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  1. #411
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    Quote Originally Posted by seeker22 View Post
    Drumroll please... Hi everybody thanks so much for all of the FANTASTIC insight and feedback! It was SO helpful. I truly appreciate it and actually implemented the suggestions.

    The mystery is solved... Kind of. LOL.

    So yep we had a huge talk and she told me that her feelings are SO STRONG (emphasis hers) for me that she basically doesn't know what to do with them because they terrify her. And, that she was crushed when I started dating other people, even though she told me to do so. She said that she told me to do that because she would never tell someone what to do or not do or hold anyone back from whatever it is they want. She said she concluded that I was not interested in her when I started dating "2.1 million other girls" as she described it. She also said it was KILLING her to hear about my dates. So I said "well then why did you ask??" And she said "because I had no right to be upset when I was the one who said go date others."

    I told her that when she told me to go and date others, I took that as SHE was the uninterested one, and that was pretty much a polite rejection - since personally if I really liked someone I would NOT tell them to go date other people. I also interpreted the fact that she always asked about my dates as she just liked me as a friend.

    I told her I didn't think it was fair to tell me to go and date other people, and then when I follow directions and do so (thinking that's what she WANTED) then she uses that as "proof of my disinterest."

    So we told each other we really really like one another and it was all good.

    Now this is why I say mystery solved... almost. LOL.

    THE VERY NEXT DAY... I'm all happy because I think we have this thing hammered out... She on the other hand withdraws and says she is confused because she truly did not believe I even liked her and SHE CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I LIKE HER.

    Ladies, gentleman - WTF???!
    Yay that you got this far! It's very far on the way of working itself out now

  2. #412
    ♪♫♪♫♪♫ luminous beam's Avatar
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    Thumbs up to confidantes

    Quote Originally Posted by Priam View Post

    ...one night I get a call if I could please come join her at a coffeeshop to talk. I spin my car around and meet her there, where she lays out this huge torrid romance she's been having with a guy... to someone she only really met a week ago. Needless to say, I'm fascinated and we talk until 3 in the morning.

    Over the next month, as we do more and more of these conversations, it becomes increasingly obvious where this could be heading. We discuss it, decide that we don't wanna do, to use her words, "the Demi Moore/Ashton Kutcher thing". All is hunky-dory, at least from my perspective, until she collapses into my arms at a pool party in May professing her deep love and attraction to me. I do what any self-respecting INTP does in such situations: freak out quietly and run away. I tell her that I'm not interested and will never be, she says she understands and pretty much figured that would be my response.

    The following year and a half can be summarized as a repeating loop of the following: I would do something emotionally insensitive, she would get PISSED, we would talk and reconcile what the problem was, everything would be good, she would confess her attraction again, I would duck and cover. Throughout all that time, though, we kept getting closer and closer. By the end of it, people were assuming that we were already married. One day I woke up and realized that I didn't mind the thought as much as I once had. That I was all in and that wouldn't change, whether we were officially dating or not. That I was still completely freaked out . We hung out, we talked, we worked through where I was scared and where I wasn't... and thus our official romantic relationship came to be.

    Land sakes but I love her It only took two years to make it happen!
    i'm a starting to see a pattern with NFs recruiting NTs they're interested in as their confidantes and vice versa. and how this in turn leads to closeness and potential love. def not the first time i've heard of that


  3. #413
    (☞゚∀゚)☞ The Decline's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by luminous beam View Post
    i'm a starting to see a pattern with NFs recruiting NTs they're interested in as their confidantes and vice versa. and how this in turn leads to closeness and potential love. def not the first time i've heard of that
    Me neither
    "Stop it, you fuck. Give him some butter."
    Ti
    = Ne > Ni > Fi > Te > Se > Fe > Si INTP (I/PNT) 5w4

  4. #414
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by seeker22 View Post
    Drumroll please... Hi everybody thanks so much for all of the FANTASTIC insight and feedback! It was SO helpful. I truly appreciate it and actually implemented the suggestions.

    The mystery is solved... Kind of. LOL.

