User Tag List

First 12345 Last

Results 21 to 30 of 42

  1. #21
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    1,335

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    I never said that the mother forced the child to suicide, just illustrating what depths a fragile young mind can sink to at the hands of a manipulative adult. I agree about lack of family support, which is why I suggested that the child's parents be informed of this.
    Key word being manipulative.

    Don't know how stable or loving it is, but I can guess that he'll look back on it and will think it was creepy, at best. Again, would you feel this way if a 26 year old man formed a romantic relationship with a 14 year old girl? A kid barely out of junior high? Can you truly see nothing disturbing about that? And furthermore, this woman encouraging a child to sneak around and lie to his parents for 2 years is not responsible, healthy behavior for a normal adult. She clearly has mental issues and is clearly unstable. They catch people like this on television shows for a reason.

    At the very least his parents should know about this (or any girlfriend), even if you don't think it's morally or legally wrong for the relationship to continue.
    Well alright, it's an assumption to say that it's a loving and stable relationship but to be fair that applies both way. Nobody can make concrete judgements because they aren't involved in the situation and lack all the details.

    Does the women clearly have mental issues? Is she really unstable?
    How can you conclude that based on just a paragraph? I'm sure N's can appreciate the uncomfortable feeling of being viewed as crazy by society because they don't neccessarily adhere to social norms. It's possible that she's just an extremely idealistic women who believes love conquers all.

    I'll admit that I'd be slightly iffy about a 26 old man with a 14 year old girl. But personally I believe that's because I've been conditioned to think so by society. In the same manner I'd be disturbed with incest, however I personally believe that these people aren't bothering anybody and that there is no real reason to condemn them apart from disgust based on nothing.

    To be honest I find it more sad than immoral that the women has to encourage the child to hide their relationship until a later age. (Obviously she will have to come out at some point.) To me it just reflects more on society not being able to deal with this sort of behaviour, rather than the couples themselves.

    Now if the parents and society could handle the information maturely that'd be okay. BUT reality is extremely different as shown here.

  2. #22
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    1,335

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    I actually know of a girl, who at 14, met a man on the internet in a chat room. He disclosed his true age (40), and they formed some sort of relationship which carried on for more than a year. The girl was truly in love. They decided to meet, at a motel, and they had sex. When the girl became pregnant, she had to tell her parents, who then freaked out. When all was said and done, the man was arrested, and it came out that he was an ex-convict (sexual predator) currently wanted in 2 states for the same damn thing. Even presented with this proof the girl stood by her man, claiming love. It wasn't until she saw the actual emails to the other girls, the same ones he sent her with only the names replaced, did she finally understand how she was manipulated and coerced. She ended up not having the baby, but does have a case of herpes to remind her constantly (and yes, she could've gotten that from another teen - age has nothing to do with it). She is 19 now and is still very scarred from this. But if you had asked her at 14 or 15 if she was happy, she would have said yes.
    You keep specifically using examples where the adult in the relationship is clearly manipulative and has dark agendas. What about the other side?

    Personally I think that's immoral that the man formed a sexual relationship with her, but that's only because he did so before she was technically legal. The relationship mentioned in the OP is a different case, the women waited until the boy was legal. Would you be happy if she waited until he was 18? Surely by then he'd be able to form his own decision.

    What age would you have found it acceptable for this relationship to occur? You argue that his youth had been stolen. What about early 20s(20/21/22) who get together with early to mid 30s?

  3. #23
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    1,335

    Default

    On a sidenote rant:

    We keep on going on about these children being fragile, but to be honest... there are so many children who understand these concepts intellectually and are already engaging in such relationships. Society really does create this impression that the older person will always be the one manipulating.

  4. #24
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    4,318

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Again, would you feel this way if a 26 year old man formed a romantic relationship with a 14 year old girl?
    Elvis did.

    Petite, there's your argument.

  5. #25
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Socionics
    ENTp
    Posts
    6,387

    Default

    Kai, if you think that the child has a love which is so much more mature than his parents' and all of society's understanding, then I can see why you would disagree - because in your eyes, love conquers all. If you see nothing wrong with romantic relationships between adults and children (other than from social conditioning), then I am not going to convince you otherwise. I don't know your age, gender or background, but I truly hope that if you have children (now or in the future), that you protect them to the best of your ability. I'm not going to go any further with this conversation. Thanks for the honest sparring!

  6. #26
    Lasting_Pain
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Petite Etoile View Post
    i know someone who is a 28 year old woman dating a 16 year old boy in a different state. She claims they are in love and are soulmates and they've been dating almost 2 years but they waited to meet until he was of legal age of consent (thats what she says anyway).
    There is no reason to argue. This relationship is mutual, if you are arguing against the relationship, you are only risking losing friends. As long as the couple is in love and are willing to wait for him to reach the proper age, then there is nothing wrong with that.

  7. #27
    The Destroyer Colors's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Enneagram
    5x/o
    Posts
    1,271

    Default

    I agree with Jenocyde, on both issues, but Petite_Etoile, I repeat my response. Why should convincing your boyfriend be on any importance? If you truly believe it to be harmful and dangerous (and by what you've said, it sounds that way), they do something about it. Whether or not your boyfriend backs you up, or bows down intellectually to your argument is moot and petty.

  8. #28
    Member Petite Etoile's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    InTJ
    Enneagram
    5
    Posts
    56

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Colors View Post
    I agree with Jenocyde, on both issues, but Petite_Etoile, I repeat my response. Why should convincing your boyfriend be on any importance? If you truly believe it to be harmful and dangerous (and by what you've said, it sounds that way), they do something about it. Whether or not your boyfriend backs you up, or bows down intellectually to your argument is moot and petty.
    this has just been really hard on me and even though he is really considerate and supportive, i just wish he could understand me 100%..

    In regards to "doing something about it," someone turned her in to the police a few days ago, but she got the best lawyer in the state so she probably won't go to jail or anything.. which is fine because i never wanted her to get punished, mostly i just wish she would realize what she's doing is wrong or to seek help.

  9. #29
    The Destroyer Colors's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Enneagram
    5x/o
    Posts
    1,271

    Default

    I think it's hard to accept A LOT of the time that people, perfectly reasonable people, to boot, will disagree with us when the same evidence is placed before us. Maybe it's different experiences that have shaped us internally, maybe they're just approaching from a different angle in that particular instance at that particular time.

    That's why laws exist, I think. So we have a standard regardless of people waffling, situational blahblah. And that's why juries exist, so that we have the human waffling in there too.

    Sounds like a difficult time for you, and I'm not good at relationships to tell you how to communicate your sentiments to your boyfriend. (In that there's a difference between disagreeing with someone and thinking they are wrong.)

    When I was in high school, a teacher was arrested for sexual relations with several students. He was a really good teacher but what he did was indeed manipulative and violative.

  10. #30
    I'm a star. Kangirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Posts
    1,470

    Default

    I don't think this is anyone's business but their own (the 2 people involved). If I'm correct in assuming he's of legal age at 16 then there's not even a legal issue anymore.

    And, given no other info apart from ages I wouldn't necessarily change my mind if it was an older man/younger woman pairing.
    "Only an irrational dumbass, would burn Jews." - Jaguar

    "please give concise answers in plain English" - request from Provoker

Similar Threads

  1. [INFP] Please help me understand an INFP
    By Saslou in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 02-07-2010, 04:38 PM
  2. ! ! Help me type an ex? ! !
    By JustHer in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 11-28-2009, 05:01 PM
  3. Help me with an important life decision!
    By pocket lint in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 31
    Last Post: 12-05-2007, 11:11 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO