User Tag List

First 45678 Last

Results 51 to 60 of 84

  1. #51
    Cat Wench ReadingRainbows's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx/sp
    Socionics
    IEI Ni
    Posts
    1,899

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lexicon View Post
    mmm. NT souls..
    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    St. Stephen took rocks and St. Sebastian took arrows. You only have to take some jerks on an internet forum. Nut up.

  2. #52
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    693

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rangler View Post
    So, I've been thinking. The idea of a soul mate is the wrong way to think about love. I feel that what people who believe in it really want is easy love, a relationship characterized by effortlessness. This is juvenile.

    I believe that attraction, connection, communication, trust, development, and resources determine the success of healthy relationships. And, they all require a surprising amount of mutual commitment and effort to gain and maintain.

    If someone told me they thought we were soul mates, prior to engagement, I would consider that person off their rocker. I don't want to date someone who believes a relationship should be effortless. I wouldn't trust them to be there when effort is required.
    seconded

  3. #53
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    isfp
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    8,594

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rangler View Post
    So, I've been thinking. The idea of a soul mate is the wrong way to think about love. I feel that what people who believe in it really want is easy love, a relationship characterized by effortlessness. This is juvenile.

    I believe that attraction, connection, communication, trust, development, and resources determine the success of healthy relationships. And, they all require a surprising amount of mutual commitment and effort to gain and maintain.

    If someone told me they thought we were soul mates, prior to engagement, I would consider that person off their rocker. I don't want to date someone who believes a relationship should be effortless. I wouldn't trust them to be there when effort is required.
    You have made good observations here, but be sure you know what the person means when they say "soul mate". It might be based on the same principle you describe here, but it is also possible that the effort part is assumed and the magical part gives it a sense of personal significance. When I was younger, I was quite ideal about the idea of falling in love and thought of finding a soul-mate, and even wished/imagined we already had some type of intangible connection, etc. I was already working really hard on the relationship before it even started. I was motivated for self improvement, wanting to be the right person. I never assumed it would be easy, but that it would have meaning and significance. That was an oversimplification of reality because it was a fragmented view of an idealized connection and a direct reaction to feeling isolated from people.

    My point is that these kinds of ideas are easily misunderstood and it is important to really know what the other person means when they choose their particular words.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  4. #54
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    9,849

    Default

    Why an NT?

    Why so certain?

    And, why limit your options?

    I think my soulmate would be an IESNTFPJ.

    *bats lashes*

    Come hither, boys.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  5. #55
    Senior Member Rangler's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    3w8
    Posts
    319

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    i don't believe in "soul mate" in the traditional sense but i think certain people come into your life for a reason.
    I agree, maybe strangely, that certain people come into your life for a reason. Though, I feel often people misjudge the reason due to infatuation, which is not the same as spiritual sensitivity. IMHO.
    R[a]ngl[e]r

  6. #56
    Senior Member Rangler's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    3w8
    Posts
    319

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    You have made good observations here, but be sure you know what the person means when they say "soul mate". It might be based on the same principle you describe here, but it is also possible that the effort part is assumed and the magical part gives it a sense of personal significance. When I was younger, I was quite ideal about the idea of falling in love and thought of finding a soul-mate, and even wished/imagined we already had some type of intangible connection, etc. I was already working really hard on the relationship before it even started. I was motivated for self improvement, wanting to be the right person. I never assumed it would be easy, but that it would have meaning and significance. That was an oversimplification of reality because it was a fragmented view of an idealized connection and a direct reaction to feeling isolated from people.

    My point is that these kinds of ideas are easily misunderstood and it is important to really know what the other person means when they choose their particular words.
    Fair enough. But really, when, if ever have you heard some one talk about how the look forward to finding their soul mate because it will make their life more complicated and require massive commitment and sacrifice. People are really consistent at ignoring these facts, to the point where they are excluded from the common definition of soul mate. Just ask any 10 year old girl about the definition of soul mate, and you will find the exact and complete definition that society markets.... and they lived happily ever after...
    R[a]ngl[e]r

  7. #57
    rawr Costrin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Socionics
    LII
    Posts
    2,320

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rangler View Post
    Just ask any 10 year old girl about the definition of soul mate, and you will find the exact and complete definition that society markets.
    Hmm... does this apply to other words as well? I see much humour potential in this.
    "All humour has a foundation of truth."
    - Costrin

  8. #58
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    isfp
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    8,594

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rangler View Post
    Fair enough. But really, when, if ever have you heard some one talk about how the look forward to finding their soul mate because it will make their life more complicated and require massive commitment and sacrifice. People are really consistent at ignoring these facts, to the point where they are excluded from the common definition of soul mate. Just ask any 10 year old girl about the definition of soul mate, and you will find the exact and complete definition that society markets.... and they lived happily ever after...
    That does make sense when it is the fairy tale approach and I believe that can happen, however, that ten year old hasn't gone through puberty and is now an adolescent/adult physically and emotionally attached to this "soul-mate". She by her stage in development at 10 has no idea what the word means. Although, I will mention that as a child NF I felt a special attachment to another child around age 9 and dreamed of being together every day for the next few years. I sat in the top of my apple tree and wrote about him and felt loneliness for not being together. It's better to not underestimate NF attachment.

    Consider that there can also be a problem for NF types to work too hard on a relationship. Even a bad scenario is idealized and sacrificed for to unhealthy extremes. I've seen so many examples irl when the soul-mate is assumed to be worth any sacrifice because they are uniquely connected amongst the six billion people on earth, etc. My concern is this is the more likely problem that can emerge for the INFJ type when they use the term, not an assumption to just glide along without effort. For those people who describe difficulty forming meaningful connections with others, and yet desire this above all else, the risk for over-valuing an intimate connection is rather high. I think it is less likely that an INFJ needs to "work harder" on relationships, but rather needs to be wise enough to know when to quit because the connection is not magical and unique within the universe. However, if the idea of a "soul-mate" makes a person with such an inclination more selective initially, it is a positive thing.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  9. #59
    Senior Member Misty_Mountain_Rose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    1,123

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Actually, a lot of NT's have a secret mushy center that doesn't mind the idea of a 'soulmate' in my experience
    Dangit Amargith! There you go blowing our cover again.

    Quote Originally Posted by soleil View Post
    I do believe that a person can have more than one 'soulmate'.
    I do as well, but for me I guess a 'soulmate' is someone who alters you on a fundamental level. A person you feel truly whole with, as if you've known them for many lives before and will meet again and again in lives to come. I've only felt it once. Hoping I'm right about the 'more than one' theory.
    Embrace the possibilities.

  10. #60
    no clinkz 'til brooklyn Nocapszy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    4,516

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post

    Come hither, boys.
    Why a boy?

    Why so certain?

    And why limit your options?


    Here's a tip: don't put a question mark after a statement of disapproval. It just looks weak/unscrupulously manipulative.
    we fukin won boys

Similar Threads

  1. [NF] Have an NF moment
    By Noel in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 65
    Last Post: 03-03-2014, 09:54 AM
  2. [NT] Defining Moments in the making of an NT.
    By ladypinkington in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 136
    Last Post: 07-15-2012, 06:42 PM
  3. [NT] How often do you (as an NT) dream?
    By DigitalMethod in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 07-15-2008, 10:30 PM
  4. Do you have an lj and are you in CO?
    By Aven in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 03-28-2008, 12:55 PM
  5. [NT] What Compels An NT to Cheat?
    By LadyJaye in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 11-23-2007, 01:13 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO