimes I feel like I'm supposed to be with him, but I just can't take that step. It will never happen. And I have to stop lying to myself about it.

    The worst part though - is the hardest one to admit. I would probably have still been feeling guilty if he hadn't cried about it. Seeing him break down like that made me want to run for the hills and never see him again. It was easier in my head to let him go after seeing that. I know. I'm horrible.
    Girl, we've got stories to swap!!! Me and my ex-fiance, the INFJ... yeah...

    Come to Texas. We'll drink. And talk. And... figure it out.
    Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #170
    o edward cullen! Ardea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Number one, props to you for being honest about your fears. That is not easy.

    To me this is the ENTP curse. We feel confident with people when we wear our mask. The mask of ease, enthusiasm, and charm. When we fall in love, it's like getting hit with burrowing bullets that penetrate the shiny armor. We become completely unmanned and powerless. We want to protect ourselves, but we know that to love and be loved we must reveal ourselves like little soft hermit crabs venturing from their shells to meet with another.

    I've thought about this a lot on my own journey and I think the answer is to embrace rejection, embrace hurt. Don't run from it or fear it. The only protection from the fear is to be boldly naked and vulnerable.

    You cannot stop someone from rejecting you. So, best not to worry about it. If someone rejects you they don't love you. So in a way, they do you a favor by allowing you to move forward.

    Good luck to you. You have nothing to fear and everything to gain.
    This sounds like a challenge.

    Do you accept Synarch's ENTP challenge???
    Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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