[INTJ] Way to an INTJ's heart?

[sculpting]

Yeah. But. How do you know you're right?

I have lots and lots on INTPs and ENTPs to study so they tend to be pretty easy for me to pick up on. Plus I travel to tech heavy cities so they planes tend to have a lot of NTs on them. If you combine styles and patterns of dressing with the eye movements and just the general attitude they entps just sort of pop out.

A friend had went to a few nlp classes and we started watching eye movements after that.

Entps will alternate upwards-right or upwards-left movements when in a super Ne state with very direct, focused, studious stares when using a lot of Ti. They tend to alternate. If not having to focus a lot this means lots of focused glancing.

INTPs tend to be looking directly but not really at you, unless you can make them laugh about something and you can see the Ne start to kick in a bit. and they will be more active with some upwards glancing.

ENTJs stare you down like tigers and nothing is more fun than going head to head with an entj when you are right. They are very active and assertive and I luv poking them and making them twitch. They look mean and look agressive and assertive and have very direct, piercing eye contact with animation in thier facial muscles implying they will deal with you as needed.

INTJs look directly at you and it feels very intense but I think it is more like flat-panned. They are really focused on an internal order of things and once you get them to laugh, then you can see something activate in thier expression and the gaze relaxes a bit. Thier face itself -the muscles and such dont seem to have expression when in the flat-panned look

 

[Misty_Mountain_Rose]

I get into thier hearts by showing my truest simpliest side. It's like pure innocent feeling. I just overflow with it like a little feeling glow torch and I sit and listen to them teach me about whatever it is they know about.


Funny, I can be more honest about Fi with an INTJ than with any other type, as they sort of bask in it and are fascinated in it. They bring out the child in me and I can't be mean to them at all as they are so alone sometimes, and it makes me sad and want to be with them. I can make them smile when they are totally in the dumps.

I think I have yet to meet someone like that... It would be an interesting experience I think. Now that I think about it, one of my best friends in high school might have been like this, but I lost track of her somewhere along the way.

I have given this serious thought, and I believe the answer is:

Cleavage.

I think it works the other way too... My favorite season of the year is not Spring, Summer, Fall... but rather... CONSTRUCTION SEASON! *Dance/Drool*

Entps will alternate upwards-right or upwards-left movements when in a super Ne state with very direct, focused, studious stares when using a lot of Ti. They tend to alternate. If not having to focus a lot this means lots of focused glancing.

INTPs tend to be looking directly but not really at you, unless you can make them laugh about something and you can see the Ne start to kick in a bit. and they will be more active with some upwards glancing.

ENTJs stare you down like tigers and nothing is more fun than going head to head with an entj when you are right. They are very active and assertive and I luv poking them and making them twitch. They look mean and look agressive and assertive and have very direct, piercing eye contact with animation in thier facial muscles implying they will deal with you as needed.

INTJs look directly at you and it feels very intense but I think it is more like flat-panned. They are really focused on an internal order of things and once you get them to laugh, then you can see something activate in thier expression and the gaze relaxes a bit. Thier face itself -the muscles and such dont seem to have expression when in the flat-panned look

This is interesting. I may need to look into this idea a bit more. I too like to try to flash-type people when I first meet them or see them... and a little extra help in the subconscious things could go a long way.

Does anyone know a good resource for body language of the different types?

 

[Wild horses]

Some of the INTJs on here come off a bit more stern/hardass than the ones I know incl myself.

Though, I think I struggle having patience for (and not showing my annoyance with) people who stubbornly stand against beneficial change, or can't see the big picture, or get preachy/overly talkative with really seemingly obvious concrete subjects I don't find interesting. Those situations may leave me seeming mean or angry.

The cool thing about xNFPs is that they rarely fall into these categories of INTJ annoyances. They tend to be aware enough to avoid them, and tend to engage in more abstract conversations when contacting another N.

Thanks for the insight... That is actually pertty relevant I think for some of my INTJ interactions

 

[DigitalMethod]

So this INTJ stare that I've heard so much about.
What does it feel like?
Is it scary?

