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Thread: NTs and love

  1. #21
    Member Petite Etoile's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    When you are in relationship you can never be fully commited.
    You like the person and everything works fine. But you stay somewhat reserved no matter how good it gets. It has nothing to do with fear of commitment it is just that you can't achive emotional intensity.
    So it can happen that you feel stupid since you can't return affection in that moment. What can hurt the other person.
    That is completely not me at all. When I'm in a relationship I completely throw myself into it emotionally, and I am definitely able to achieve emotional intensity. If anything I probably get too clingy.

  2. #22
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    I try to be one step ahead and to anticipate emotions before they are outspoken. Furthermore I am highly sensitive to mood swings, my girlfriend tends to see her mood changing firstly in me and then notices it in her.

    When I was very young it sometimes was hard to hold yourself back, if you had got strong emotions about something. Nowadays this feeling still persists but I try not to be carried down too far, if I feel about something / someone strongly.

    Due to a sensitive nature I really need a mature partner. She doesnt need to be linear and logical, my girlfriend for example is highly haphazard. But she needs to understand her feelings and to have a common understanding of what is right and what is wrong for her.

    I dont like girls, who change opinions overnight.
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  3. #23
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    Fasching, entropie?
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  4. #24
    Riva
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    I am wondering if this is a common NT trait.

    When you are in relationship you can never be fully commited.
    You like the person and everything works fine. But you stay somewhat reserved no matter how good it gets. It has nothing to do with fear of commitment it is just that you can't achive emotional intensity.
    So it can happen that you feel stupid since you can't return affection in that moment.
    What can hurt the other person .



    I am sure that this can happen to other groups as well. Since this is probably related with T.
    the lines i coloured don't relate to me.

    i think the lines i coloured relate more to INTx than ENTx. ENTx extroversion wpuld atleast make them try. or atleast the ENTPs

  5. #25
    Member Petite Etoile's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ravana View Post
    the lines i coloured don't relate to me.

    i think the lines i coloured relate more to INTx than ENTx. ENTx extroversion wpuld atleast make them try. or atleast the ENTPs
    my boyfriend is ENTP and he does exactly that (feel awkward when i express my feelings towards him and he can't exactly express it back without saying something silly afterwards)

  6. #26
    Senior Member Valhallahereicome's Avatar
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    I'm FWB with an ENTP guy right now and the "unable to achieve emotional intensity" thing definitely rings true, at least from my perspective. Judging by the way he talks about past relationships, he's never brought deep love and passion to the table and he doesn't really seem to notice that lack. Relationships for him are about clicking mentally and sexually, but I don't see in him that yearning for an intense spiritual and emotional connection. If he got really involved with a girl, he would probably have the same loyalty and caring toward her that he has toward his good friends, but nothing different.

    Needless to say, that would never work for my INFP self!

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by YourLocalJesus View Post
    Nah, I can let someone in completely. Just done it once, and when it ended I was crushed for a couple of years. It helped me develop, though. Would do it again.
    Same.

    It wasn't until a love experience that I actually seemed to feel any kind of emotion at all. After it happened, I could perceive relationships in general, from a completely new perspective. I didn't get over it for a couple of years too.

  8. #28
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    I didn't know that spirits and emotions could even connect. Maybe because I am almost 100% T, but I feel the same way as your fwb. You can make love to my brain and body - nothing else is real to me.

  9. #29
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    One other thing though. Wouldnt it be possible to have a real deep and spiritual relation with someone, without even noticing it ?

    I mean couldnt it be possible that someone has such a narrowed down set of rules or imagination, what a close spiritual relationship should be like and therefore cant find peace ?

    I have a hard time, when someone says a relationship works on a mental or emotional way only, because thats just not possible. You always feel affection and therefore emotions towards someone, even if its only motivated because he is a mathematician.

    I think what you are talking about are topics of common intrests and motivations that a man for example should have to show his affection to his girlfriend.

    I have like a said a hard time to say that nt's have something like "the natural defect" to engage in a deep connection with her girlfriend. I spent 4 years with my gf and when it broke up, I needed 3 years to forget her for the most part.

    I find it a bit insulting, If I am named cold and not deep emotional then. Not because I had a girlfriend for 4 years, but because I am not.
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  10. #30
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Yes, yes. I understand you. I am also not cold, I feel very close to many people. But my level of closeness is not what others describe theirs to be. I always think they are making it up, to be honest.

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