[INTP] How to seduce an INTP...

[The Decline]

you guys are adorable once your guard is down

Shhh... don't tell anyone

 

[nomadic]

seeker, your situation is just like mine bro.

this thread is a gold mine! ^^ must read all. muahahaha~

 

[luminous beam]

seeker, your situation is just like mine bro.

this thread is a gold mine! ^^ must read all. muahahaha~

psst, keep it down or you'll scare them away!

 

[Verfremdungseffekt]

Eek, they're everywhere!

 

[ring the bell]

I don't know if she's insecure. More like she's testing you. I think a lot of INTP's don't realize why they or their traits could be appealing to others. It's like, "Really? Hmm. Okay." It's not necessarily insecurity, but a self-effacing way to gauge where you stand. But aside from that, she's telling you because she is noting your reaction. I've never said those things to someone without purposely concentrating/analyzing their reaction. In essence, she can't read you and she's torn.

Considering her extremely small circle of friends...she doesn't trust many people. She may be VERY attracted to you, but the truth is she may see you as being "too all over the place with your affection or attention"...

INTP's commit to an idea first - then the person. Once she commits to the idea of being with you, it's very difficult to go back. We almost pre-commit before the actual commitment. I know, scary! We are not "daters" we are long term relationship people. After all, why be with someone when we can be happy being alone?

My best friend is an ENFP and we dated briefly. Don't get me wrong, I love my ENFP friend (we are inseparable now) but dating this ENFP was not enjoyable. ENFP's view dating as a fun and exciting adventure filled with mystery and flirty give and take fun! She may take a look at your past dating record...what does it look like?? We tend to judge on those things to determine a person's way of being or character. INTP's view dating as serious business and something quite stressful first, then once that's out of the way you get to see the relaxed, flirty, fun side. So more than likely, she may think that your interest in her is only because she is a challenge or a passing phase. In order to be with her, she has to BE CERTAIN that those two things ARE NOT true.

Very good post here.. I relate...

 

[Shimmy]

I don't know if she's insecure. More like she's testing you. I think a lot of INTP's don't realize why they or their traits could be appealing to others. It's like, "Really? Hmm. Okay." It's not necessarily insecurity, but a self-effacing way to gauge where you stand. But aside from that, she's telling you because she is noting your reaction. I've never said those things to someone without purposely concentrating/analyzing their reaction. In essence, she can't read you and she's torn.

I'm not so sure, if you tell a guy to date other girls beside you that sounds to me like either a statement of disinterest, or from the context of the story, insecurity. Sounds to extreme to be merely a test for me. I don't think I'd risk sending someone I really want to be with away with the possibility of that person leaving me alone and devastated.

Considering her extremely small circle of friends...she doesn't trust many people. She may be VERY attracted to you, but the truth is she may see you as being "too all over the place with your affection or attention"...

This is probably true, there are only very few people I tell how I really feel. I'm especially distant from people who might pass judgement. I'm not even talkative to my parents.

INTP's commit to an idea first - then the person. Once she commits to the idea of being with you, it's very difficult to go back. We almost pre-commit before the actual commitment. I know, scary! We are not "daters" we are long term relationship people. After all, why be with someone when we can be happy being alone?

This is most certainly true. People have to become a part of my life before I can start befriending them. If I don't meet a new person regularly right from the start it is not likely we'll become friends, no matter how much I like that person.

 

[nomadic]

psst, keep it down or you'll scare them away!

lolz

Although my situation is similiar, I am hesitant to talk about it here, in case of jinxing it. But in general, it does seem the less I talk about it to others, the better it goes. She's moving in with me soon, so Im hesitant to push. But who knows what will happen. I learned a lot of patience, so it helps me in that regard.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

I'm not so sure, if you tell a guy to date other girls beside you that sounds to me like either a statement of disinterest, or from the context of the story, insecurity. Sounds to extreme to be merely a test for me. I don't think I'd risk sending someone I really want to be with away with the possibility of that person leaving me alone and devastated.


I'll have to go back to the original post but it didn't sound like they were dating yet. (If they were the INTP's inner thoughts/feelings wouldn't be so much of a mystery). Sounded like they both know of an interest and are both keeping things close to the chest. Resulting in so much uncertainty and each person over-analyzing the other.

All I can say is, if the INTP isn't sure of the ENFP's intentions...telling someone to date others...she was probably looking for the opposite response. I'd say it was a gambit to call the ENFP out!

Sort of like "this person really likes me. If I tell him to date other people it shouldn't affect him because he wouldn't do it anyway since he likes me so much...and if he does date others then he really didn't like me that much anyway." After all, there's a certain logic to it. To an INTP...lol...If you really like someone you don't want to date anyone else, right?

This is INTP "uber" logic at work and therefore has many a blind spot. This is a great example of how we end up sabotaging ourselves.

INTP doesn't realize other types don't always work on this dynamic and don't have to be so sure before entering into the emotional world. Other types actually date others to find out whether or not they even like someone. INTP's will want this figured out BEFORE we start dating someone.

