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  1. #311
    Senior Member seeker22's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RuffledINTP View Post
    You know, she tells you to go date other girls and you do, despite you telling her how you feel about her.

    I wanted him to not want to go date other girls and to want to be with me. I asked him to tell me about them, even though it really did hurt me.

    It might take time, but she may really need to gain some confidence in that you really feel strongly for her, through your actions and words, such as telling her kindly and not dating other girls.

    You just can't expect a girl to be confident in your feelings for her when you are telling her about all the other girls you are also seeing besides her.
    Thanks Ruffled! Yes - so crazy how similar our situations have been!

    Let me clarify - I did not WANT to date other girls. She TOLD me to. =( I know that personally if I like someone - I do not tell them to go and date other people. I even told her I was interested in just dating her.

    And the only reason I tell her about the dates is that SHE ASKS.

    And every date I have gone on, I have not even kissed the girl - and I let her know that. She always asks why and I say "because I didn't want to and I didn't like her that way." And then she says - "you need to just go for it!"

    Ouch!

    Then she told me she met a hot guy, and I said "wow so are you two hooking up?" She said "no." When I asked why she would not answer. I asked her a couple more times - she still will not answer.

    We are a TRAIN WRECK! *sigh*

  2. #312
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    ^Honestly, I don't think it will work out between them. She is too insecure, and he is too flighty.
    Yeah, that would be my guess too honestly...

    Quote Originally Posted by Aderack View Post
    The girl above, incidentally? ENFP.

    So there's kind of a theme going on here.
    ENFP/ INTP seems to be quite the common lovelorn theme these days. No other type has had such an ability to compltely fuck with my emotions, except for maybe one ENTJ I met along the way. I've dated a couple of ENFP's. It's always ended in disaster for me. I'm a glutton for punishment though... I'd like to hear a success story, damn it!

  3. #313
    Senior Member seeker22's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aderack View Post
    So there's kind of a theme going on here.
    LOL OMG what is the theme? Do tell... I am open to hearing...

  4. #314
    rawr Costrin's Avatar
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    My advice: stop dating other girls. Keep telling her you wanna be with her, that you care for her. Be stubborn about it. Eventually she'll have to come to a concrete decision.
    "All humour has a foundation of truth."
    - Costrin

  5. #315
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    Quote Originally Posted by seeker22 View Post
    Thanks Ruffled! Yes - so crazy how similar our situations have been!

    Let me clarify - I did not WANT to date other girls. She TOLD me to. =( I know that personally if I like someone - I do not tell them to go and date other people. I even told her I was interested in just dating her.

    And the only reason I tell her about the dates is that SHE ASKS.

    And every date I have gone on, I have not even kissed the girl - and I let her know that. She always asks why and I say "because I didn't want to and I didn't like her that way." And then she says - "you need to just go for it!"

    Ouch!

    Then she told me she met a hot guy, and I said "wow so are you two hooking up?" She said "no." When I asked why she would not answer. I asked her a couple more times - she still will not answer.

    We are a TRAIN WRECK! *sigh*
    lesson to learn in life.. girls will test you.. They might not even do it consciously, but they will throw things out there to see what your reaction will be, especially if she's really uncertain!

    Sometimes things are meant to be, but maybe not meant to be right now... I think things will play out and you will know soon enough. It could keep dragging on for a while, though, if you let it.

  6. #316
    Senior Member seeker22's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    ^Honestly, I don't think it will work out between them. She is too insecure, and he is too flighty.
    I hear you Blue and I would be honest if I had been flighty - but I have been direct! I have been assertive about wanting to date just her.

    If anything I think the perceived "flightiness" has been in reaction to her telling me to go date other people.

    I mean how else do you respond to someone telling you to go date others?? You follow directions, right?? Honor their wishes?? Respect their decision??

  7. #317
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    Quote Originally Posted by seeker22 View Post

    I mean how else do you respond to someone telling you to go date others?? You follow directions, right?? Honor their wishes?? Respect their decision??
    If you really really care about the person, you don't do it. you disregard it and continue professing yourself to them. Show them that you really mean it by not giving up so easily.

  8. #318
    Senior Member seeker22's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RuffledINTP View Post
    If you really really care about the person, you don't do it. you disregard it and continue professing yourself to them. Show them that you really mean it by not giving up so easily.
    Hmmm... Ok I will implement this plan of action and report back lol... God I DO NOT want to be CREEPY though!! I don't want to OVERLY PURSUE her because from what I gathered that will SCARE the INTP. But ok. Will do.

    I guess when she said on multiple occassions "go date other people" I interpreted it as rejection...

    If I like someone there is no way in hell I am going to regularly encourage them to go and date others!

    Stay tuned...

  9. #319
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    Quote Originally Posted by seeker22 View Post
    Hmmm... Ok I will implement this plan of action and report back lol... God I DO NOT want to be CREEPY though!! I don't want to OVERLY PURSUE her because from what I gathered that will SCARE the INTP. But ok. Will do.

    I guess when she said on multiple occassions "go date other people" I interpreted it as rejection...

    If I like someone there is no way in hell I am going to regularly encourage then to go and date others!

    Stay tuned...
    Just go with your gut instinct. If she's so readily scared away, is she worth it anyway? Don't fall into the trap of using MBTI to get definite responses on someone's future actions either. Things are going to work out to be how they are going to be! Just be true to what you want and how you feel and you will know you've done all you could

    good luck!

  10. #320
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RuffledINTP View Post
    If you really really care about the person, you don't do it. you disregard it and continue professing yourself to them. Show them that you really mean it by not giving up so easily.
    Yeah this. She probably assumes that since she would be unable to do this if she were serious about someone, then you are indicating your lack of seriousness. This is why she is unable to fully drop her guard with you, I expect.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

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