[ENTJ] Laid-back ENTJs

[Cimarron]

One more thread about ENTJs to add to the pile.


To ENTJs: Do you consider yourself "laid-back" and "relaxed?"

To non-ENTJs: Same question about ENTJs.


Most people here seem to think that ENTJs are not very laid-back, and I'm wondering whether there's a gap between what ENTJs think of themselves and what others think of them: how they come off to others.

I'm trying to explore how often they can appear laid-back, and less "uptight," less rigid, etc.

As EJs, they definitely seem "driven," and the analyzing is there, but still they seem just fine relaxing and taking things as they come. That's kind of what I'm talking about...but still doesn't cover all of what I mean.

 

[garbage]

Up until very recently, I've never relaxed. I've always been very, very high-strung and tense. I saw it as a problem and set to fix it by any means necessary, through counseling, yoga, books on the subject.. so on and so forth.

Now, I'm fully taking advantage of the flexibility my job provides and my ability to make things work efficiently to create time for myself.. I now work very short hours on average, despite having a lot of responsibility. I also have found that I'm the one assuaging others who worry about the future, rather than worrying right along with them as I'd previously been prone to do.

In short, I found that being high-strung didn't do much for me, so I became not high-strung. I walk slower, I don't carry tension in my shoulders, I don't feel bound by my schedules..

At first, I had to fully concentrate on all of this, but then a relaxed nature just slowly became a part of who I am.

 

[Cimarron]

True, one thing I've heard on here is that people often see ENTJs as "flexible." Or maybe they just seem flexible to me, being an STJ.

 

[ajblaise]

I know one ENTJ who can occasionally be laid-back, but it's when he's stoned. And even then, it's ENTJ-style laid-backness, which in a way just equals out to ramped up corniness.

 

[Costrin]

Up until very recently, I've never relaxed. I've always been very, very high-strung and tense. I saw it as a problem and set to fix it by any means necessary, through counseling, yoga, books on the subject.. so on and so forth.

How very J, trying to become relaxed by planning it, by working at being relaxed.

As for my personal experiences, the ENTJs I know I wouldn't really described as laid-back. They can be, but that isn't their modus operandi.

 

[Nonsensical]

My sister's an ENTJ and she is far from being laid back. Always asking about what's happening, bossing me around, even though I'm 7 years her elder. She is constantly giving orders, getting mad, yelling, and trying to manipulate things to her favor. I, honestly, have a tough time being around her, because of how uptight and bossy she is..I don't think all ENTJs are like that though.

 

[groovejet02]

Yep, that explains my ENTJ cousin/best friend. The intensity is directed towards wanting something and doing everything to get that, but generally she's very open and laid back, for example never over-analyzing things, not easily hurt, not worried about things out of her control.

 

[NewEra]

I don't think so. My dad is ENTJ, and he's anything but laid-back.

 

[Venom]

there are 8 threads about ENTJs on the first page haha... ENTJs are coming into style.



Im laid back in the sense that:

-IRL, (when its not an internet: religion vs science flame war) im not very judgmental of people's personalities, life styles, social circles or life choices. -Im also very accepting of dif food, tv, etc (except Rap, i hate rap), in that i will watch/eat just about everything with the idea of adjusting my expectations to what im watching/eating.

-nights out with friends dont have to be this big RAH RAH. im fine just with a causal meal, maybe some beers hanging out, bbqs, pool time, etc


im extremely intense in the sense that:

-although i understand why and how people hold various positions (and thus dont judge too harshly), i definitely think that there is a right answer to be argued for.
-although im casual about "what to do" with friends and "lady friends", im intense in the aspect of how i value and interpret the actions of these people (i take people at their actions rather than their words), and im intense in the aspect of what we like to talk about (i hate small talk).

