If I see my part to play in it, in any significant way, it's kinda irrelevant, from MY perspective what the other's role is, but, more about addressing my part. Just like me, you have a mouth and a brain as well. What I did, you can do as well. And, if you don't, that means you didn't *get* it.
It's kinda like 'giving an answer' rather than helping the other 'figure out the answer for themselves'. I don't think the former is in any way condusive nor effective. And, tying back to my previous comment, I have already tried to address X with you, calmly, a few times, casually, meaning that it's not like I haven't tried to direct you in figuring out the answer. So, if you still don't get it...it just says to me, you don't wanna
I detest repeating myself, nagging, or whining to another...and I will not direct your behaviour to owning your faults. I will be 100% receptive as you take the steps to WANT to acknowledge your faults, sort out the clouds, but, if you are completely unaware or unwilling to acknowledge your part....I'm not gonna spell it out for you. It's the price of adulthood. I won't think for anyone else. (I am very receptive if I see the person taking steps to want to acknowledge though, but if they don't and I know that in whatever way, my own faults are there, then I'll deal with my end of it and leave it at that...it's for MY personal growth, and clearing my own end of it, I'm only responsible for myself)
And, finally, my motto in life: OWN IT! Own your own part in whatever "it" is. OWN IT. And, I expect that from the other as well, at least if the relationship has any semblance of respect from my end.
* btw, it takes a lot, but, I do blow up, esp. in those immovable relationships where I can't just *walk* away...and those are just...bad. bad.
(hope that wasn't too convoluted to follow and addressed some of what you were getting at? from this one entp's pov