User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 21 to 30 of 38

  1. #21
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    22

    Default

    Anyone else?

  2. #22
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    1w9 sp/sx
    Posts
    2,128

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rainbows View Post
    Someone dug up my old old thread :/
    surely you've had more INFJ ENTJ experience by now?

  3. #23
    Branded with Satan murkrow's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    1,635

    Default

    Lol.

    this is always a funny one because of how amazingly different the perspectives are.

    anyway I did a bunch of years with an INFJ, it was great and it was terrible.

    Be honest about everything, little lies killed us.
    wails from the crypt.

  4. #24
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    1

    Default

    I've been married to an ENTJ for 4 years. The first two years were tumultuous. His Te and my Fe clashed in most of our interactions. I was 19 when I married him (he is also 12 years my senior) so my lacking emotional/psychological maturity (I used Fe recklessly) coupled with his inexperience ever dealing with Fe caused for much marital problems. He valued independence and provided me with all the means necessary to "live my life" (paid my education, provided me with a car, etc) and allow him to live his (studying CMA, CPA, etc). Where I wanted to "bond" and experience these deep and fantastic moments of affection, he wanted to schedule the next days events or talk about a problem needing solving (he ALWAYS had the answer but just needed a sounding board). Although he listens to my ideas and ways of solving problems, he always has a much more efficient way even if it is at the expense of the people around him. This bothered me a great deal because I value harmony in our relationships with family and friends. We would often fight about how he would bulldozer anyone who stood against him or his ideas. He never realized how blunt he actually was until I played it back for him explaining how others perceived/felt it.

    I also felt quite lonely. I wanted to have the "soulmate" experience with him whereas he wold prefer discussing a business topic or even arguing for the heck of it. He is much more knowledgeable than I am, especially in the fields of his interests, and I would always be outdone and feeling stupid or inadequate.

    We disagree on how to discipline the children (we have two girls ages 4 months and 3.5 years). Our eldest is a real rambunctious extravert who never stops talking or jumping for even a minute. This drives him mad. His temper flares up and I often have to step in to prevent him from spanking the child for just "being herself". I can see how the effects of his temper will cause problems for our children in the future, but he is more concerned about extinguishing the behaviour immediately. However, if I sit down with him when he is cool, I'll explain in the most logical way possible, how A causes B and it's probably not the best for our kids. He mostly always agreed with me after the fact, but goes back to his old patterns when the moment arises (my daughter pisses him off again). If I even dare to use my Fe to convince him, it usually ends in an argument. "She is only a baby" or "I hate hearing shouting at this time of night!" gets nowhere with him. I have to use a lot of energy to talk to him in his psychological language... yet he seldom attempts to accommodate my preferences.

    His career is at the forefront. We move around the world so he can climb the corporate ladder. He loves his family, and I know he appreciates me (a year ago he told me he likes how I am a great mother to his kids and I cover his blind spots when he deals with his family/friends) so as long as the family unit is intact and working somewhat effeciently (house is clean, supper ready at same time every day, he gets his nap, study/work time, and scheduled weekly visits to his relatives) then he is happy.

    There are quite a few benefits to being married to an ENTJ:
    -He is loyal and committed to providing for his family.
    -He is efficient, determined, and a hard worker. He will never settle for a mediocre position or career.
    -His personality balances mine and prevents me from staying too long in my ivory tower.
    -He brings out my potential.
    -His career satisfies many of his "needs" so as long as I take care of the home and kids, he is a contented man.
    -He always has a practical solution to my problems.
    -He deals with all the technicalities of home life (finances, repairs, etc).

    The past two years have been good. I've learned to speak logically to him and use my Fe in a tactical way. He has also tried to please me in little ways: calling me to check up on me during the day (although he knows I am alright), smiling to me from across the room, or saying how delicious the food is (although it surely sucks).

    He appreciates that I don't love him for his money or status. This is in stark contrast to the materialistic women surrounding him at work and even in his family.

    I've reframed what "being loved" means. I now know not to expect flowers or small gifts on special occasions. It's not his thing... but he shows his love in his way. Luckily I can feel satisfied with that.

    Honestly, I wanted to bail out during our first few years. (We were married after 2 months of "getting to know each other"). Getting pregnant forced me to stay, and I'm glad I did. With a bit of effort and a lot of understanding, this combination can work. Obviously the INFJ is going to have to adapt to the ENTJ more than vis-versa...

    There isn't much "chemisty" between us, but the relationship somehow works on a practical level. We have our moments of passion and mutual understanding... but it isn't the norm. I am a great supporter for him, I'll follow him anywhere all the while doing my own thing (studying to become a counsellor --I know, surprising!---). This works for us.

    Also, my random and somewhat unstructured thought process drives him mad.

  5. #25
    Giggity Vie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    8
    Posts
    792

    Default

    .
    Last edited by Vie; 08-29-2010 at 10:33 PM.

  6. #26
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    270

    Default

    "wandering soul" you are fabulous for typing up your experience in being with an ENTJ in such detail! It's interesting to hear you can work it out--you just have to be prepared to adapt to it.

  7. #27
    figsfiggyfigs
    Guest

    Default

    I know 2 INFJ's. and just based on their behavior, I can barely stand being friends. ><
    THEY( the 2 friends) are way too whimsical, and "deep" for my liking.

  8. #28
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5
    Posts
    202

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by You'reWrongI'mRight View Post
    THEY( the 2 friends) are way too whimsical, and "deep" for my liking.
    I think what you meant to say is that they are too paradoxical for your liking.

  9. #29
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    270

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by You'reWrongI'mRight View Post
    I know 2 INFJ's. and just based on their behavior, I can barely stand being friends. ><
    THEY( the 2 friends) are way too whimsical, and "deep" for my liking.
    If you can't stand them it probably isn't healthy for you to pretend to be friends with them.

  10. #30
    figsfiggyfigs
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Random Ness View Post
    If you can't stand them it probably isn't healthy for you to pretend to be friends with them.
    well they're great people, but at times I want to choke the living rainbow colored rays of sunshine that comes out of their day-dreamy face( I'm sure they want to do this to me at times as well) . and they know this
    I never need to pretend to like someone. People know where they stand with me

Similar Threads

  1. [INFJ] INFJs and Single-Mindedness
    By Kiddo in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 51
    Last Post: 11-23-2009, 06:39 PM
  2. [INFJ] INFJs and Dating
    By Kiddo in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 109
    Last Post: 02-22-2009, 06:42 AM
  3. [INFJ] INFJ and Compliments
    By chippinchunk in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 47
    Last Post: 01-24-2008, 09:20 AM
  4. [INFJ] INFJ and grief
    By tovlo in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 12-21-2007, 06:49 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO