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  1. #71
    Senior Member Tiny Army's Avatar
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    I think part of what attracted my INTP to me was that in the case of our major common interest (comic books) I had read way more than him and had a much wider knowledge base on the subject.

  2. #72
    We all got it comin' kid Delilah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Poriferan View Post
    Ah, yes.. but do remember to indicate that it is a friendly brick throwing. You know, the kind of brick throwing that says "I want you", and not for a lynching.
    Yes, maybe write on the side of it "I really like you, dummy. Wanna have sex? With Me. Now."

    It would also be nice to fix the windshield after we have all the sex, because I am not going to get around to that for weeks.
    *clinging to my face like a starfish of love* ....... PinkPiranha
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  3. #73
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    I don't think it's that hard. Just be direct. Your best chance is to pay attention to him for a bit, have some jokey back-and-forths, let him think about it for a day then actually ask him out while he's still trying to figure all your signals out. At that point he has considered if you are interested and made the decision if he's going to say yes, but he hasn't determined if that's the actual case yet.

    Also, I'm a huge sucker [hiyo!] for great boobs.



  4. #74
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    I don't know, I've never seen that trend. INTPs tend to go more for the mindmate type.
    yeah well, probably it has a lot to do with age as well, I'd expect immature people of most types to subconsciously go for people that make them feel good in the egotistical sense, whilst more mature people would be looking for someone who makes them feel good in a more positive, mutual way, if you get my meaning? that's as much to do with age/maturity as type, I guess. But anyway I was only being facetious jokingly to start with, I did denote that

    Even so... the ego and the id can play funny games with all of us, that's kinda what I was playing on - the idea that a conceited person with an overinflated sense of their intellect (as an immature INTP is very prone to being) will TELL himself that he's looking for an equal, a mind mate, whilst in reality he doesn't actually really think anyone's worthy of his mind, even passing up people ten times smarter than him without realizing it. And then actually going for someone who really just boosts his ego by making him feel smart, telling himself that they're a mind mate, when it's really clear to onlookers that it's an unequal partnership and one partner, typically the girl, is constantly deferring to the guy's knowledge and "letting" him be right all the time. This is my main point though, how what we think we're going for and what we think are our reasons and what we're doing, and what we actually are, aren't always the same thing.

    I think sometimes extraverts are seen as being more prone to this, with introverts being more introspective and therefore more aware of what their subconscious is up to and less prey to it. However, I could equally propose that this might cause a sense of arrogance and complacency about it in the introvert that actually makes them MORE prone to it, cos they're not on guard for it, assuming themselves in control of it, whilst the extravert who knows it's a tendency cos other people tell him all the time, might be more likely to admit it and to be aware when it's happening.

    Just some ideas there, not my cast in stone opinions or anything, I'm just musing
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

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  5. #75
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    yeah well, probably it has a lot to do with age as well, I'd expect immature people of most types to subconsciously go for people that make them feel good in the egotistical sense, whilst more mature people would be looking for someone who makes them feel good in a more positive, mutual way, if you get my meaning?
    I don't get your meaning. Is it that immature people go for mindmates because mindmates make them feel good in the egotistical sense but mature people look for something else in a more mutual positive way than mindmates? If so, please explain.
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
    — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  6. #76
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by InaF3157 View Post
    I don't get your meaning. Is it that immature people go for mindmates because mindmates make them feel good in the egotistical sense but mature people look for something else in a more mutual positive way than mindmates? If so, please explain.
    Well... i've seen, and experienced myself when I was a teenager, relationships where one partner - typically the female - sorta takes care of the other's ego, you know? Holds back disagreeing opinions, lets them "be right" all the time, complements them a lot, panders to their pride and stuff like that, whilst the other person a) doesn't notice this, b) doesn't do anything similar in return and c) is often quite patronizing and critical of their partner, so it's a pretty unequal relationship in terms of "power" and perceived intellectual ability/value. BUT, because the female believes she can't do better, or is maybe blinded by the guy's good points, or too patient for her own good or any other reason, she carries on putting up with him. And the guy is so conceited and arrogant that he doesn't see any of this (maybe he has abysmal Fe), and thinks she's with him cos he's awesome, and that she agrees with him cos he's always right, and that he really is superior to her and stuff. And he thinks he gets on so well with her because she's the only one who really understands him - he sees other people disagreeing with him as them not understanding him, see?

    And so, being with this girl makes him feel important and superior and great, but this is a bad side of himself that he doesn't like to admit to or is a bit of a blindspot for him, so HE thinks, or says, that he loves her for who she is, that she makes him feel good, that she's an equal and that's why he loves her, etc etc... it's sorta delusional.

