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Thread: NTs and love

  1. #51
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 01011010 View Post
    I agree.

    Perception is going to play a key role in how someone interprets their individual experience. NTs like to say mind-mate. NFs, soul-mate. People may call it whatever they like. The feeling being described, is most likely the same.
    Yes, the feeling is most likely the same.

    I want a mind mate and a soul mate in one. Although, I guess soul mate kind of implies mind mate...

    I couldn't imagine NTs being any different. Just mind is unfulfilling. Just emotions is boring. Gotta be both or it's a huge waste of time/emotional resources.

    Quote Originally Posted by Valhallahereicome View Post
    So, I wonder if NTs and NFs can connect on a basic level then? I know that supposedly they tend to attract each other, but I'd think that NTs would want their partner to be mentally connected to them and NFs would want their partner to experience them on a more emotional level. As an NF, I know that the latter is true of me.
    Of course they can connect. Especially if they're both N doms. This talk of "NTs like people of like minds and don't care much about an emotional connection" is ridiculous. Some might think that's how they are, but they're wrong.

    Even the T dominants I know have very strong feelings, and sometimes are much more needy than the F partners I see them with. Not being consciously aware of their emotions as often really has nothing to do with their needs/desires.

    (Didn't mean that to be an attack; it was just a jumping point to go on a little tirade )

  2. #52
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Evan View Post
    Even the T dominants I know have very strong feelings, and sometimes are much more needy than the F partners I see them with. Not being consciously aware of their emotions as often really has nothing to do with their needs/desires.

    (Didn't mean that to be an attack; it was just a jumping point to go on a little tirade )
    Yes, you hit the nail on the head. I am almost all T. I have feelings, but I don't realize it until much later. Or I realize it, but I can't identify what the feelings are, or something. It usually takes me a while (like, no joke, 3 months) to genuinely feel an emotion. Even sadness. I just go about my business, then 3 months later, it always hits me. Usually, when it's too late to do anything about it.

    With all my N, I still can't connect the dots...

  3. #53
    o edward cullen! Ardea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    I just go about my business, then 3 months later, it always hits me. Usually, when it's too late to do anything about it.

    With all my N, I still can't connect the dots...
    It's funny because (sh)it happens. XD

  4. #54
    Senior Member Valhallahereicome's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Evan View Post
    Yes, the feeling is most likely the same.

    I want a mind mate and a soul mate in one. Although, I guess soul mate kind of implies mind mate...

    I couldn't imagine NTs being any different. Just mind is unfulfilling. Just emotions is boring. Gotta be both or it's a huge waste of time/emotional resources.



    Of course they can connect. Especially if they're both N doms. This talk of "NTs like people of like minds and don't care much about an emotional connection" is ridiculous. Some might think that's how they are, but they're wrong.

    Even the T dominants I know have very strong feelings, and sometimes are much more needy than the F partners I see them with. Not being consciously aware of their emotions as often really has nothing to do with their needs/desires.

    (Didn't mean that to be an attack; it was just a jumping point to go on a little tirade )
    No worries! Yes, both the mental and the emotional connection are necessary. As an NF, I fell once for a guy with whom the emotional connection was incredibly strong; the mental component wasn't as deep as it needed to be, though. But I didn't see that until later and while it would have affected things eventually, the feelings just overwhelmed me at the time. I wonder if the opposite is true for NTs - that they can get into a relationship based on a great mental connection and then later realize that the feelings aren't present? Just a thought.

  5. #55
    Junior Member antigone girl's Avatar
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    As an ENTP, I find it hard to find mental AND emotional connection with most people I meet. I am very picky but when I decide that I love someone, I am three times my size ; )
    :workout: What a hot mess, with sprinkles of bs thrown in for good measure -Qre:shireQat :workout:

  6. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    I have created this thread since I am intereested in how other NTs do this.
    The thing is that I never had romantic feeling toward someone.
    What is somewhat unusuall for mid 20s.
    Wrong. Love can take years and years to develop or be found. Don't rush it. It will come.

  7. #57
    Member StoryToTell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZiL View Post
    Whew, this makes me feel better.

    I'm in my first real relationship right now and it is definitely making me rethink some propositions about myself. I'm noticing that I have some sort of emotional delay - I guess I can't express myself until I feel secure. I was highly attracted to this guy a few weeks ago when we were in the midst of the chasing game, but as soon as things became official, the intensity of my feelings have dropped. This is really bothering me because this guy is an amazing person with whom I really feel there's a lot of potential. I think this change in my feelings is connected to a larger tendency of mine - a fear of letting someone in too close, a fear of a commitment from which I can't easily get away if I so choose. I'm the same way with part-time jobs...I chase after it, achieve it, and then get skittish. But I need to try to break this pattern now and see what I can learn. Any of you relate?
    YES. I'm also in my first relationship right now. He was all I could think about for a couple months. Now it's official and finally my mind is at free range again. I've always pushed away others because I'd panic at the thought of getting close to them. This guy was one of my best friends for 8 months when out of NOWHERE I suddenly had feelings for him.
    But yeah, I definitely want to learn from this relationship and see where it goes and not follow my usual patterns.

  8. #58
    Senior Member StrawMan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Valhallahereicome View Post
    No worries! Yes, both the mental and the emotional connection are necessary. ...

    I wonder if the opposite is true for NTs - that they can get into a relationship based on a great mental connection and then later realize that the feelings aren't present? Just a thought.
    For me, some sort of mental connection is practically always necessary for emotional connection to develop. It is another issue then what various people mean by mental connection. I think of it as being some kind of mindmates.

  9. #59
    Member Cerridwen's Avatar
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    Never been in love... but I'm extremely attracted to intelligence, especially if it's in something I'm interested in.

    Iunno about the love thing, though. I suspect it would just happen and I'll be randomly blindsided by it and go "Oh... crap... when did this happen?"

    Go go wonderful naivety!
    Nothing can become anything if you tilt your head and squint.

  10. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kangirl View Post
    This isn't me at all. It might have something to do with the fact that I don't date people I'm not *very* interested in (I am talking about casual dating) so it's possible I've just avoided ever being with someone who doesn't do it for me in a big enough way.

    That said, once I am sure about someone, I throw myself 100% body and soul into a relationship. Emotional intensity is not something I have difficulty reaching highs of. Just ask my poor beleaguered INFP.
    What she said.


    I have a hard time committing, yes, completely.

    But When I do find the person I can see myself with 20 years from now. I am fully committed. Exactly what KANGIRL described.

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