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  1. #21
    Senior Member Lightyear's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frank View Post
    One thing that always drove me crazy was her lack of domestic skills.
    I can so relate to that! My mum is the worst houswife ever, she rather goes out to fight and face a challenge (she has been involved in local politics for decades)

  2. #22
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TwinkleToes View Post
    My mom is an INTJ and probably the most compassionate person I have ever known. She encouraged me in all of my interests, and supported me through all of my failures. She can get inside other peoples heads (including mine) which drives me batty occasionally, but she has the best intentions.

    She taught me how to pick locks, hot-wire vehicles, tie rope-knots, untie rope-knots, climb trees, identify different kinds of rocks, identify types of clouds and weather formations, track constellations and planet movements, play classical guitar, tap dance, catch fish, garden, fix anything and everything, install appliances, find balance and insult people in appropriate and humourous ways.

    If I end up half as courageous, determined and gracious as her, I will have turned out just fine.
    Your mom sounds awsomely fun! Lucky you!

  3. #23
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lightyear View Post
    My mum also has a hidden emotional side that would especially come to the surface with me, "her flesh and blood". If I would come home a bit too late she would be very worried, she wouldn't make a scene or anything but she would be definitely worried that something had happened to me. She also really loves me but never in a very showy way, the signals are more subtle. Actually with age she has become a bit more emotional and demonstrative in her affections, she told me I taught her about emotions and how to reach people by letting her feelings show (for example complementing someone or stroking the hand of someone who is upset etc > things that are natural to me as a major Fe user but that she had to learn over the years)

    Yes, as a NT mum I think you will love your kids simply because they are your kids (after all you have not just your brain but also your ovaries for a reason ) and you will probably be more easy-going with them then other parents but you have to be careful that you don't give them too much independence, you are their partent and not their older sister and they are at the end of the day just children with much less life experience than yourself. Don't be afraid to put your foot down, as an NT you will thankfully be discerning enough to know when that is actually truly necessary.
    Thank you, that gives me hope. If I have finally decided to care for someone, I will walk to the ends of the earth for them; it is loyally defended with a vengence. I am very protective of the ones I love. I just sometimes don't show it until it's crisis time. Which, as those close to me have commented, shouldn't be the only time it comes out: my devotion.

    I am working on being able to give that to them spontaneously, without either being asked or needing it to become a crisis. I just always assume that my feelings are known because otherwise, I wouldn't be there...but not everybody works like that.

  4. #24
    in-game Gamine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lightyear View Post
    I can so relate to that! My mum is the worst houswife ever, she rather goes out to fight and face a challenge (she has been involved in local politics for decades)
    My mom isn't allowed in the kitchen. I swear that woman can burn water.
    "Beware Those Who Are ALWAYS READING BOOKS" - Bukowski

  5. #25
    Senior Member Misty_Mountain_Rose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    I tend to teach her things that seem out of her league, because I feel that she understands way more than her parents realize. Like when she grabs their camera, they jump up and take it away from her. When she grabs mine, I laugh and pull her onto my lap and show her which button to push to make a picture. (she really takes good photos now, I must say...) I also teach her to put the strap around her shoulder (not neck, yikes!) first so she won't drop it. I just make her feel comfortable to touch it and explore and not be scared of technology or whatever, as long as she is gentle.

    It's funny how her mom will never let her leave the house looking less than presentable (hair combed, matching pants/shirt/shoes) but I drag her out in whatever she wants to wear (a tutu and a baseball cap) because I know she'll just get messed up anyway. I almost always dress her (to her parents dismay) in rubber boots and nylon pants, so she can splash around in puddles and roll around in mud. I don't think I've ever once thought to brush her hair. Not even once.

    Her bath time is like an hour long process when I'm around because I let her splash around as much as she wants, I don't care if the bathroom is dripping water everywhere afterwards. Bath time is not just for utility to get her clean, but to learn how to make bubbles, how certain objects stay afloat and others sink, how to hold your breath, how things sound different underwater. Stuff like that. I just like her to have fun and I get a kick out of seeing things "click" in her mind. The moment she "gets" something. She's a source of endless fun for me, she's just so curious!
    Yep, this is me as a Single Mom, although I do sometimes remember to tell her to brush her hair when it gets a little too 'unwieldy'...



    Quote Originally Posted by Amira View Post
    ...Basically she was very intentional about how she raised us.
    This kind of sums it up in a nutshell. Intentional in everything (as much as one can be). I'm almost hyper aware of how my actions now will effect her as she grows older and I constantly monitor myself to make sure I'm giving her the things I think are important: Stability, Curiosity/Love of learning and Affection. I deliberately 'test' her or rather, make her test herself. When she comes across a new problem I ask her 'What do you think you should try first? What else could you do if that doesn't work?' It may seem ridiculous to outsiders, but I want her to feel confident that she can take on new tasks and make things happen for herself... and not to shy away from new experiences. She has pretty much learned that the only thing that angers me (literally in a split second) is her saying 'I can't' or 'I don't know how'.


