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[INTP] Why do INTPs ignore other people's feelings?

rokeziukas

New member
Joined
Jan 11, 2009
Messages
6
MBTI Type
ESFP
Hi everyone . I have an intp friend , but he is so hard to understand . I found out that he realy understands other people felings , but he he ignores them .
And now i can't figure out why . as i look at him i see big one unsolvable ridle . PS i am esfp. help . thanks in advance
 

JocktheMotie

Habitual Fi LineStepper
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
8,491
I usually don't think they're important things to consider at times when trying to make a decision.

Also I just don't really know how to handle them. If other people are upset, I am clueless as to how to respond in an appropriate way, so a common thing may be to pretend those feelings are not really there.
 

groovejet02

New member
Joined
Jan 9, 2009
Messages
199
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5
It depends whether the feeling is justified. I have no trouble comforting someone who's going through hard times like money problems, abuse, confusion over life choices, etc. but if people are just being self-indulgent, I ignore them.
 

ajblaise

Minister of Propagandhi
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
7,914
MBTI Type
INTP
I usually don't think they're important things to consider at times when trying to make a decision.

Also I just don't really know how to handle them. If other people are upset, I am clueless as to how to respond in an appropriate way, so a common thing may be to pretend those feelings are not really there.

Yeah that's pretty much how it is with me too.

I also will try to introduce some calm reasoning into the situation, and if that doesn't work and in some cases makes it worse, I feel useless and I don't like that. So I try to be optimistic and get them to minimize what they are feeling.

It's the worst when I'm expected to reciprocate emotions in some way. I'm unable to let myself fake them.
 

ColonelGadaafi

New member
Joined
Oct 10, 2008
Messages
773
MBTI Type
ESTJ
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Si
Hi everyone . I have an intp friend , but he is so hard to understand . I found out that he realy understands other people felings , but he he ignores them .
And now i can't figure out why . as i look at him i see big one unsolvable ridle . PS i am esfp. help . thanks in advance

Their chiefly dominant function is an rational objective one, namely =Ti. Thus they tend to discard irrational things when percieving contexts/situations, like feelings and subjectiveness, even if they easily detect their involvement.

Imo you best not overwhelm your INTP friend with emotionally charged actions. They usually make negative judgments on people who overwhelm their tolerance. They iqnore them because they simply cannot handle them or because they find them obnoxious toward their principles.
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,187
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BELF
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Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
It's the worst when I'm expected to reciprocate emotions in some way. I'm unable to let myself fake them.

yeah, I was just going through that this week with someone who is trying to interact with me on an emotional level I am just not feeling, and I found myself either making jokes (to divert attention) or just talking about impersonal things with them... and feeling lousy about it but not knowing what else to do. (My next typical step is avoidance... just avoiding talking to them if they keep it up.) The same thing happens when people compliment me on something personal (i.e., something I can't detach from and clinically assess)

The last thing of course I could ever do is reciprocate if I'm not feeling it. it's not just that I don't want to say something that isn't true, it's also that I don't even know HOW to say something that isn't emotionally true, it comes out as a clumsy lie.
 

Tallulah

Emerging
Joined
Feb 19, 2008
Messages
6,009
MBTI Type
INTP
Hi everyone . I have an intp friend , but he is so hard to understand . I found out that he realy understands other people felings , but he he ignores them .
And now i can't figure out why . as i look at him i see big one unsolvable ridle . PS i am esfp. help . thanks in advance

It would help to have some context here. Under what circumstances does he ignore people's feelings? Do you mean that he doesn't care if he hurts people? Or that, like Jock indicated, that he doesn't take people's feelings into consideration when making a decision that will affect a group, as in a business situation?

INTPs prize logic and objectivity above all. When making decisions, we will usually think about what makes the most sense to do, even if it means hurting the feelings of one or two people for the good of the group. We usually don't take responsibility for the feelings of others--each person (especially adults) are responsible for the way they handle a situation, and sometimes tough decisions have to be accepted. If we have strong Fe, we might care about how the decision might affect others, but the Ti will usually still win out, if we are in a position of authority.
 

Grungemouse

Widdles in your cream.
Joined
Feb 5, 2008
Messages
577
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5
Personally, I don't ignore peoples' feelings. I simply fail to acknowledge them when I make a decision, so I occasionally need to be given a poke. Ignore sounds deliberate.
 

