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  1. #111
    Senior Member Aleph-One's Avatar
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    Very positive at the beginning. But after a few months things would always sputter out. No arguments or disagreements -- it would just decline until I threw in the towel. It went that way with INTPs, too. It always seemed like I was the one putting the effort into holding things together, like I was always initiating everything, always doing the pursuing and so on. It wasn't that any of this seemed to be unwelcome, it just seemed like the other person in the relationship was a kind of emotional pillow queen.

    Of course, a sample size of a handful of xNTP women is really nothing to draw a conclusion from. Besides, the relationships were doomed anyway: xNTPs leave coffee ground in the sink and don't pick up their damn laundry.
    Aleph-One, you look like the kind of person who would spend his spare time building a giant robot to hold the government for ransom. -Some Guy on the Internet

  2. #112
    Member lifeintechnicolor's Avatar
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    Another thing that I notice is that ENTP's tend to want to have security before making a move. It bugs my ISTJ friend that I'm relunctant to make the first move with anyone. I'm super cautious and like to slowly dip my toes in the water instead of diving in. There's always the Ne/Se/Ti battle.

  3. #113
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aleph-One View Post
    Very positive at the beginning. But after a few months things would always sputter out.
    Yeah, things tend to dissipate on their own with my relationships, too. But that's usually because I lose interest for whatever reason and just stop making an effort. If I'm really into someone, I really do put my all into it. Like anything new, I become obsessed with it, but then it's hard to keep my interest level up there.

    Then, there is always that fine line between assertive and aggressive. If I take the same energy that I apply for other interests and direct that to my relationships, men would be running scared and screaming - so I do have to hold back a bit when I really like someone.

    Quote Originally Posted by Aleph-One View Post
    Of course, a sample size of a handful of xNTP women is really nothing to draw a conclusion from. Besides, the relationships were doomed anyway: xNTPs leave coffee ground in the sink and don't pick up their damn laundry.
    Well, you have more experience than me, so I take your word for it. And I concur about the laundry. As soon as I walk in the house, I disrobe completely, leaving a trail of clothes everywhere. My brother comes over me and screams at me for leaving my jacket on the floor - but that's where it goes. He also gets annoyed that I leave the shoes that I'll wear the next day in the refrigerator (in a bag, of course). But that's the most logical place to leave them if I don't want to forget my lunch. I don't get how he doesn't get that.

    Quote Originally Posted by lifeintechnicolor View Post
    Another thing that I notice is that ENTP's tend to want to have security before making a move.
    I usually don't want to make a move until I'm absolutely sure it's the right move. I don't take commitments lightly.

  4. #114
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lifeintechnicolor View Post
    As an ENTP, I tend to have difficulties with space. I always fear that I'll be too clingy so I like to keep my space from my partner, which in the end, leads to misinterpreted signals and lost connections. I'm always the one waiting to call my partner or send him a message. Or is that just being a wuss?
    Yea. I do that. I have to restrain myself from messaging non-stop. Usually I just try to make it fun.

    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Yeah, things tend to dissipate on their own with my relationships, too. But that's usually because I lose interest for whatever reason and just stop making an effort. If I'm really into someone, I really do put my all into it. Like anything new, I become obsessed with it, but then it's hard to keep my interest level up there.

    Then, there is always that fine line between assertive and aggressive. If I take the same energy that I apply for other interests and direct that to my relationships, men would be running scared and screaming - so I do have to hold back a bit when I really like someone.
    Yea. People have told me I am intense. Not always in a good way.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  5. #115
    Member lifeintechnicolor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aleph-One View Post
    Very positive at the beginning. But after a few months things would always sputter out. No arguments or disagreements -- it would just decline until I threw in the towel. It went that way with INTPs, too. It always seemed like I was the one putting the effort into holding things together, like I was always initiating everything, always doing the pursuing and so on. It wasn't that any of this seemed to be unwelcome, it just seemed like the other person in the relationship was a kind of emotional pillow queen.

    Of course, a sample size of a handful of xNTP women is really nothing to draw a conclusion from. Besides, the relationships were doomed anyway: xNTPs leave coffee ground in the sink and don't pick up their damn laundry.

    What mess we are indeed. What a joy I must be to my ESTJ mom and ISTJ dad.

    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post

    Then, there is always that fine line between assertive and aggressive. If I take the same energy that I apply for other interests and direct that to my relationships, men would be running scared and screaming - so I do have to hold back a bit when I really like someone.
    Because when we find out that the other person is interested, we don't want to come on too strong, so we do that annoying petty thing called 'playing hard to get' thinking we look more clever to that person when in reality it's just slowly driving them away...maybe I'm just drawing from personal experience now...

  6. #116
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lifeintechnicolor View Post
    Because when we find out that the other person is interested, we don't want to come on too strong, so we do that annoying petty thing called 'playing hard to get' thinking we look more clever to that person when in reality it's just slowly driving them away...maybe I'm just drawing from personal experience now...
    I'm not sure the reasoning relates to me, but the end result is the same. Like synarch, I can be a little too intense - especially in the beginning when I am exploring a new person. I know that level of intensity will drop sharply after a certain amount of time (usually 3-6 months), so it's almost like I'm withholding affection so I can pace myself, to stretch it out more. For my benefit, as well as my love interest's. It's not fair what I do to men sometimes...

  7. #117
    Member lifeintechnicolor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    I'm not sure the reasoning relates to me, but the end result is the same. Like synarch, I can be a little too intense - especially in the beginning when I am exploring a new person. I know that level of intensity will drop sharply after a certain amount of time (usually 3-6 months), so it's almost like I'm withholding affection so I can pace myself, to stretch it out more. For my benefit, as well as my love interest's. It's not fair what I do to men sometimes...
    After reading your post, I would like to change my reasoning. You're absolutely right. There's the fear of being too much for someone, but then eventually 'too much' trickles down into 'nothing at all' (for me, at least). And that's where it ends.

  8. #118
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lifeintechnicolor View Post
    After reading your post, I would like to change my reasoning.
    You're awesome - I do that shit all the time, hahaha...

  9. #119
    Member lifeintechnicolor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    You're awesome - I do that shit all the time, hahaha...


    And because you said the shit word you get a cuddle.


    something I found one boring night...

    Profile by Sandra Krebs Hirsch and Jean Kummerow
    For the ENTP, falling in love occurs when they feel that there is a good fit with the other person. Often within the first meeting, ENTPs will know whether the relationship has any real potential. ENTPs may find it difficult to commit to anyone until the right person comes along. During this period, ENTPs explore the closeness until they can be certain that they have looked at all of the possibilities. Because of this, they are not likely to settle down early. When they do become involved in a relationship, they generally want to maintain as much independence and freedom as their loved one can tolerate. Their mates may need to have high self-esteem and to be independent themselves in order to accept the ENTP need for freedom and novelty.
    It's probably the N that accounts for this. It's not quite a 'love at first sight' thing (), but I've found that I just know if something has potential or not when I first meet someone. Do any of you experience this as well?

  10. #120
    Senior Member Aleph-One's Avatar
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    I do it, too. That's why I'm usually only successful with other NTs. Everyone else seems to think there's something wrong with using mutual interests and mutual attraction as a good reason for starting a relationship. They like to drag their feet waiting for.... well, I'm still not sure what they're waiting for.

    On the other hand, this could explain why so many people in this thread seem to suffer from initially promising relationships that burn out quickly. I don't know if I'd call that a problem, though. I like passionate romance. Too fast is almost fast enough for me.
    Aleph-One, you look like the kind of person who would spend his spare time building a giant robot to hold the government for ransom. -Some Guy on the Internet

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