    Quote Originally Posted by Amira View Post
    I guess I would have to say the best thing about her is how she is so intentional about life and does not just want to go through it and let whatever happens happen, but she realizes that living well takes lots of work and planning. I also really, really appreciate her huge amount of knowledge and love for reading. She passed that love of learning to me and I can't imagine life without that.
    This warms my heart I hope my own daughter grows to feel the same way, as this is what I try to give her every day.

    Quote Originally Posted by TwinkleToes View Post
    She taught me how to pick locks, hot-wire vehicles, tie rope-knots, untie rope-knots, climb trees, identify different kinds of rocks, identify types of clouds and weather formations, track constellations and planet movements, play classical guitar, tap dance, catch fish, garden, fix anything and everything, install appliances, find balance and insult people in appropriate and humourous ways.
    Yep, my daughter definately learns a lot of ... uncommon... things. When something strikes her interest I ask her questions about it or tell her little tidbits. If she hears a word she doesn't know, she'll always ask what it means and I help her learn to use it. She helps me around the house with odd tasks that I'm doing (fixing the vacuum cleaner, building a table...) and I've never forced her to take up hobbies and activities that she wasn't interested in. If I see she has a liking for something, I work on giving her all of the access she needs to learn more about it or have more exposure to it.

    Quote Originally Posted by TwinkleToes View Post
    My mom isn't allowed in the kitchen. I swear that woman can burn water.
    Its a curse.
    Embrace the possibilities.

  6. #26
    Senior Member Misty_Mountain_Rose's Avatar
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    Ok, I had to revive this thread...

    On second thought, I think there is something 'missing' in me when it comes to parenting?

    My child has been gone for nearly a MONTH to another state visiting with the relatives. Everyone keeps saying 'You must miss her so much!' and 'How many times have you had to fight the urge to just jump in the car and go get her!?'

    The answers? (The REAL answers?) Not so much and uh... none.

    Granted, I've been a single parent for 9 years and I've lived in another state, on my own with no family to help for 5 of those years. Her and I are forced to spend a LOT of time together, whether we like it or not. Is it just that its a long-overdue vacation that I desperately needed or is it that I'm lacking whatever impulse it is that makes mothers long to have their children with them?

    I do think about her every day, and wonder what she's doing and we talk on the phone a lot in the evenings (a lot in my mind is every few days for about 30 - 60 minutes...) but other than that I've been completely content with my own company. I've had no lack of things to do and have really enjoyed myself truth be told. I'll be happy when she comes home so I can settle back into my normal routine, but I don't think that's the same feeling that others are imagining when they say "OH MY GOD SHE'S BEEN GONE THAT LONG!?"

    There's this nagging feeling in my mind though that maybe that's a bad thing... lol
    Embrace the possibilities.

  7. #27
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Misty_Mountain_Rose View Post
    There's this nagging feeling in my mind though that maybe that's a bad thing... lol
    I actually consider your attitude very beneficial to the child. She gets a mother that doesn't depend on her for happiness and will be able to let her go more easily when that time comes.

    I always thought my mother whining about how much she'd miss me was a very selfish act (I rarely/never shared the sentiment).

  8. #28
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    No, you're just fine. You know she's fine and you're enjoying your time off. Hell, that twinge of guilt is also an indication that you're just fine.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #29
    Senior Member forzen's Avatar
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    Man i wish i had a NT mother. My mom basically beleived everything religion taught and followed it without questions. I have nothing against it, but her faith and her attitude that praying would make everything better really got on my nerve sometimes. Sigh, i have never once got an answer about anything unless it was "god made it happen" or some sort. Oh and going to church every sunday was also not in my to do list, since i told her that it shouldn't matter if you go or not, since your action/way of life should be the only thing that matters.

  10. #30
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Misty_Mountain_Rose View Post
    Ok, I had to revive this thread...

    On second thought, I think there is something 'missing' in me when it comes to parenting?

    My child has been gone for nearly a MONTH to another state visiting with the relatives. Everyone keeps saying 'You must miss her so much!' and 'How many times have you had to fight the urge to just jump in the car and go get her!?'

    The answers? (The REAL answers?) Not so much and uh... none.

    Granted, I've been a single parent for 9 years and I've lived in another state, on my own with no family to help for 5 of those years. Her and I are forced to spend a LOT of time together, whether we like it or not. Is it just that its a long-overdue vacation that I desperately needed or is it that I'm lacking whatever impulse it is that makes mothers long to have their children with them?

    I do think about her every day, and wonder what she's doing and we talk on the phone a lot in the evenings (a lot in my mind is every few days for about 30 - 60 minutes...) but other than that I've been completely content with my own company. I've had no lack of things to do and have really enjoyed myself truth be told. I'll be happy when she comes home so I can settle back into my normal routine, but I don't think that's the same feeling that others are imagining when they say "OH MY GOD SHE'S BEEN GONE THAT LONG!?"

    There's this nagging feeling in my mind though that maybe that's a bad thing... lol

    lol..no you're ok.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

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