When things get this complicated...just act and quit thinking! ...Wait...that's how INTP's sabotage ourselves too. One extreme to another. :sigh:

lol...best of luck ENFP! All I know is you guys are very charismatic and warm. Sell yourself! Don't go into our territory and over think it. Make a move and show your hand. Go with your strengths.

 

[Verfremdungseffekt]

That's the thing. It's such a huge investment to get involved with someone that it's kind of all-or-nothing. Either you get all the trust in the world, or a cold shoulder. There isn't the mental space or energy or emotional dexterity to screw around.

If love is there, great, it's a fact. It absolutely exists. That's comprehensible. If not, that's fine. One can work with that. It's the space in between that's murder, that the INTP will try to minimize. Not knowing, not understanding, anything triggers this primal need to understand. The harder it is to understand, the more energy that gets funneled in, until one forgets to eat, to sleep, and generally has no resources to carry on a normal life. And emotions are so very hard to understand.

The INTP pretty much needs an explicit, incontrovertible declaration to accept something so ephemeral. And then, oh, okay. The light switch turns on. It's like this has always been. And why not; it's true, isn't it?

And then of course if it's true... well, it's very difficult for the INTP to understand anything that might go against a fundamental principle. Once something is accepted, it becomes a blind spot, like the huge tower in the middle of town that no one sees anymore. So once you've convinced an INTP of your love, then should such a time later occur, it will take some effort to convince her that this love has ceased to be. It will be like arguing that lemonade comes from ducks.

"What do you mean you don't love me? Don't be silly. Here are all the things I can recall off the top of my head that prove that you do love me. You and your mood swings, I swear. Now come here and look at this thing I found."

 

[ring the bell]

That's the thing. It's such a huge investment to get involved with someone that it's kind of all-or-nothing. Either you get all the trust in the world, or a cold shoulder. There isn't the mental space or energy or emotional dexterity to screw around.

If love is there, great, it's a fact. It absolutely exists. That's comprehensible. If not, that's fine. One can work with that. It's the space in between that's murder, that the INTP will try to minimize. Not knowing, not understanding, anything triggers this primal need to understand. The harder it is to understand, the more energy that gets funneled in, until one forgets to eat, to sleep, and generally has no resources to carry on a normal life. And emotions are so very hard to understand.

The INTP pretty much needs an explicit, incontrovertible declaration to accept something so ephemeral. And then, oh, okay. The light switch turns on. It's like this has always been. And why not; it's true, isn't it?

And then of course if it's true... well, it's very difficult for the INTP to understand anything that might go against a fundamental principle. Once something is accepted, it becomes a blind spot, like the huge tower in the middle of town that no one sees anymore. So once you've convinced an INTP of your love, then should such a time later occur, it will take some effort to convince her that this love has ceased to be. It will be like arguing that lemonade comes from ducks.

"What do you mean you don't love me? Don't be silly. Here are all the things I can recall off the top of my head that prove that you do love me. You and your mood swings, I swear. Now come here and look at this thing I found."

Good God, man.. get out of my head...

 

[Verfremdungseffekt]

I should start collecting these responses.

 

[Shimmy]

All I can say is, if the INTP isn't sure of the ENFP's intentions...telling someone to date others...she was probably looking for the opposite response. I'd say it was a gambit to call the ENFP out!

Sort of like "this person really likes me. If I tell him to date other people it shouldn't affect him because he wouldn't do it anyway since he likes me so much...and if he does date others then he really didn't like me that much anyway." After all, there's a certain logic to it. To an INTP...lol...If you really like someone you don't want to date anyone else, right?

This is INTP "uber" logic at work and therefore has many a blind spot. This is a great example of how we end up sabotaging ourselves.

When things get this complicated...just act and quit thinking! ...Wait...that's how INTP's sabotage ourselves too. One extreme to another. :sigh:

I agree that we do have a tendency to sabotage ourselves by over analysing this way. But what I was trying to say in my previous post is that I would never do such a potentially emotional devastating test unless I felt like I had everything to loose, which is a very insecure thing to think.

I think an INTP who is convinced of his or her own capabilities would rather just make observations in a familiar situation, then take a more detached view and ponder these observations for as long as necessary.

 

[thisGuy]

why the HELL would you ever, ever, EVER want to seduce an INTP??!?

unless you were really really bored of course

 

[Verfremdungseffekt]

Comedy value?

 

[Costrin]

INTPs are the best. I would know.

 

[Fluffywolf]

Weren't you INFP for a while, Costrin?

 

[Costrin]

No.

 

[Fluffywolf]

I distinctly remember your avatar type showing INFP for a short while. Thought it was a joke at the time.

Or maybe I just wasn't wearing my glasses.

 

[Costrin]

Zomg! You're blind!

 

[Fluffywolf]

I've got internet goggles. Suffering from Partial Hyper Text Transfer Protocol Blindness.