In practice, the ENTJ, not recoiling for the consequences of his own thought, usually has a cold, sharp edge with a pessimistic vision of life, while the INTJs are more gooey and share an optimistic vision of the universe. Consider someone like Dawkins, who frequently and fanatically describes his vision of life as elegant, beautiful, and inspiring, with the cold judgment of Weinberg, with its unrelenting, uncompromising doom.
You're also probably confusing extraversion with liking people, which is a huge mistake for the reasons above. An ENTJ will feel truly alive when animated by objective goals and conditions, though this is not the personal, ritualizing team-building that oozes from enthusiastic Fe types.
The differences between ESTJ and ENTJ are easy to spot in practice. One can see the Ni in the back of an ENTJs head, if you will, since the head wobbles and the eyes want to dart around when they speak. Plus the hands tend to be used in a conceptual way. ESTJs usually keep a fixed position, and keep their eyes firmly on their targets. Watch some video and you'll catch what I'm saying. Joe Scarborough, Ed Schultz, Bill O'Reilly, those are better examples of ESTJs.