-im intense in that i like to take things farther than most: a running joke can go on for days, a joke from 3 days ago gets worked back into the convo (and i expect everyone to remember it), a social norm taken to the extreme to show how ridiculous it is, 20 different tangent jokes all being played upon each other at the same time (like juggling).
-i wear people out
-my sense of humor is basically being uber intense, ala Stephen Colbert, Jim Carry etc

it's ENTJ-style laid-backness, which in a way just equals out to ramped up corniness.

after i wrote about my sense of humor, i then discovered someone else was aware of it haha

 

[theplacesyoullgo]

Sorry, but... no. I'm an ENTJ (strong on all except for the E), and I'm probably one of the most intense people I know. Knowing how I "tick," it's hard to imagine others who identify as the same type being truly "laid back." As a general rule, the only thing I can see ENTJs being "laid back" about is kind of in the vein of what Babylon Candle mentioned - the lack of judgment about what others may consider "weirdness." I'm judgmental in the sense that I make snap-judgments about what other people's motivations and intentions, but I honestly don't care about a lot of things (e.g. social circles, life choices of others) that a lot of other people do. In fact, I often find myself pretending to care about such things more than I do around people like my ISTJ friend.

 

[Kasper]

ENTJ Laid back? No.

Outside of professional interests my ENTJ brother spends a lot of his spare time engaged in 'relaxing' things he enjoys like music, movies etc but he still doesn't appear to be relaxed while doing them, it's weird, he'll be listening to a song that he likes for example, and rather than just letting people listen he'll explain where they're from and who produced them etc, etc, etc. it's like he's still busy when he's perfectly relaxed, his mind never stops wanting to learn and teach. Not normally laid back.

Flexable? Not so much.

If he can logically see why something is the way he’s being told then he will continue the conversation, if the conversation is less logical he will get frustrated.

 

[Kangirl]

It depends greatly on the situation. I have certain friends who would describe me as extremely laidback. Others would say the opposite. It truly depends on the situation. In social situations, I think I'm laidback. It makes things easier and more fun for everyone. if there is something to be accomplished, a task of some sort, I am anything but laidback. In terms of being alone with myself, I don't think I'm laidback. I can think myself into a total frenzy most of the time and would also describe myself as high strung.

Interesting question. It seems the more I care about something (people, task, situation etc.) the less laidback I am. Possibly the wrong approach?

 

[Valiant]

I am laid back when I am not around people. Those few that does not make me tense tend to become at least my good friends.

 

[Rangler]

I like to accomplish relaxation.

 

[Venom]

I like to accomplish relaxation.

back when i thought i was a different type, that was the one thing that stood out as not fitting: i treat relaxation as work.

-accomplishing new songs
-beating new video games
-writing new bits

it all gets this "i have to ____" attitude

 

[Harlow_Jem]

I'm a supremely laid back ENTJ, for the most part. Most people would describe me as the most easy-going person they know. I'll take charge and boss people around, but not in a way that's overbearing unless I'm trying to be overbearing.

I'm all about finding something that everyone can agree on and what makes the best/peaceful situation for any given circumstance. I think it's because in terms of enneagrams I'm an 8w9. I'm pretty much up for anything and can deal with whatever comes.

 

[htb]

I was exchanging compliments with a departing ISFP coworker. The fellow joked that I could occupy his space. "No, I couldn't," I laughed. "You're earthy, smooth, laid back, and I'm not." He disagreed and smiled, describing me as laid back when it's past the morning or there's nothing to be done; hence my vote in this thread.

 

[Salvadorabian]

I like to accomplish relaxation.

That's priceless.

 

[figsfiggyfigs]

I had this HUGE response typed up about how I think I"m a laid back person..

I'm sitting next to one of my best friends, and I asked her " hey am I a laid-back person", and I did it in a really relaxed and non-intense manner.

she looks at me, laughs, and says " NO!! DEFINITELY NOT!"

I'm actually REALLY surprised.

 

[Rainne]

I had this HUGE response typed up about how I think I"m a laid back person..

I'm sitting next to one of my best friends, and I asked her " hey am I a laid-back person", and I did it in a really relaxed and non-intense manner.

she looks at me, laughs, and says " NO!! DEFINITELY NOT!"

I'm actually REALLY surprised.

I assume that's you in your profile picture?