It's not really hard at all.
I want to say that, the INTJ will choose you, and then eventually open their heart to you.
There is no other way really.
I guess the only thing you can do is make yourself visible, but if you're the right person for them you probably won't even have to try and be visible.
Even if you choose the INTJ first they will eventually reach a point in the relationship of either choosing you or not choosing you.
Just a theory.
"The life of the individual has meaning only insofar as it aids in making the life of every living thing nobler and more beautiful."
- Albert Einstein
Never poke him in the nose, and give him space to be himself. Also, be really smart and pretty. DONE.
this isn't true.
i think you are talking about INTP guys. they are more privacy prone than INTJ guys when it comes to affairs. even ENTP guys require more privacy when it comes to affairs than INTJ guys. i know atleast i am.
INTJ guys don't need a sense of privacy when they are having affairs. SERIOUSLY!
i have 3 INTJ friends who doesn't seem to care any type of demands thrown at them by their Girl friends. this confuses me like hell. they are the most independent and SELF CONFIDENT people i know. but when it comes to females they just tolerate them a bit too much. makes me want to beat them up. and they get always find excuses when i or someone else tells them to break it up.
and once they do leave the relationship they still think about it for years. i think that part is good. this will actually STOP THEM from repeating the same type of mistake again. they will not go out with a selfish over demanding girl again.
but if that selfish girl tries to enter their life again they will give them another chance. thinking this time they must have changed. or this time i can control them.
anyway that privacy thing has a lot to do with Ps and Js i think. Ps would require a bit more privacy and less communication than Js.
all three girls who used the INTJ guys were SPs. 2 ESTPs and 1 ESFP. they were beautiful mind you. no questions about that.
anyway it could have been their ability to control others more than the INTJs lack of control or ability to leave the relationship that made them stay with them.
they were extremely MANIPULATIVE. the ESFP girl was less manipulative and more self absorbed.
and non of those INTJ guys are geeks. they are smart(very very smart), talented, they have friends(not very friendly though), they know a lot of girls(as friends), take care of everything around them and they performed well in sports too. 1 of them is extremely well built.
The pedastal is flattering, really. But you don't really expect perfection, do you? :P
The people who captured my interest in the past were one of two genres:
1. Extremely outgoing, funny, completely disgregarding any cold shoulder or sarcasm I might send their way. They barrelled through my defenses with a confidence that amazed me and I believe they were also Sensors who had a very 'live in the moment' ... 'stop and look around you' kind of air about them that brought me out of my shell without me really being aware of it. It was exhiliarating and exciting and new... but they tended to fizzle out as quickly as they started. In the long-term, the compatibility just wasn't there.
2. The other genre of guys who've caught my attention started out as my friends first, for whatever reason. Something in how they behaved, either with others or with me added up to a kind of 'respect'. Once the respect was there it seemed that my mind was more willing to look for 'similarities' between us because, after all, you'd want to be like someone you respect, right? It made the things that would have annoyed me in a romantic relationship tolerable and easier to overlook. At some point the similarities and ease of conversation with the person would stand out in my mind as 'not usual', or different from how I interacted with everyone else. Then I would wonder 'why' it was different and usually by then I'd have half fallen in love with them without realizing it. :P Those relationships tended to be stronger and lasted longer.