When is it a "good" thing?

 

[Serendipity]

I forgot one thing. INTJs don't like it if you smell icky.

Define icky.

I am just myself and no one else and shit, I wouldn't be able to take it if someone plays a game. I hate games nowadays.
It's fucking disturbing.
Once upon a time, I was a game-player but it hasn't given me anything of any good.
With feelings, you never ever ever grow bored.

(Hrrm, read a few posts in between and ended up having a slightly irregular post.)

EDIT: Ops. I read INTP and not INTJ. xD My bad.

 

[sculpting]

I think I have yet to meet someone like that... It would be an interesting experience I think. Now that I think about it, one of my best friends in high school might have been like this, but I lost track of her somewhere along the way.

This is interesting. I may need to look into this idea a bit more. I too like to try to flash-type people when I first meet them or see them... and a little extra help in the subconscious things could go a long way.

Does anyone know a good resource for body language of the different types?

I think there is a book that i have stmbled across on amazon a few times called quuick type or something like that. It pops up with all the mbti books. NLP is actually kinda hard to find good books on as they want you to attend classes and stuff but here is a link on eye movements:
NLP Eye Accessing Cues

Caution: I am totally responsible for linking the above MBTI types and functions to the NLP eye movements, so take with a massive two ton grain of salt. It seems to make sense but that's just from the folks I pay attention to. I am still thinking about it though.

As for the INTJ Fi interactions, when younger I didnt do this. One day in grad school-about seven years back, I had been diagnosed with ADHD. I read on a website about the NP types being much more ADHD like and another MBTI fanatic was born that day. The first person I made take the test after me was the INTJ I shared an office with. She was horrfied at the INTJ description, promptly retook the test and was an INFP. At the time I had tested as an ENTP but after harrassing half of my graduate department I ended up an ENFP. They all agreed it was a perfect fit. A few weeks later, working with the INTJ, it occurred to me that she didnt like the wee bit o' logic I had, but rather that I was a feeler. So a let freakin loose, and discovered how to fall in love with INTJs that day! You could just see her sort of open up and we were very good friends for a long time after that. I still touch base with her now and then.

 

[sculpting]

So this INTJ stare that I've heard so much about.
What does it feel like?
Is it scary?

When is it a "good" thing?

Sometimes it is a very Te, ENTJ like stare when highly focuused on a specific objective. Then it is scary and on the right INTJ, couuld be kinda yummy.

However more often the INTJ look is more detached, removed and distant yet still intense. Intensely preoccupied, and if you get in the middle of that preoccupation, you'd better have a good reason.

Does this description sound right and for the right reasons?

What sort of thoughts or interactions trigger the switch from the more detached flat expression to the more engaged intesnse look, or even a more relaxed look when you are happy.

 

[DigitalMethod]

I don't really know but if I had to guess.

Detached = Analyzing (generally the whole picture, lightly).

Intense = Recognizing a certain trait we know of, and focusing on that one specific trait (to try and see it again, or try and be sure we saw that specific trait).

In a way, the first one involves no emotions. The second does.

 

[Kalach]

Stares. I guess there's three: Se, Te and Ni.

Ni's the one that looks like the answering machine's screening most of what you say.
Te's when I know you're there and I'm supposed to say something about it.
Se's when everything's engaged. (Although it can feel a bit like only Se's working.)

People look different to me when a proper Se focus kicks in. I tend to start seeing beauty.



And may the good Lord preserve us from there being an Fi stare.

 

[sculpting]

And may the good Lord preserve us from there being an Fi stare.

Pure goofball I'd imagine, a wee bit glossy eyed and drooling w happiness. hehe, actually I'll pay more attention the next time I have an INTJ hooked by thier Fi and see what they stare at. I mean how they stare.

 

[JAVO]

Kick his butt with your brain.

 

[DigitalMethod]

Yeah probably:

Detached = Analyzing (generally the whole picture, lightly).

Ni.

Intense = Recognizing a certain trait we know of, and focusing on that one specific trait (to try and see it again, or try and be sure we saw that specific trait).

Te.

 

[Uytuun]

Kick his butt with your brain.

Also works on INTPs.

 

[DigitalMethod]

It's not really hard at all.
I want to say that, the INTJ will choose you, and then eventually open their heart to you.
There is no other way really.
I guess the only thing you can do is make yourself visible, but if you're the right person for them you probably won't even have to try and be visible.

Even if you choose the INTJ first they will eventually reach a point in the relationship of either choosing you or not choosing you.

Just a theory.

 

[pockets]

Kick his butt with your brain.

that would make your brain hurt, while leaving but an imperceptible imprint on his butt.

 

[Riva]

Never poke him in the nose, and give him space to be himself. Also, be really smart and pretty. DONE.

this isn't true.

i think you are talking about INTP guys. they are more privacy prone than INTJ guys when it comes to affairs. even ENTP guys require more privacy when it comes to affairs than INTJ guys. i know atleast i am.

INTJ guys don't need a sense of privacy when they are having affairs. SERIOUSLY!

i have 3 INTJ friends who doesn't seem to care any type of demands thrown at them by their Girl friends. this confuses me like hell. they are the most independent and SELF CONFIDENT people i know. but when it comes to females they just tolerate them a bit too much. makes me want to beat them up. and they get always find excuses when i or someone else tells them to break it up.

and once they do leave the relationship they still think about it for years. i think that part is good. this will actually STOP THEM from repeating the same type of mistake again. they will not go out with a selfish over demanding girl again.

but if that selfish girl tries to enter their life again they will give them another chance. thinking this time they must have changed. or this time i can control them.

anyway that privacy thing has a lot to do with Ps and Js i think. Ps would require a bit more privacy and less communication than Js.

all three girls who used the INTJ guys were SPs. 2 ESTPs and 1 ESFP. they were beautiful mind you. no questions about that.

anyway it could have been their ability to control others more than the INTJs lack of control or ability to leave the relationship that made them stay with them.

they were extremely MANIPULATIVE. the ESFP girl was less manipulative and more self absorbed.

 

[Riva]

and non of those INTJ guys are geeks. they are smart(very very smart), talented, they have friends(not very friendly though), they know a lot of girls(as friends), take care of everything around them and they performed well in sports too. 1 of them is extremely well built.

atleast they left those girls.

 

[simulatedworld]

or beat him at chess only once in 5000 played games. Then hold him to it but never accept a rematch

Good luck beating an INTJ at anything s/he's ever studied in depth.

NOT happening.

 

[Gengar]

Good luck beating an INTJ at anything s/he's ever studied in depth.

NOT happening.

Agreed. Especially for the absolutely perfect ones.

 

[Misty_Mountain_Rose]

The pedastal is flattering, really. But you don't really expect perfection, do you?

The people who captured my interest in the past were one of two genres:

1. Extremely outgoing, funny, completely disgregarding any cold shoulder or sarcasm I might send their way. They barrelled through my defenses with a confidence that amazed me and I believe they were also Sensors who had a very 'live in the moment' ... 'stop and look around you' kind of air about them that brought me out of my shell without me really being aware of it. It was exhiliarating and exciting and new... but they tended to fizzle out as quickly as they started. In the long-term, the compatibility just wasn't there.

2. The other genre of guys who've caught my attention started out as my friends first, for whatever reason. Something in how they behaved, either with others or with me added up to a kind of 'respect'. Once the respect was there it seemed that my mind was more willing to look for 'similarities' between us because, after all, you'd want to be like someone you respect, right? It made the things that would have annoyed me in a romantic relationship tolerable and easier to overlook. At some point the similarities and ease of conversation with the person would stand out in my mind as 'not usual', or different from how I interacted with everyone else. Then I would wonder 'why' it was different and usually by then I'd have half fallen in love with them without realizing it. Those relationships tended to be stronger and lasted longer.