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Thread: ENTP/ENFP relationship?

  1. #131
    Member Array DisneyFanGirl's Avatar
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    Mar 2012
    7w6 sx


    Okay, this thread is completely derailed but I was asked to tell you about the date I had with the ENTP. It was last weekend and it was... amazing. That's what scares me. The exact things you all described are happening. We're both really attracted to each other and we not only enjoy each other's company, we can be honest and be ourselves around each other. And that's so refreshing. We make each other laugh, we have the same core beliefs, and we're really communication and commitment focused. Honestly, I've never felt this way about anyone else... ever! Is this just Ne? Is there no other foundation? Will his Ti and my Fi clash eventually? I mean I know I'm really sensitive, I told him that. He's totally okay with it. I'm really shy, he's really outgoing and that actually works to our advantage.

    First off, I've known this guy for 2 years and we hit it off from day 1. But we were both in different places in our lives and dating never even occurred to us. Then I got interested last August and dropped some hints. It took until January to get him to ask me out. And he told me he really didn't have any expectations going into it. But... WOW it was like an explosion of feelings.

    This ENTP really isn't very argumentative like they say ENTPs are supposed to be. We've had some disagreements in the past 2 years but nothing we couldn't resolve. I don't really like arguing and it doesn't sound like he does either. We're both free spirits who love to talk about nonsense for a bit and then suddenly dive into a deep conversation out of almost nowhere. Yet the transition is pretty seamless for us. We share almost exactly the same interests and sense of humor. We love spending time together and whenever it's time to say goodbye, it feels like it hasn't been long enough. I've never felt a connection this strong with another guy before (but all my female friends and I are like this, we have a deep friendship and no matter what comes between us, we figure it out).

    As much as everyone's going to groan at me for saying this, I honestly think this could work. I've never felt this deep a connection to any other guy. And I think he feels the same. In fact, while I go on forums like this and pick apart every detail, trying to figure out any possible mistakes we could make, he's been the emotional one who tells me he wants to give this a try. In fact, he's been more of a feeler than I have!! Could this be an Fe/Te clash? I'm not sure. I would love to hear some advice from all of you. I'd like to think we have more than just Ne to sustain a relationship. And since we're both so commitment focused (that's right... I found a guy who wants to commit. Feel jealous, ladies ) we have a very real possibility of taking this past a dating relationship if all goes well for a few years.

    Long story short, ENTPs are AWESOME and I'd like to find out why the ENTP/ENFP relationship keeps failing.

    EDIT: In the enneagram, I'm a 6w7 and I'm pretty sure he's a 7w6. I don't know that for sure but it's an educated guess.

  2. #132
    Senior Member Array You's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010


    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    if this is true, and while ignoring the place of sx, we could expect the instinctual variants to be:
    Fi users - sx/sp sp/sx sp/so
    Fe users - sx/so so/sx so/sp

    that would be interesting... it does fit with me (Fe - sx/so)... are there any statistics matching MBTI with instinctual variants?
    the list might work for dominant, but ENTP and ENFP vary a long the enneagram variant spectrum. there are definite ENTP here who are sx/sp. and ENFP often are so/sx or sx/so. there isn't enough of a correlation for instinctual variants to axillary and tertiary functions for your theory to hold any weight, but with some more research it could hold some water.
    Oh, its

  3. #133
    Senior Member Array
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    Jun 2011
    2 so/sx


    Hey @DisneyFanGirl

    Good luck with your affair. Sounds exciting.

  4. #134
    Junior Member Array
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    Aug 2012


    Hey everybody,

    I admit, I've been following this and other fora and platforms for a while, but just haven't been active much...but I came across this thread and just wanted to get the discussion going again, and to share my perspective.

    I'm pretty much a textbook ENTP, although in times of crisis more INTP-like, which is when I know that something's wrong in my life.

    I'm a guy in my late twenties, and after two catastrophic relationships with ENTJs, I've been in a relationship with an ENFP for the past year and a half, and we're now engaged.

    At this point I want to especially thank @Mane for the comments and insights and also questions which have really been insightful.

    I'll go into more detail at a later point, but for now I can confirm that it is really the Fe-Fi nut that's the toughest to crack. Yes, one of the examples discussed has been the difference in how we create our own value systems, but essentially it comes down to something simpler - Fe just means that the focus is on your partner's feelings and that you try to understand and also address his or her feelings in the context of the relationship in order to solve conflicts in a relationship. In fact, for myself, as for many Fe.s I'm sure, I've found it often easier to understand other people's feelings than my own. This being the other way round for an Fi creates several problems, that are intensified in an ENTP-ENFP relationship because it just seems so silly to have these conflicts when you're just so similar in so many other ways.

    To give a concrete example, whenever we fight, which happens rather frequently, I prefer to get it out in the open immediately, whereas I get the impression that ENFPs first have a need to take some time for themselves and process some feelings alone before actually being ready to talk about everything, and when they do, they do it solely from their own emotional perspective.

    Now, the good news is that with some awareness, this can become a minor problem - if the ENTP has some other Fe close to them, friends or family, that "get them" emotionally. One of my friends is an ENFJ, and while we're not that close because I think we just don't find each other that interesting, at times he's managed to play that role, to make me feel understood, and to "recharge my emotional batteries". Which I really need because I'm surrounded by a lot of Fi.s in my life.

    The Ti-Te difference has not been a big issue in my relationship. We have very similar values and principles, although the way we've developed them and the way we defend them is quite different. It seems like ENFP's value sets are more closely linked to their childhood and past experiences. For instance, both me and my ENFP are libertarians. I have rather socially conservative parents, and I've questioned their ideas from an early age on; whereas my ENFP grew up with a quite libertarian mother. We both had issues with our fathers, but they seem to have influenced my ENFP much more than me.

    From an ENTP perspective, I think if we date an ENFP, we have to be aware that the Fe-Fi difference means that we just cannot expect certain things to be as (easy or) fulfilling on an emotional level as it would be typically expected to be in a romantic relationship. But the chemistry that comes with the fact that you're so similar but different (I do find the Te in the ENFP quite attractive :P) almost guarantee for great times. If you can work through the rest, that is.

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