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  1. #1
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    Default Why do INTPs ignore other people's feelings?

    Hi everyone . I have an intp friend , but he is so hard to understand . I found out that he realy understands other people felings , but he he ignores them .
    And now i can't figure out why . as i look at him i see big one unsolvable ridle . PS i am esfp. help . thanks in advance

  2. #2
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    I usually don't think they're important things to consider at times when trying to make a decision.

    Also I just don't really know how to handle them. If other people are upset, I am clueless as to how to respond in an appropriate way, so a common thing may be to pretend those feelings are not really there.



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    Thanks . Any more thoughts ?

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    Senior Member groovejet02's Avatar
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    It depends whether the feeling is justified. I have no trouble comforting someone who's going through hard times like money problems, abuse, confusion over life choices, etc. but if people are just being self-indulgent, I ignore them.

  5. #5
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    I usually don't think they're important things to consider at times when trying to make a decision.

    Also I just don't really know how to handle them. If other people are upset, I am clueless as to how to respond in an appropriate way, so a common thing may be to pretend those feelings are not really there.
    Yeah that's pretty much how it is with me too.

    I also will try to introduce some calm reasoning into the situation, and if that doesn't work and in some cases makes it worse, I feel useless and I don't like that. So I try to be optimistic and get them to minimize what they are feeling.

    It's the worst when I'm expected to reciprocate emotions in some way. I'm unable to let myself fake them.

  6. #6
    Senior Member ColonelGadaafi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rokeziukas View Post
    Hi everyone . I have an intp friend , but he is so hard to understand . I found out that he realy understands other people felings , but he he ignores them .
    And now i can't figure out why . as i look at him i see big one unsolvable ridle . PS i am esfp. help . thanks in advance
    Their chiefly dominant function is an rational objective one, namely =Ti. Thus they tend to discard irrational things when percieving contexts/situations, like feelings and subjectiveness, even if they easily detect their involvement.

    Imo you best not overwhelm your INTP friend with emotionally charged actions. They usually make negative judgments on people who overwhelm their tolerance. They iqnore them because they simply cannot handle them or because they find them obnoxious toward their principles.
    "Where can you flee? What road will you use to escape us? Our horses are swift, our arrows sharp, our swords like thunderbolts, our hearts as hard as the mountains, our soldiers as numerous as the sand. Fortresses will not detain us, nor arms stop us. Your prayers to God will not avail against us. We are not moved by tears nor touched by lamentations."

  7. #7
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    It's the worst when I'm expected to reciprocate emotions in some way. I'm unable to let myself fake them.
    yeah, I was just going through that this week with someone who is trying to interact with me on an emotional level I am just not feeling, and I found myself either making jokes (to divert attention) or just talking about impersonal things with them... and feeling lousy about it but not knowing what else to do. (My next typical step is avoidance... just avoiding talking to them if they keep it up.) The same thing happens when people compliment me on something personal (i.e., something I can't detach from and clinically assess)

    The last thing of course I could ever do is reciprocate if I'm not feeling it. it's not just that I don't want to say something that isn't true, it's also that I don't even know HOW to say something that isn't emotionally true, it comes out as a clumsy lie.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  8. #8
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rokeziukas View Post
    Hi everyone . I have an intp friend , but he is so hard to understand . I found out that he realy understands other people felings , but he he ignores them .
    And now i can't figure out why . as i look at him i see big one unsolvable ridle . PS i am esfp. help . thanks in advance
    It would help to have some context here. Under what circumstances does he ignore people's feelings? Do you mean that he doesn't care if he hurts people? Or that, like Jock indicated, that he doesn't take people's feelings into consideration when making a decision that will affect a group, as in a business situation?

    INTPs prize logic and objectivity above all. When making decisions, we will usually think about what makes the most sense to do, even if it means hurting the feelings of one or two people for the good of the group. We usually don't take responsibility for the feelings of others--each person (especially adults) are responsible for the way they handle a situation, and sometimes tough decisions have to be accepted. If we have strong Fe, we might care about how the decision might affect others, but the Ti will usually still win out, if we are in a position of authority.
    Something Witty

  9. #9
    Widdles in your cream.
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    Personally, I don't ignore peoples' feelings. I simply fail to acknowledge them when I make a decision, so I occasionally need to be given a poke. Ignore sounds deliberate.
    Um, yeah.

  10. #10
    Is Willard in Footloose!! CJ99's Avatar
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    He probably understands feelings because of Ne but then Ti says they make no sense so he is at complete loss with what to about them so will just ignore them.
    "I'd never die for my beliefs, I might be wrong"

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    "Intelligence is being able to hold too opposing views in the mind at the one time without going crazy" - Now all I need to figure out is if I'm intelligent or crazy!

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