CJ99

Is Willard in Footloose!!
Joined
Jan 5, 2009
Messages
582
MBTI Type
ENTP
He probably understands feelings because of Ne but then Ti says they make no sense so he is at complete loss with what to about them so will just ignore them.
 

rokeziukas

New member
Joined
Jan 11, 2009
Messages
6
MBTI Type
ESFP
thanks .My friend is good at faking felings , he said me that more than two or for times so , i guess he can fake felings(so sometimes he uses fe function) . aboat people felings , he may understand them but then he take decision he just don't consider aboat others felings(sometimes he drives me crazy , and scares me because he is so logic ) . of course i asked why he ignore other people felings , but he didn't said , i guess he thinks where is no point teling it ?
I guess my friend is realy interesting person . Do you have any esfp friends ? How do you get along with them ?
 

CJ99

Is Willard in Footloose!!
Joined
Jan 5, 2009
Messages
582
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ENTP
thanks .My friend is good at faking felings , he said me that more than two or for times so , i guess he can fake felings(so sometimes he uses fe function) . aboat people felings , he may understand them but then he take decision he just don't consider aboat others felings(sometimes he drives me crazy , and scares me because he is so logic ) . of course i asked why he ignore other people felings , but he didn't said , i guess he thinks where is no point teling it ?
I guess my friend is realy interesting person . Do you have any esfp friends ? How do you get along with them ?

One of my best mates an ESFP.
Guys great. Really funny and generous and suprisingly i have some really interesting conversations with him when i get him on his own. He is actually far smarter than he appears. He is also one of the few people that really appreciates my extreme randomness!
 

rokeziukas

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One of my best mates an ESFP.
Guys great. Really funny and generous and suprisingly i have some really interesting conversations with him when i get him on his own. He is actually far smarter than he appears. He is also one of the few people that really appreciates my extreme randomness!
His my best friend too . sometimes he is extreamly helpfull in situations than logic is needed . He accepts my spontaneous behaviour .Not everyone does . I realy have people that don't like me . I guess i'm too straightforward . I guess your friend also is like that. is he ?
 
Last edited:

Poki

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He probably understands feelings because of Ne but then Ti says they make no sense so he is at complete loss with what to about them so will just ignore them.

Pe lets us understand feelings. His lack of Ti and Si about that person leaves his Fe in the dark about what to do to cater to that persons needs.
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
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Personally, I don't ignore peoples' feelings. I simply fail to acknowledge them when I make a decision, so I occasionally need to be given a poke. Ignore sounds deliberate.

Disregarding feelings as a pertinent source of input is probably both a conscious and unconscious behavior.
 

CJ99

Is Willard in Footloose!!
Joined
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Messages
582
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ENTP
His my best friend too . sometimes he is extreamly helpfull in situations than logic is needed . He accepts my spontaneous behaviour .Not everyone does . I realy have people that don't like me . I guess i'm too straightforward . I guess your friend also is like that. is he ?

Yeah i generally know how he will react but he is impulsive enough to completely suprise me at times.
 

Night

Boring old fossil
Joined
Nov 2, 2007
Messages
4,755
MBTI Type
INTJ
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Personally, I don't ignore peoples' feelings. I simply fail to acknowledge them when I make a decision, so I occasionally need to be given a poke. Ignore sounds deliberate.

Yes.

Ignore suggests a conscious effort to dismiss. Under ideal circumstances, thoughtful consideration of multiple variables from multiple angles is often cited as a hallmark INTP quality.

Whether/how this fleshes into everyday practice tends to be a quirk of the individual.
 

rokeziukas

New member
Joined
Jan 11, 2009
Messages
6
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ESFP
So far i came just one thing in this forum that fits to my friend that my friend doesn't take people's feelings into consideration when making a decision also he understands felings then he taking a decision . he said that he ignore people feelings , because he have reasons , and those reasons came because he don't trust anyone . so must find out what kind of reasons he have . thats why i said he is unsolvable ridle . its dead end . if you have any more thouhts i would be pleased
 

ThatsWhatHeSaid

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May 11, 2007
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I tend to think that if people saw the big picture, their feelings would fall into place correctly, so I sometimes put hesitation and resistance aside to get to the punch line as fast as I can. Sometimes it totally works, other times you run into too much resistance and you lost momentum. I still think feelings can be relevant, though.
 

entropie

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yeah, I was just going through that this week with someone who is trying to interact with me on an emotional level I am just not feeling, and I found myself either making jokes (to divert attention) or just talking about impersonal things with them... and feeling lousy about it but not knowing what else to do. (My next typical step is avoidance... just avoiding talking to them if they keep it up.) The same thing happens when people compliment me on something personal (i.e., something I can't detach from and clinically assess)

The last thing of course I could ever do is reciprocate if I'm not feeling it. it's not just that I don't want to say something that isn't true, it's also that I don't even know HOW to say something that isn't emotionally true, it comes out as a clumsy lie.

you commented nicely on my attempt to build the beaming machine to get to you, back then, 10 months ago :D
 
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