    You know, she says "oh he treats me like an equal and it's great to have a partner who's interested in deep conversations etc" to her friends, who are thinking "wtf? he's an asshole, he totally patronizes you all the time and thinks he's way above you intellectually", and the guy says "she appreciates my knowledge and we have great conversations, I really feel we're mind mates, it's great", to his friends who are thinking "yeah right, my ass, you just dominate her so she doesn't dare disagree and your conversations are mostly you talking and her agreeing and listening". But there's no telling either of them.

    But I've also seen (and been in) relationships where it really is more equal, where the partners are rather more mature and self-aware, and they will defer to each other in sorta equally, half and half, and one partner treats the other with the same respect as they get treated. Where friends and family often comment in a positive way on how happy the pair clearly are and how well they treat each other, and people use them as an example when they're talking about great relationships that really work. And this sort of relationship is closer to being in reality what the immature version described above is thought of as, in the mind of the, frankly, douches in it.

    Hope that helps explain what I had in mind... just thinking that someone with atrocious Fe and a sense of self-worth that's largely connected to their intellectual ability, would be particularly prone to this sort of thing. And, INTP would fit the bill there, potentially. I'm not saying at all that they're all like it, like I say, I'm just musing and theorizing
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  7. #77
    a scream in a vortex nanook's Avatar
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    i dont know, if you intp are the same (but in my mind, the functions are closely related, so...):

    i get scared if a girl has either strong family binding (think of brother firefighter, father policeman) or if she has a lot of friends, like a whole gang of them.

    i may interpret such things into hairstyle + fashion ....

    gets my paranoia started. you would have to prove that you think and judge on your own terms (because these terms are visible to me, so i can tell in advance how much i can trust you), and that you will keep anything i say for yourself.

    if that is sure (with some girls it obvious), i am very open and will gladly spend time and see what is possible ...

  8. #78
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    Yes, but in the process of pillorying INTPs for the alleged failures of that one or those few, you implied (in the sort of haughty manner would-be counselors are prone to do), that seeking a mindmate is necessarily something one-sided and something for the immature, while something else would be better for them, if only they weren't so convinced of their superiority on this. It is my experience (and others', including norepinephrine) that people often attribute higher arrogance for this to INTs than they in fact have, and then go on to hate them for this concluded cockiness. Further, that people should interpret that preference as really seeking someone to fawn over them seems, well, an oddly colored view.
    hoarding time and space
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  9. #79
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Bring books.
    Have interesting conversations in a variety of areas; make connections.
    Appreciate mystery.
    Be exploratory/open-ended/curious.
    Be competent.
    Be coherent.

    Of course, if you want anyone to know you're interested in them:
    Ask them questions; seem interested.

    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    ...Hope that helps explain what I had in mind... just thinking that someone with atrocious Fe and a sense of self-worth that's largely connected to their intellectual ability, would be particularly prone to this sort of thing. And, INTP would fit the bill there, potentially. I'm not saying at all that they're all like it, like I say, I'm just musing and theorizing
    It happens.

    Everyone has their flaws.
    If it wasn't the socially undeveloped intellectual, it would be someone else whose crap you would be dealing with.

    I also think the balance of Ti to Ne will determine the openness of the INTP and their perception of other people as separate and worthwhile entities and their flexiness. And yes, social insecurities can lead to over-reliance on the intellect and affirmation of it.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #80
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by InaF3157 View Post
    Yes, but in the process of pillorying INTPs for the alleged failures of that one or those few, you implied (in the sort of haughty manner would-be counselors are prone to do), that seeking a mindmate is necessarily something one-sided and something for the immature, while something else would be better for them, if only they weren't so convinced of their superiority on this. It is my experience (and others', including norepinephrine) that people often attribute higher arrogance for this to INTs than they in fact have, and then go on to hate and gripe them for this concluded cockiness. Further, that people should interpret that preference as really seeking someone to fawn over them seems, well, an oddly colored view.
    Uh, pillorying? LOL!! I started out by just kidding around dude, then I just mused, and I didn't imply that anything was necessarily anything, point of fact I was quite careful to NOT imply that, and to state that I was theorizing about what MIGHT happen in SOME cases*. Cos I was asked to explain. Not cos I just turned up with an axe to grind ffs.

    I didn't interpret that preference as anything, but merely hypothesized that on some occasions, it might not be what it seems or purports to be in the mind of the preferer, which I thought was a pretty fair enough idea, geez!



    (by the way, I'm not a "would be counsellor"; I'm a qualified one

    *edit - in fact, I was thinking about what I know for a fact DOES happen in some cases, and musing over how this might correlate to some of the tendencies of less healthy INTP's, as per the theory in the books, like.
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

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