    So yep we had a huge talk and she told me that her feelings are SO STRONG (emphasis hers) for me that she basically doesn't know what to do with them because they terrify her. And, that she was crushed when I started dating other people, even though she told me to do so. She said that she told me to do that because she would never tell someone what to do or not do or hold anyone back from whatever it is they want. She said she concluded that I was not interested in her when I started dating "2.1 million other girls" as she described it. She also said it was KILLING her to hear about my dates. So I said "well then why did you ask??" And she said "because I had no right to be upset when I was the one who said go date others."

    I told her that when she told me to go and date others, I took that as SHE was the uninterested one, and that was pretty much a polite rejection - since personally if I really liked someone I would NOT tell them to go date other people. I also interpreted the fact that she always asked about my dates as she just liked me as a friend.

    I told her I didn't think it was fair to tell me to go and date other people, and then when I follow directions and do so (thinking that's what she WANTED) then she uses that as "proof of my disinterest."

    So we told each other we really really like one another and it was all good.

    Now this is why I say mystery solved... almost. LOL.

    THE VERY NEXT DAY... I'm all happy because I think we have this thing hammered out... She on the other hand withdraws and says she is confused because she truly did not believe I even liked her and SHE CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I LIKE HER.

    Ladies, gentleman - WTF???!
    Yay! So glad you cleared the air between you too...and the last part, don't worry. She just needs some time to internalize and process of all the information that you guys talked about. Give her a little bit more time and be patient! But yes, very promising!
    ~luck favors the ready~


    Shameless Self-Promotion:MDP2525's Den and the Start of Motorcycle Maintenance

  5. #415
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shimmy View Post
    Too manipulative and pushy.
    I'd agree with how that can be seen as pushy, but, why manipulative? It seems like the obvious thing...dude is confused (WTF?) by how the INTP reached the conclusion, so he asks her to clarify. It can't get any more blunt and straight-out, cards on the table, than that....how is that manipulative?

  6. #416
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by luminous beam View Post
    i'm a starting to see a pattern with NFs recruiting NTs they're interested in as their confidantes and vice versa. and how this in turn leads to closeness and potential love shenanigans. def not the first time i've heard of that
    +1. INFPs can be sneaky bastids.
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
    — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  7. #417
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aderack View Post
    That's the biggest problem, yes. I guess the one thing that gives me pause about this woman I've mentioned is that if I were to have her, I wouldn't really know what to do with her.

    It's like finding and buying a sought-after action figure, wiggling its arms a bit, thinking "that's nice", and putting it on the shelf next to your DVDs. Maybe every couple of months dusting it off and changing its position.

    So I don't really trust that desire on its own. It's a bit... dumb.
    that is hilarious! and so completely unrelatable...haha ahhh...you'll figure it out though...or if it's the enfp...just follow her lead.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  8. #418
    Senior Member Shimmy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Priam View Post
    You want a story about an INTP and an ENFP that goes well?...Land sakes but I love her It only took two years to make it happen!
    Great story.

    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    I'd agree with how that can be seen as pushy, but, why manipulative? It seems like the obvious thing...dude is confused (WTF?) by how the INTP reached the conclusion, so he asks her to clarify. It can't get any more blunt and straight-out, cards on the table, than that....how is that manipulative?
    It's steering her thought pattern and emotions too much in one direction. She will feel guilty for not returning the feelings.

  9. #419
    Senior Member Misty_Mountain_Rose's Avatar
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    With all this talk about trying to seduce an INTP... I find myself wondering "If they put up such a fight getting into the sack, surely the sex isn't any good..." eh?

    So after all that work of seducing them, you find that you have to start all over again with teaching them how to go from a lover to a LUVAH!

    Embrace the possibilities.

  10. #420
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Misty_Mountain_Rose View Post
    With all this talk about trying to seduce an INTP... I find myself wondering "If they put up such a fight getting into the sack, surely the sex isn't any good..." eh?
    I thought the fight was about getting into a relationship, not getting into the sack.
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
    — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

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