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Thread: NTs and love

  1. #31
    Wannabe genius Splittet's Avatar
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    Maybe I was dysfunctional at this before, but I think I have changed and am changing. Some close friendships and philosophical breakthroughs have changed me. I used to be a simple nihilist, seeing no purpose in life, but through reading psychology, I realized the way to create a purposeful life is intimate relationships with others, based on self-disclosure and acceptance. I have some people I am very grateful to, who I am fully committed to, because without them life wouldn't be worth it, and without their understanding life wouldn't be tolerable. Love is not necessarily a feeling of passion. When I tell people I care about them it feels honest, and it's true, and it's mostly based on me feeling liking and respect towards them, and me wanting and being committed to them. Those are the hallmarks of long-term love. The passion comes and goes, and is not necessary.
    "Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius." - Wolfgang Amadé Mozart

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    One other thing though. Wouldnt it be possible to have a real deep and spiritual relation with someone, without even noticing it?

    I mean couldnt it be possible that someone has such a narrowed down set of rules or imagination, what a close spiritual relationship should be like and therefore cant find peace?
    I agree.

    Perception is going to play a key role in how someone interprets their individual experience. NTs like to say mind-mate. NFs, soul-mate. People may call it whatever they like. The feeling being described, is most likely the same.

  3. #33
    Senior Member Valhallahereicome's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 01011010 View Post
    I agree.

    Perception is going to play a key role in how someone interprets their individual experience. NTs like to say mind-mate. NFs, soul-mate. People may call it whatever they like. The feeling being described, is most likely the same.
    Interesting - I could see that being true, although there's probably no way to really test it! That never occurred to me before. I've agonized trying to understand what's going on with my ENTP friend's lack of soulful connection ability, but maybe he makes up for that lack through an ability for deep mental connection. Like entropie and jenocyde said - it's not coldness, it's just a different form of expression.

    So, I wonder if NTs and NFs can connect on a basic level then? I know that supposedly they tend to attract each other, but I'd think that NTs would want their partner to be mentally connected to them and NFs would want their partner to experience them on a more emotional level. As an NF, I know that the latter is true of me.

  4. #34
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Again, not all animals are equal.

    I like to connect with my partner in a way that never gets boring. If she and me would make an archive of our findings, some poor guy in some office would have a lot of useless shit to read.

    I found my soulmate in an INFJ. She has the same attitude, like I have to point out from the start who is the murderer in the movie, we share the same intrests and we are both fascinated about how deep the rabbit hole goes.

    She is a VERY emotional person and is VERY unlikely to be ever happy and relaxed with the present situation. And although I am just the opposite, I give her security through who I am. And she shows me, through her being, what I missed in my life or didnt know about my own emotions.

    According to Socionics we have an asymmetric relationship and I admit, we had A LOT of issues to work out, until today. And I know there are a lot of issues to come. But I have the mind and she has got the heart and we both have the appreciation for the other.

    I would call us the perfect anti-pairing. Though we share the same intrests, we are of different heritage and we are both demanding and strong characters. She is Saggittarius and I am Leo and together we are infernal

    -----

    So compared to the general expectation. The pairing is not only a mind and heart thing. It can moreso be an idea thing for example. Like two people, who see the same shit the same way in the world on an intuitive basis.
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  5. #35
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Valhallahereicome View Post
    So, I wonder if NTs and NFs can connect on a basic level then? I know that supposedly they tend to attract each other, but I'd think that NTs would want their partner to be mentally connected to them and NFs would want their partner to experience them on a more emotional level. As an NF, I know that the latter is true of me.
    I definitely need someone I can connect to mentally. Someone who "gets" me. I love Ns for this reason, the ability to follow my little game of connect the dots and enjoy it as much as I do. I fall in love with someone who challenges me and excites my brain.

    I do get along very well with NFs but tend to find them a bit needy and in need of constant reassurance, or at least ENFPs. If I said "I love you" six months ago, it still stands unless otherwise noted, so why keep asking?

  6. #36
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Yes, yes. I understand you. I am also not cold, I feel very close to many people. But my level of closeness is not what others describe theirs to be. I always think they are making it up, to be honest.
    Right...Others can learn to see with their mind's eye in addition to the other two..also use their memory and knowing of you, and also not place judgement on one based on their last 'mental snapshot' of someone. Unless something is just intentionally mean-spirited, please. Agree?
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  7. #37
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YourLocalJesus View Post
    Nah, I can let someone in completely. Just done it once, and when it ended I was crushed for a couple of years. It helped me develop, though. Would do it again.
    Use lube next time.

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Valhallahereicome View Post
    So, I wonder if NTs and NFs can connect on a basic level then? I know that supposedly they tend to attract each other, but I'd think that NTs would want their partner to be mentally connected to them and NFs would want their partner to experience them on a more emotional level. As an NF, I know that the latter is true of me.
    I prefer NFs. Nevertheless, as you mentioned there's difficulty connecting on the same mental wavelength. I'm not particularly fulfilling for a feeler, emotionally either. I think maturity, life experience, and age will have alot to do with conquering that divide.

  9. #39
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Valhallahereicome View Post

    So, I wonder if NTs and NFs can connect on a basic level then? I know that supposedly they tend to attract each other, but I'd think that NTs would want their partner to be mentally connected to them and NFs would want their partner to experience them on a more emotional level. As an NF, I know that the latter is true of me.
    I know when I press my forehead against my NF's head we stay like that for some time. Because it's so pleasant but I think it also brings the mental and emotional connections together. Sometimes I think if I do it long enough I can hear what he's thinking. But I know he hears mine long before. I envy him for this.

    Quote Originally Posted by 01011010 View Post
    I think maturity, life experience, and age will have alot to do with conquering that divide.
    Absolutely. It's one of the good things about getting older.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  10. #40
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 01011010 View Post
    I prefer NFs. Nevertheless, as you mentioned there's difficulty connecting on the same mental wavelength. I'm not particularly fulfilling for a feeler, emotionally either. I think maturity, life experience, and age will have alot to do with conquering that divide.
    What divide ?
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

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